Moral dilemma - duplicate Christmas presents

[No1toerag]

Well, a truly first world problem to be resolved with common sense and humour please!
Last week I tried on the jacket of my dreams (£160, been looking for this style and fit for ages ) I had no intention of buying it and it was the wrong size anyway.
However I casually checked it on line and found it on a different retailer website for £120 …. then as I popped it in my basket they offered me 25% off!
So I bought it for £96, delivery tomorrow.
However yesterday I noticed a jacket- shaped parcel ( from the retailer) addressed to my husband which was quickly whisked away ….I’d guess he paid full price for it and will be ever so pleased he’s finally bought me an item of clothing I won’t return! 🤣
So do I allow us as a household to ‘waste’ £64 by retuning mine and saying nothing? Or is there a clever solution without causing disappointment? I can’t really ask for the receipt without causing suspicion ….!

I would wait and see if he’s anything like my dh he probably ordered the wrong thing or size

This is MN, so you should think about divorcing him! 😂

Same here. In years to come, when you’re wearing the jacket, it’ll make him happy he bought you something you liked. That’s worth £64 I reckon. If you make him return his, whenever you wear the jacket you’ll both remember the time he messed up and paid over the odds for a jacket.

Having said that, I wouldn’t return yours till after Christmas, just in case the one he’s bought is the wrong size.

I'd do that too - then you get the jacket you want without having paid for it, and he gets to feel happy that he chose well.

100% this is what you should do. Don't ruin what is a lovely thoughtful gift by telling him, you'll only ruin the jacket for yourself by remembering that every time you wear it. Instead let him have the win and happiness of seeing you frequently wear something you obviously love. That's priceless.

This

Don’t spoil it. Send yours back and imagine you never saw it! Otherwise, you risk micro-managing his gift shopping for you. You will at least take the shine off it. Not worth it.

Cancel the cheque

How do you know he bought you the same jacket?
Or even the right size, if it's the same jacket?

I think you need more information before you make a decision.

If it turns out to be the same jacket and the right size, I'd quietly return yours and give him the win. He wouldn't have spent hundreds more - if you tell him you got yours for less than he spent, you're kind of rubbing it in that you're a better bargain hunter than he is.

Thanks everyone, it’s not often he gets things so right 🤣 so I’ll discretely send mine back ( although I know the FC sale has only just kicked in so he’d have paid full price )

I’d open it, love it, be hugely pleased, then “find out” on Boxing Day that it’s actually in the sale now! And since you’ve not taken the label off, you could suggest you quickly “buy” the cheaper one and DH sends his one back. Everyone a winner?

Aren’t you just guessing it’s the same jacket though?

Try yours on and show him saying what a bargain. Then say oh I would really like x and let him get something else nice that you would like. Even if it’s a pedicure, massage or haircut

I don't get why you're walking on eggshells to avoid hurting his feelings. I wouldn't be hurt at all by that in his position - I'd be pleased I definitely did "get it right" if you clearly liked it so much you bought it yourself (and find it a bit funny!). I would find it absolutely insane if I found out you'd kept the full price version and essentially threw away £64 of family money for absolutely no reason.

Just wait until he gives it to you (he might have got you something completely different!) and say you can't believe it, you bought the same thing yourself. Say you bought your version too long ago to return, or you've already taken the tag off, or get a friend or sibling or whoever to give it to you and tell them you feel too awkward asking them to return it so can you return 'his' version.

If they're the exact same item I don't get why he would feel any way about it other than pleased you have something you like AND saved £64.

So return yours (in the new year) and keep quiet, let him have his moment.

spoil it by saying you got it anyway or cheaper or anything like that, it will never feel the same, and he might not bother trying next time.

just keep quiet and enjoy the jacket you live bought for you with love

DOn't send it back until you have received your gift. Check it is the right size and no damage anywhere - THEN send your one back. Or keep both. If you love it, then you can wear it for the next 40 years ...

No it hasn’t op, the FC sale has been going on for a couple of weeks
and if the package arrived today… then he’s likely paid only £16 more than you!

I agree, if he got it right it’s worth the extra money. Plus you already got the buzz of snagging if for a bargain. You can now let him keep the buzz of getting you something you love regardless of money.

I wouldn't send yours back until you know that he has bought you the same thing. Just because it's a jacket size parcel doesn't mean it's the same jacket. He might have bought the jacket in a different colour, or the wrong size, or a similar jacket which isn't the same or something competely different.

You have two options here, you either produce the jacket you have bought and say look what I found on the ASOS website, and I got it for a real bargain (giving him the chance to return his if he has indeed bought the same jacket) or you wait until Christmas and if he has bought the correct jacket in the correct size, you send yours back at that point without mentioning it to him.

@No1toerag what about pretending his doesn’t fit and you say you love it so you'll see if they have the size/sort the return and then ‘oh look this company has my size and cheaper so I’ve ordered it from there’? Win-win!

For the long game, just send yourself back.(although post Xmas day in case he hasn't got you what you think!)
Dh will be chuffed that he has got you something that you like. This will stand you well over the years.

and overspend by £64! I would return the full price one.

It’s not a bargain if you don’t save the money. I don’t understand how people can just throw money away like that. Wow.

I didn’t say it was a bargain, I said she already had the buzz of snagging it for a bargain. And maybe the difference in price is worth the enjoyment of letting the DH buy it for her - it may not feel the same to b DH if she has bought it herself. Besides it doesn’t sound like money is an issue here.

Just to add fuel to the fire I’m not ‘treading on eggshells ‘ just conscious of not spoiling what is a very kind and considerate gift ( he was with me when I tried on the wrong size so knows exactly which jacket and size )
And to reply to another comment - we are both 60 plus but still work ( zero hours) to afford the luxuries so £64 is around 3.5 hours’ work for me .
Your comments are interesting and I am grateful