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Christmas

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Original poster

Is it really rude to ask family to give your dc money for Christmas?

63 replies

FellLucia · 06/12/2025 08:04

I think it is, Dp thinks it isn’t.

Our eldest has asked for just money for Christmas. I was going to buy them a small amount of gifts and money in a card. Dp however, has gone out and bought them a main present (can’t be returned as personalized) Obviously, dc will be grateful for the gift but it means they now won’t be able to buy what they wanted with the money.

Dp has had the idea that we should ask family for money instead. Dc is at a tricky age and people have said they are finding them hard to buy for.

Do you think it would be rude to suggest they give money? Dp thinks it will be saving them hassle of finding a gift and preferred by dc. I feel embarrassed to suggest it.

OP posts:
Original poster
FellLucia · 06/12/2025 08:05

Also, it is my family that we would be asking so would fall on me to do so.

OP posts:
HedgeWitchOfTheWest · 06/12/2025 08:08

I think it’s fine, but better if it’s asking for money towards some specific high value item.

(Disclaimer: my social skills aren’t always on point, I may be off the mark here)

Humanswarm · 06/12/2025 08:08

Well often people end up asking what to get for other people's dc. To say money as the are saving for something specific I think is fine!

Rocknrollstar · 06/12/2025 08:08

a few years ago teenage GD wanted a new phone so we all happily gave her money instead of gifts. What is the problem? I didn’t have to shop and she got what she wanted. See it, say it, sorted.

Lennonjingles · 06/12/2025 08:10

It’s fine to say to people that DC is saving up for something big and would really appreciate money for Christmas, but if they would rather buy a gift that’s ok.

DarkForces · 06/12/2025 08:10

If she wants something specific I'd say it's for money towards her savings for that. I'd also be pissed off ar dh buying her a present she doesn't want for her main present and actually discount it from the pile and give her money instead. Does he usually override her wishes?

Anxietybummer · 06/12/2025 08:11

I think it’s fine. I’ve been giving money since my nieces were 10. They prefer pick their own clothes and accessories and I understand that. Not been an issue for me,

If they ask, just suggest it, doesn’t mean they have to do it:

MogsChristmasBoiledEgg · 06/12/2025 08:13

If you feel really awkward, could they give the personalised present and you give the money? (I know a bit silly as they’re just transferring cash to you…)

I personally think it’s fine, I always had money once I was past toys stage. My grandparents used to give me cash and buy me a couple of stocking filler type things (mainly because my Gran liked shopping!)

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 06/12/2025 08:17

We happily gift money to nieces and nephews, and my children’s aunts, uncles and grandparents happily do the same in return. It’s normally money and a sweetie or money and a pair of pyjamas etc.

I would be upset at DH ordering the gift though and if the budget allowed I would make the gift on top of the money I would have otherwise given.

ShodAndShadySenators · 06/12/2025 08:18

My DS has been getting money from his relatives since he was pre-teen, as he is difficult to buy for. (This is Christmas and birthday!) None of my family or DH's have minded this at all as it saves them the stress of finding a suitable present - they don't want to buy him something that isn't going to hit the mark. He has always thanked them very nicely for their generosity and thoughtfulness.

My mum gets him Premium Bonds now, and a small tub of Heroes or Celebrations so he still has a physical gift to unwrap (he's not bothered about this but it makes my mum feel better). You could suggest something like this, a monetary gift and a token present if they'd like to?

teddybearsbear · 06/12/2025 08:18

Absolutely fine but agree with pp that "dc is saving for X so would love a contribution towards that" is a better option

As a gift giver I would much rather give money if I knew they were saving for something than struggle for ideas and buy for the sake of it

Mum3354 · 06/12/2025 08:19

My nephew and niece ask for money. I don't mind. They go out Boxing Day and choose things.

Kelvinator1 · 06/12/2025 08:22

I was delighted when our nieces & nephews reached an age we could give cash instead of trying to think of a gift they might like/didn't already have

Ilovemychocolate · 06/12/2025 08:49

My dd is now 21 and has been asking for money since the age of about 12!
It’s much more exciting to receive money than presents.
If your family have kids, they will all understand.

euff · 06/12/2025 08:49

I don't think it’s a problem if you are being asked for present ideas. I would feel better not worrying about my gift missing the mark.

Whichone2024 · 06/12/2025 08:57

Yeh that’s fine. Everybody gives money/gift cards to my gamer nephew so he can buy games he wants when they come out and I have neices in art school and make up college who we usually gift money or gift cards to so they can buy what they want. (If gift cards it will be where we know they want to buy something).
soemtimes we will add a gift if we know it’s something they would get or find useful anyway but I do think it’s fine to ask for money

readingmakesmehappy · 06/12/2025 09:00

I think it’s easier to say “they’d really love a gift card for x or y store so they can buy something in the sales” would be an easier way of framing it.

StillFeelingTired · 06/12/2025 09:03

I think money is fine. I was into horses and loved money because it meant I could enter for a show or not worry about the livery bill for a bit. DS 1 is always saving for an apple product or a game. I’d rather that than stuff that takes up space and is unwanted.

Andromed1 · 06/12/2025 09:04

Say that dd is saving for x and y and would love a small contribution. Its fine.

TidyDancer · 06/12/2025 10:17

I think if you’re asked for ideas then it’s fine to say, I wouldn’t say if I wasn’t asked though. Some people plan and buy presents months in advance.

MeganM3 · 06/12/2025 10:20

No I think I it’s really normal.
Most people in our family give gift vouchers to the kids, sometimes cash. They prefer it if they’re over the age of about 8 and have their own ideas about things they like.
It might be easier to suggest a voucher rather than cash.

CeeJay81 · 06/12/2025 10:29

It's not rude at all. My 16 year old would prefer money towards a bigger item that just a pile of bits he doesn't want. So we often just ask my brother and dad for money. We say what the bigger item is to the though. This year its money towards a computer monitor.

illsendansostotheworld · 06/12/2025 10:42

HedgeWitchOfTheWest · 06/12/2025 08:08

I think it’s fine, but better if it’s asking for money towards some specific high value item.

(Disclaimer: my social skills aren’t always on point, I may be off the mark here)

Actually I think you are spot on.

TwotierChriatmas · 06/12/2025 10:44

I think it's the gift of the gods 🤣 you can have total freedom and liberty to buy what you want

My favourite parts of Xmas a child was seeing if relatives had put a fiver ,tenner or twenty into a card !

I have an old bachelor uncle who doesn't like shopling much has no idea what to get two tween girls I tell him I struggle as well

Money in a card. He won't say outright he doesn't like that and we go around the houses in long tortured conversations about it. I want to scream by the ...show them the money ! Give them the bloody money !! Guaranteed success !!

NotThisAgainPart74 · 06/12/2025 10:45

It's not rude if they ask you what you'd like.

It is rude to just ask for money without them asking you.