MIL has stolen my childhood christmas decorations!

[ExhaustedPigeon37]

Hello all,

Bit of a strange one but I think my MIL has stolen my Christmas Decorations!!

They have been in my family since I was small and although they aren’t expensive, nothing special they are just sentimental to me.

We had these three decorations, saying Joy, Noel and Ho Ho Ho with a Santa head on the top. The letters cascade downwards and the Santa has a loop so that you can hang them up. This year I put our decorations up and only found the Joy one. Asked DH and he said he hadn’t seen them, so I only put the Joy one up thinking I’d come across them in another box, I never did.

Fast forward to yesterday when we went over to theirs and they live about an hour away so we stayed for dinner and catch up after DH finished work. MIL was showing us her new decorations and the tree (which is themed red and white). I happened to glance at the bottom of the tree where I saw THE/MY Noel and Ho Ho Ho decorations hanging off of her tree!!! I’ve never seen these decorations at their house before, so the only conclusion I can come to is that they are mine, which is why I couldn’t find them this year!

Asked DH and he said he didn’t notice, asked if he remembers us giving them to her or anything and he said can’t at all. Last year we moved house in

I’m so shocked. What do I do? Do I ask for them back? Do I just leave it? Do I sneak them out when we next go there? DH wanted to stay at home on Boxing Day but I now want to go there to retrieve my decorations (they have been invited on Christmas Day but declined due to the journey and FIL recently having had a knee replacement).

Why didn’t you just exclaim “so that’s where they are, I’ve been looking everywhere for them. What are they doing here?” And look expectantly at mil to see how she gets out of that. If she says “I bought them” I’d mildly say, “that’s a bit of a coincidence isn’t it, that mine go missing and you happen to have bought exactly the same ones. You do realise these are sentimental because they were my childhood ornaments, I can’t believe they are still for sale. Where did you buy them?” If you say it mildly then she will know you know, but it won’t escalate things into a row. Hopefully she will bluster and give them back. If not then you’ll have to let it drop for dh’s sake, but you both know where you stand going forward. Your relationship will never be the same.

I would see if I can find the other two, online, eBay etc. If I could, I’d order them & tell hubby how clever of me to find these. Then steal the 2 off MIL’s tree. 😋

You can still buy these

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1597702614/vintage-1980s-velvet-santa-noel?show_sold_out_detail=1&ref=nla_listing_details

Or this

this will give her an opt out of admitting she stole them. She could just answer “oh I wondered where they came from”

My flatmate took my top once. I said, " that's the same top as mine?" When she wore it. She just looked at it vaguely.
I stole it back and nothing was ever said again.

I don't think she was being evil, just scatty.

Take them back and say nothing!

Everyone on here will whoop you up to “confront” MIL as they’re yours and she’s a thief. But best advice is to leave it. Accusing your MIL of stealing will not go well she will burst into tears and deny it and you will look like an arsehole.

The only way you could possibly wing it is to announce on seeing the tree: ”Oh that’s where they are, I’m so relieved I thought they were lost”.

OP you need to take your FIL’s present as soon as possible!! If they invite you in, great. If not, ask if you can use the loo. Then just as you are getting ready to leave, go grab your decs! Whatever is going on with MIL it’s not ok for your DH to just ignore your feelings on this.

No need to announce anything. Just go and take them back!! Preferably when MIL is out of the room. But if not. Then say “I’ve been looking for these for ages, they must have somehow ended up in your bag by mistake.” Then leave. If they argue? “My mum and nan have proof these were bought in Harrods in 1990s if you need it? Then flounce out!!”

Do not do this…. as she might bin them and deny all knowledge!! Best to pop in and just quietly take them back.

So bloody tell MIL you want them back!!!
Your DH telling you to just leave it speaks volumes …….

think I’ve found one! https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/205168754009?_ul=UK&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338703918&toolid=20006&_xiid=205168754009&customid=Cj0KCQiA6NTJBhDEARIsAB7QHD2sf6GiRNcw-mqw1WbSENeEpks9RdnlNONnruRtC5omPsx33VsXlhsaApl-EALw_wcB%7C0AAAAADtppYdDa-9crUozr3PfMKbFdRpmX%7CCkAKCAiAxc_JBhAbEjAAr9gZSgVhlSplWESw1bxVW_zOzcKw7_xA2PWrT-5Rchg7ZbdBVcOIJPs_o0Y3NKEaArcD&gclid=Cj0KCQiA6NTJBhDEARIsAB7QHD2sf6GiRNcw-mqw1WbSENeEpks9RdnlNONnruRtC5omPsx33VsXlhsaApl-EALw_wcB&gbraid=0AAAAADtppYdDa-9crUozr3PfMKbFdRpmX&wbraid=CkAKCAiAxc_JBhAbEjAAr9gZSgVhlSplWESw1bxVW_zOzcKw7_xA2PWrT-5Rchg7ZbdBVcOIJPs_o0Y3NKEaArcD&loc_interest_ms=&loc_physical_ms=1007232&adtype=pla&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23120818549&gbraid=0AAAAADtppYdDa-9crUozr3PfMKbFdRpmX

So strange - I can’t think that she would coincidentally have the same two decorations that you happen to be missing… have you ever spoken about them to her or mentioned that they are sentimental? It would be very odd for her to home in on actively taking those two and leaving the third?!
One ‘out there’ suggestion- any chance they fell off the tree into a fit bag of theirs or similar? So she thought you had actually gifted them to her?

Is this the other one? https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/127468084070?chn=ps&_ul=GB&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=710-134428-41853-0&mkcid=2&mkscid=101&itemid=127468084070&targetid=2446966182456&device=c&mktype=pla&googleloc=1007232&poi=&campaignid=21697381820&mkgroupid=188145534956&rlsatarget=pla-2446966182456&abcId=10027101&merchantid=113554666&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21697381820&gbraid=0AAAAAD_Lr1dk8cRiotZCCStSslYU7VG03&gclid=Cj0KCQiA6NTJBhDEARIsAB7QHD2HPpMrTc_z3PeE_5rX4h5HPAcZIvarctgVFt0mtup5NrtnbON96k8aAhyzEALw_wcB

SAME!

I reckon your husband gave them to her and now he is strongly in denial because he knows he shouldn't have.

We had those decorations growing up I’m pretty sure they are or were from Woolworths…

If OP is simply going to take them back she needs to not mention and just walk off with them.

But if by some weird coincidence they genuinely weren’t OP’s then she would have mistakenly done what MIL seems to have done; or MIL may have “forgotten” pinching them and be upset that OP has taken her decs. You also can’t be sure she didn’t ask DH (or one of the kids if she has them) - husbands care not a jot for decs so he might not recall.

That’s why personally I’d treat it as if they were lost and you’re so glad MIL found them - and appeal to her better nature to give them back.

I don’t really understand why you didn’t just talk to her at the time. Like a grown up. But since you didn’t, you can do it now, or the next time you see her.

He does agree that it’s strange they have the two missing ones, said to me to just leave it. @ExhaustedPigeon37

Why does he say you should just leave it?

He knows the decorations are important to you and family items that can't be replaced.

He knows it's definitely looking like his parents have your exact decorations.

If he didn't give them away, then one of his parents stole them from you.

And he's saying to just leave it?

I think your DH is lying about not giving them away, and he doesn't want you to ask your mil because his mil will drop him in it.

Or he’s simply forgotten.

No it’s too long, mine are about 15-20cm

I'm wondering if your MIL also had these decs at some point when younger and thought YOU had taken them from her. 😅

I would go with the subtle "oh, there they are, kids must have mixed everything up, I thought they got lost in the move!" narrative.

Is there a chance her gift was under the tree in a gift bag and your decorations fell in to her gift and she thinks they were part of her Xmas present ?

Because I didn't really know what to say!

Not exactly the same but not far off! Could be an option if I go down the route of buying her another one and replacing the HoHoHo one