MIL has stolen my childhood christmas decorations!

[ExhaustedPigeon37]

Hello all,

Bit of a strange one but I think my MIL has stolen my Christmas Decorations!!

They have been in my family since I was small and although they aren’t expensive, nothing special they are just sentimental to me.

We had these three decorations, saying Joy, Noel and Ho Ho Ho with a Santa head on the top. The letters cascade downwards and the Santa has a loop so that you can hang them up. This year I put our decorations up and only found the Joy one. Asked DH and he said he hadn’t seen them, so I only put the Joy one up thinking I’d come across them in another box, I never did.

Fast forward to yesterday when we went over to theirs and they live about an hour away so we stayed for dinner and catch up after DH finished work. MIL was showing us her new decorations and the tree (which is themed red and white). I happened to glance at the bottom of the tree where I saw THE/MY Noel and Ho Ho Ho decorations hanging off of her tree!!! I’ve never seen these decorations at their house before, so the only conclusion I can come to is that they are mine, which is why I couldn’t find them this year!

Asked DH and he said he didn’t notice, asked if he remembers us giving them to her or anything and he said can’t at all. Last year we moved house in

I’m so shocked. What do I do? Do I ask for them back? Do I just leave it? Do I sneak them out when we next go there? DH wanted to stay at home on Boxing Day but I now want to go there to retrieve my decorations (they have been invited on Christmas Day but declined due to the journey and FIL recently having had a knee replacement).

You’ll get them back soon enough

I'm so passive, so if I could afford it, I'd probably buy the ebay ones and then swap them for your sentimental ones. She wouldn't know they were gone, and you would have your real ones back (and mark them as PP have said). Or just take them back and mark them. You have the complete set, so she couldn't really say anything.

I meant when Op saw them on MIL's tree.

Yep, steal and replace with the doppelgänger ! 😆

Do you have photos of your tree from last year - could you pinpoint when they disappeared?

He thinks it will cause tension and wants an easy life. His family have never really welcomed me or DD into their family and it’s been a long slog to just get them to accept us. MIL even told DD in front of 2xDSD when they were 11 and 8 “don’t call me Nanny, I’m not your Nanny”.

You will never get them back if you do that OP.

Just ask for them back. “Oh! I’ve been looking everywhere for those, we must have mixed the boxes when we moved.” Easy.

Because too many people won't speak up and bullies assume the victim will stay quiet.

That doesn't even make sense does it?

If she’s the “I’m not your Nanny” type then I would not be surprised if she took them out of some spiteful suppressed dislike of you. It’s just all too coin.

Your husband’s attitude would really, really piss me off.

Miss Marple!! 😂😂😂 that just killed me off

Your husband’s attitude would really, really piss me off.

Yup!

He thinks it will cause tension and wants an easy life.

So it's ok for his wife to be upset?

They’re more common than you might think

There were thousands of these made and bought, and assuming your in-laws are the same era as your parents, they could have bought them around the same time. Id be very careful about this , are you willing to alienate grandparents from your children over a Christmas decoration?

I am really really annoyed at his reaction.

I think I kind of have a plan anyway, just hoping it’s not too difficult/obvious!

The style of decoration matches similar padded Santa decorations I have. Date back to early 1990’s from BHS (British Home Stores)

No way has MIL only just acquired them. I haven't read the whole thread btw

This is way too big. Mine are small, no bigger than 15-20cm. They are tree decorations but I don’t hang them on my tree, I hang them around the house

Who said anything about alienating them!? 🤦‍♀️

I'd let husband know that you need them back as they're special to you and belong in your family. Up to him how that happens, he can take them off the tree, speak to her etc you don't mind. But if he does none of those, you will be doing it yourself and most definitely not 'leaving it'. I'd say it nicely and not arsey (despite feeling it!), but I would be very firm.

Ignore your spineless husband, nice to know he would never have your back against his own thieving mother isn't it?

Just take FIL's present round and take YOUR Christmas decorations off her tree when the opportunity presents itself, hide them in your bag/about your person and make a swift exit. No fuss, no awkward discussions and denials from MIL, just you retrieving your stolen goods quietly and unobtrusively.

All I remember is that they appeared when I was young. I asked my mum and nan when they came over this morning and they recall buying them in the early 90s but said they bought them from Harrods 🤷‍♀️ I suppose BHS would have had something similar. But I know my ILs have not had anything like this before mine went missing!

I’m usually of the “why don’t people just have a direct conversation?” school of thought. But I’m in “team steal ‘em back” on this one. You can’t accuse her and if you do, she’s likely to deny it. Take a couple of passable substitutes and swap them over. Never mention it to your DH - or anyone else - ever again. And, as others have said, mark them on the back in case it happens again…..

It has, I’m really annoyed at him! He says he doesn’t like confrontation, no one like it but they are mine and I want them back. He has always been a bit spineless and lacking confidence. Even when his mum said that to my DD I was fuming and he didn’t say a thing until I said I’m not having them at my wedding if she doesn’t apologise. She finally did and had made more of an effort since with both DD and I but it’s just so annoying!

Take them back. As people have said, mark them on the back. What I would do is mark all 3 with roughly the year they would have been bought, so they all match.