Is it really rude to ask family to give your dc money for Christmas?

[FellLucia]

I think it is, Dp thinks it isn’t.

Our eldest has asked for just money for Christmas. I was going to buy them a small amount of gifts and money in a card. Dp however, has gone out and bought them a main present (can’t be returned as personalized) Obviously, dc will be grateful for the gift but it means they now won’t be able to buy what they wanted with the money.

Dp has had the idea that we should ask family for money instead. Dc is at a tricky age and people have said they are finding them hard to buy for.

Do you think it would be rude to suggest they give money? Dp thinks it will be saving them hassle of finding a gift and preferred by dc. I feel embarrassed to suggest it.

If people ask me what my kids want, I'll say money. You either know them well enough to know what they want or ask them themselves and if you don't, money is great. I wouldn't expect to gift someone money, if I had a gift in mind for them though.

Totally fine - everyone prefers it.

I would love it if the kids I buy for (thankfully adult present buying stopped) wanted money. I give the teenagers vouchers now automatically anyway. I remember getting presents as a kid from family and family friends that were completely not to my liking (things like arts and crafts, and science kits) that never got opened and I don't want to be that gifter.
Obviously it depends on your family though, as some people are highly strung and particular.

Not rude at all. Sensible actually and much easier for the gifter

Nope! It saves buying shit they don't want. As the buyer, id prefer that.

No, its not rude at all- why on earth would it be?

At that age I would far rather save up and buy something I really want rather than be given something I can unwrap but dont really want or need.

Heck, even now money is a far better gift than something someone else thinks I want but I dont really!

Surely its far less wasteful to put money towards something you know the person really wants

I definitely think parents demanding money for little kids is definitely rude, thats not a gift for a child really and rubs people up the wrong way. However sounds like your talking about a teen which is more like an adult than a little kid when it comes to 'gifts'.

I wouldn't personally 'ask' for money but I do think by the teen years its far more common for more distant family (like aunts/uncles etc...) to just bung a £20 in a card if they are going to do anything rather than buy a physical present. If asked I would probably just say 'I don't think he really needs anything, hes at the awkward age' and leave it up to them.

I think if it's "DS is saving for X itam, and would be really grateful if you contribute towards it" would be fine. Personally I do find it a bit cold when it's more "doesn't know what he wants" so just asking for money to go in the bank.

It's fine asking family for something DC is saving up for.

I think it is fine for the wider family to give money rather than a present if they don't know what to get them or what sort of things they are into, don't get much in the way of gift ideas etc. That way, the child or teenager can buy something they want with it or put it towards something they are saving up for.

My kids preferred money from about 10ish. I did too as it stopped all the plastic tat that got thrown out by mid January!

Once they are teens it can be better to give money if that’s what they want. For younger ones I think the thrill of seeing an actual gift to unwrap can be more exciting.

Certainly not rude in my family. It's known as a Slim Present.

"What would [niece/nephew] like for Christmas?"
"[Niece/nephew] would probably appreciate a 'slim present' this year."