MIL has stolen my childhood christmas decorations!

[ExhaustedPigeon37]

Hello all,

Bit of a strange one but I think my MIL has stolen my Christmas Decorations!!

They have been in my family since I was small and although they aren’t expensive, nothing special they are just sentimental to me.

We had these three decorations, saying Joy, Noel and Ho Ho Ho with a Santa head on the top. The letters cascade downwards and the Santa has a loop so that you can hang them up. This year I put our decorations up and only found the Joy one. Asked DH and he said he hadn’t seen them, so I only put the Joy one up thinking I’d come across them in another box, I never did.

Fast forward to yesterday when we went over to theirs and they live about an hour away so we stayed for dinner and catch up after DH finished work. MIL was showing us her new decorations and the tree (which is themed red and white). I happened to glance at the bottom of the tree where I saw THE/MY Noel and Ho Ho Ho decorations hanging off of her tree!!! I’ve never seen these decorations at their house before, so the only conclusion I can come to is that they are mine, which is why I couldn’t find them this year!

Asked DH and he said he didn’t notice, asked if he remembers us giving them to her or anything and he said can’t at all. Last year we moved house in

I’m so shocked. What do I do? Do I ask for them back? Do I just leave it? Do I sneak them out when we next go there? DH wanted to stay at home on Boxing Day but I now want to go there to retrieve my decorations (they have been invited on Christmas Day but declined due to the journey and FIL recently having had a knee replacement).

Absolutely do not ask her. If she has stolen them she will lie. If she hasn’t stolen them she will be angry. Either way you will not get your decorations back. You can either let her keep them or you can steal them back. I’d do the latter and take a couple of hers as compensation 😁

So just asked DH again, he is adamant he wouldn’t have given them to his parents and has gone to have a look in the decoration boxes, confirmed they are not in there.

I’m so tempted to message her and just ask but DH says I shouldn’t approach the situation at all and says to just leave it. I asked if he had seen them before at his parents and he said no he doesn’t but he really pay any attention to other peoples tree or decorations. I said to him would you not recognise that we have the same ones? Which he has said no. He agrees that he would have probably noticed if we had the same ones as kids.

He has absolutely no idea how or why they would have them.

He does agree that it’s strange they have the two missing ones, said to me to just leave it.

I was going to say something like “Hi MIL, thanks for a lovely afternoon and evening yesterday. I noticed on your tree you have two hanging decorations that say HoHoHo and Noel with Santa at the top. Just wondering how you came about these? I had exactly the same, I was given a set of three (Joy, HoHoHo and Noel) from my mum a few years ago as she bought them in the 90s from Harrods and was having a decoration clear out. (Will also send a picture) However I’ve noticed that two of mine are missing (Noel and HoHoHo) so I’m just wondering if DH gave them to you by accident? If not and you bought them from somewhere, please can you tell me where so I can hopefully replace the two missing ones?”

Thanks to everyone suggesting buying new ones from Etsy or EBay but they won’t be the same. I’m just feeling confused, a bit upset and frustrated and just can’t put my finger on how they have come to have them!

Such bizarre behaviour.

Sounds like she stole them last Christmas when you weren’t around.

Will you be taking them back? I would

Buy ones that look as close as possible to yours.

Substitute them next time you go there.

Yes buy similar from Etsy/wherever. Just swap them with yours so you have the originals back.

It makes it the perfect “crime”

It is part of a set of three and she has the very two that the OP has lost! They also won’t be available now if from childhood.

One thing I wouldn't do is "just leave it" as your DH is saying to do.

I agree with PPs, take them back and mark them so that you know for sure if it ever happens again.

How odd. My exMIL tried multiple times to keep the best toys + outfits at hers, I had to constantly rescue stuff back and eventually had to tell my partner at the time to tell her to stop. It was awkward as hell.

No because I don’t usually put them on the tree. I have them around the house hanging off the garland up the stairs, the windows or just random places where there are decorations etc.

Is she of the same generation as your parents? Is it not possible that they were for sale in Woolworths at the same time? Given there’s no precedent here it seems very strange.

I think it's too big of a coincidence to be a coincidence, honestly. The fact that there were three different ones, and you now have only one and she suddenly has only the other two... I mean, what are the chances of that? If I could find a way to do it, I'd definitely steal them back and never say a word. Asking her about them will only put her on her guard and make it obvious that you took them back, if you ever do.

The bigger problem is what this means about her for the future. She's either having some sort of mental problems or she can no longer be trusted in your home without someone keeping an eye on her.

Occams razor.
Take them back. Dont “leave it” as DH suggests. He just wants an easy life

The likelihood they fell off the tree and into her bag or your teenage dc said oh sure grandma take those while she admired them is nil. Also didn’t you just feel they were yours! Recognize them immediately?

I do agree with PP that it raises serious questions about trusting MIL in your house in the future.
make a special trip and get them. Can you go yourself and say MIL these are definetly mine and I’m taking them back home with me. Hard to do but likely the least passive way of handling it.

I agree with taking them back without saying anything, but I'm not sure they will be on the tree next time you visit.

He or she had possibly forgotten where they had stolen them from. Seeing you and the decorations together might have triggered their memory, so they will be more discreet next time you visit.

Or they might be brazenly on display as a big F U, considering the further background you provided.

Maybe she had the same when your DH was little and mislaid them. Then saw ‘them’ in your tree and decided to have them back. She was almost caught sneaking them off your tree last year and had to abandon Joy….

Hope you’ve sent that message!

Why should she ‘buy her something similar’?

I’m a bit at some of the posters on here defending the stealing. If you’re at someone else’s house, you keep your hands off their stuff. It’s a universal moral. What kind of a freak steals Christmas decorations?

The OP has said that the MIL doesn’t like her. I’d keep away from her from now on tbh.

I’d send the picture of the one you’ve got and say something like ‘hi Mil, I’ve lost two decorations that match this and I’ve just seen them on your tree, you must have accidentally picked them up last year! I’ll pick them up next time we’re over. Thanks for having us’

She definitely took them as they fit with her theme of red and white. Given you dot them round the house, she obviously didn’t spot the joy one last year

Why don’t you ask her where they’re from. Explain to her that you had a set of 3 of huge sentimental value but you’ve lost 2 in the move and would love to replace them. She may offer them to you, but if not, she can tell you where they’re from so you can purchase replacements.
It’s more likely that she likes these on your tree and spotted them out whilst shopping. But it’s not impossible that she has ‘acquired’ yours.

This seems the best bet!

This ⬆️⬆️

They're from Primark years ago. So will be lots of them about. Be careful!

She’ll just say she can’t remember. You can’t engage in any meaningful way with people who do bizarre stuff and who are dishonest.

They’re not - the OP’s mother bought them from Harrods in the 90s.