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Original poster

"Adults buy themselves what they want throughout the year" does anyone else not!?

102 replies

ChristmasCookie1 · 16/12/2025 20:40

I always see this on threads about adult gifts.

Does anyone else actually NOT buy themselves everything they want (not need) during the year? I absolutely wouldn't just buy myself a fancy cosmetic/toiletry/food item during the year and neither would any of my immediate family. All financially stable.

OP posts:
ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 16/12/2025 23:06

I buy myself clothes and everyday toiletries but t there are ‘treat’ things I’ve asked for as it’s nice to have some things as presents and I probably wouldn’t buy myself, eg posh body cream and chocs as opposed to the ones that go in my weekly shop. There were a few activity things I was going to buy myself but held off so I had something for my present list (family WhatsApp).

cramptramp · 17/12/2025 00:19

No. There is a moisturiser I love but it is so expensive I can only buy it when someone gives me money as a present.

singmoon · 17/12/2025 01:05

I do, I buy anything I want and can afford

Power26 · 17/12/2025 01:12

I buy myself things all the time, but I have ample enough disposable income and advanced in my career where it doesn’t feel irresponsible.

I don’t buy myself everything, eg I wanted an expensive kettle for about 3 years but only bought it for myself recently bc we have a perfectly fine kettle already. And even then I got it 20% off for Black Friday as opposed to full cost so it was a considered purchase.

so I would say, I think twice before anything over say £250, but anything under that I would buy without too much consideration depending on what it is. I do save more than 10x that each month, so regardless of whether I spend or save that money, my savings still build at a decent rate.

SoloMumJustMuddlingThrough · 17/12/2025 01:24

I don't because I have a kid. I could afford to buy myself more but my brain won't let me... I get a greater endorphin hit buying things for DD. If I go to the shop with the intention of buying socks, I'll leave with the cheapest bog standard ones for myself (if any) and a lovely pair of patterned ones for her (🤦). My toxic trait is an inability to stop myself buying second hand kids books...
I DO buy myself a couple of things for Christmas, something from DD and something to me from me.

CautiousLurker2 · 17/12/2025 01:25

Only when the ones I got for Christmas last year have run out… you can never have too many luxury beauty Items or bottles of fine wine.

Littlebuddh · 17/12/2025 01:45

I do but this new year im not as i really need to save.

Njx1990 · 17/12/2025 02:47

Very normal, especially for men with hobbies and money - who will know what they want and go and get it when they want it.

For me, the solution is either:

A, you find something that they appreciate, but don't actually like to buy themselves. E.g. my mother will buy any clothes/beauty stuff she wants, but she really can't be bothered with buying tech. My father is the reverse - they buy what ever they want, but they don't "want" to buy everything they need. So he buys her tech, and she buys him clothes, and they both appreciate the things they need and then like, but couldn't really be bothered to put effort into themselves.

Or, if you can't find anything. if they absolutely buy everything they want and need all the time... then consumables. Long lasting nice consumables.

elliejjtiny · 17/12/2025 03:01

There are about 3 authors who i will have their new books on pre order. And occasionally I will treat myself to a pair of £5 earrings or a bottle of nice shower gel. But mostly no, I don't buy things for myself.

Xmasdemon · 17/12/2025 03:20

No I don't. I spend a lot on DC. Meanwhile I've been wearing leggings with a rip on them the last while. I have just bought myself a pair of FatFace socks and it's a real treat to me. I would be very happy to receive a scarf or similar for Christmas

ScroogeMcHumbug · 17/12/2025 03:42

I do, and I buy things through the year for my child and husband too. If I see something in the shops that I know they'll appreciate, and the price is good then I'll pick it up and give it to them just because. I don't like the thought of buying things and hiding them away for some time of the year that I'm "supposed" to give presents.

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 17/12/2025 03:58

You may as well say that it's pointless adults from different households getting together for Christmas dinner, as they could easily cook/arrange food for themselves as they do all year anyway.

Or it's pointless wishing adults a happy Christmas, as they don't need you or your good wishes to enjoy the season.

As PP said, it's just a symbolic show of kindness and consideration to those whom you love. Unless you're Paul McCartney, nobody is expecting you to give them a gift that will transform their lives for the better beyond all measure, and far above what they could ever buy for themselves... but it's a gesture of love, which you can easily do however much money you have available to spend.

Meadowfinch · 17/12/2025 05:36

As a cash strapped single mum, I buy necessities only during the rest of the year.

At Christmas my ds has a pile of presents. When he was 4 he got upset because Father Christmas had forgotten mummy, and he tried to share his presents with me.

Since then, I buy myself a few things I need and one or two treats & wrap them to put under the tree. He's 17 now but I still do it so ds doesn't feel obliged to fill the gap.

This year I have a running top, and a new sweater. 😊

Youhaveyourhandsfull · 17/12/2025 05:50

I personally think buying gifts for any adults is mad and unnecessary and it's one less thing to do.
I send my parents a hamper as they would likely be offended if I didn't, but I don't want presents from them. Buying presents by obligation causes a huge amount of extra work (mainly for women, let's be honest) and of course costs a lot. And it's not necessary.

hattie43 · 17/12/2025 05:59

yes . I buy whatever I want when I want but still love to choose gifts for people and can always think of things when people ask what I’d like.

Hoolahoophop · 17/12/2025 06:35

I don't, I grew up without the means to buy what we wanted when we wanted and I think living frugally has stayed with me. Now I do have the cash but still don't just buy everything I see and want.

Actually waiting for a birthday or Christmas makes me think about if it's really a want or a passing want often I've forgotten I wanted something by the time birthday or Christmas comes so end up with less clutter.

Finally the waiting makes the getting a more exciting experience. Looking forward to having something, waiting and anticipating is more enjoyable and lasts longer than instant gratification then move on to the next want.

AhBiscuits · 17/12/2025 06:40

I always buy myself the things I want and also little treats. Life and work is hard, if you can afford it then why not?

ATadSurprised · 17/12/2025 06:53

I've never really bought myself things during the year since I had DC and was a sahm. Would buy the DC stuff they needed as and when, replace my stuff if it broke/wore out. I liked receiving money gifts as I could put some aside for exciting things like dentist bills.
Since I started working again, I've bought loads for myself- I needed clothes to wear to work. I decided to buy myself something every month, which seems crazily extravagant! I usually wait a couple of days between seeing something and actually buying it, just to make sure I genuinely want it!
Right now, the only thing I want for Christmas is for some cash to pay someone to clean my house 😂

notsurewherenotsurewhy · 17/12/2025 07:03

I don't buy much for myself during the year, including things i do 'need' - I haven't really had the money since having my children. Consequently there are loads of things I'd love to receive as gifts, even though I'm not very materialistic. But nobody else has that kind of money to spend on me at Christmas, either! The arrangement between adults in my (small) family is a fairly small budget per gift, which I think is worst of all worlds - it still adds up, but it's also quite hard to choose each other good gifts.

christmasideers · 17/12/2025 07:23

Not really. I do buy myself stuff but not the same stuff that’s on my Christmas list.

If I run out of cleanser or moisturiser etc I’ll buy myself one but I’ll buy the cheap Superdrug one not the more expensive one I’d ask for as a gift. Same with soap, I buy supermarket own but ask for Nesti Dante for Christmas.

I do buy myself a few bits of clothing from vinted through the year and they’re often wants not needs but if I wanted a particular jumper etc from a shop I’d ask for it for Christmas or my birthday.

I wouldn’t buy myself a box of chocolates but the kids know my favourites so usually get me some as a gift.

I read a lot and mostly use free kindle books and the library but will sometimes ask for a book I particularly want as a present.

WonderingWanda · 17/12/2025 07:35

No I don't often by myself luxury items or indeed spend much on myself at all. I hate shopping and wouldn't know where to begin with luxury brands. I see people wearing nice leather boots and think they look lovely for example, they tell me where the boots are from and I see the price and run away, thinking it's frivolous to spend that on boots. Last year dh got me a lovely long coat that had been admiring up but couldn't justify spending that much on myself. I'm not tight, I will buy the nice items for others. I think it's ingrained in me from childhood...."Don't be spoilt, be grateful for what you've got" because we were poor growing up and I never got the brands and expensive versions really.

Tigerbalmshark · 17/12/2025 07:35

I think it’s a combination - I don’t want as much as an adult (because stuff doesn’t wear out/I already have a lot of stuff) and I buy “needs” like clothes and toiletries throughout the year. I also don’t go out as much as I used to now I have primary age children, so no occasion to wear jewellery or special clothes/shoes. So I generally ask for nice food, spa vouchers, and this year I have asked for some bird feeders for the garden.

Whereas DC want a lot of toys, and their interests change as they gets older/grow out of stuff. So they are much easier to buy for.

Gowlett · 17/12/2025 07:39

I buy things when I see a good deal. Charity shop, TK Maxx.

I’m kinda over getting posh stuff. Used to love it at Christmas.

But, a lot of it isn’t any better than normal, good quality items.

DinoLil · 17/12/2025 07:48

I do because I don't expect gifts off anyone.

EveryDayisFriday · 17/12/2025 07:48

I buy myself whatever I want during the year. Dh and I work and have £250pm each to spend on ourselves. This year I got a Xmas bonus on top that usually goes to pay for Xmas but this year he told me to keep it for myself and he will keep his overtime.

I also hate receiving gifts, if I ask for something specific it feels grabby. I have never received precisely what I asked for anyway, often a different colour/ fragrance etc version or something similar but not quite right, therefore wasted money. Or they go completely off script and the thing you were looking forward to isn't even there and you are going to have to buy it anyway.

It's the thought that counts!! No, that thought is upsetting to me, like I cared enough to get you something but not enough to get you exactly what you wanted. I ask that I don't get gifts at all now but if they insist, I now let people buy me whatever because it makes them feel good and thank them for it before it gets regifted. I've been conditioned after decades of shit gifts and all that wasted time and money to be self reliant and not ask for anything and buy myself the beautiful things I like.

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