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Christmas

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Original poster

Is it really rude to ask family to give your dc money for Christmas?

63 replies

FellLucia · 06/12/2025 08:04

I think it is, Dp thinks it isn’t.

Our eldest has asked for just money for Christmas. I was going to buy them a small amount of gifts and money in a card. Dp however, has gone out and bought them a main present (can’t be returned as personalized) Obviously, dc will be grateful for the gift but it means they now won’t be able to buy what they wanted with the money.

Dp has had the idea that we should ask family for money instead. Dc is at a tricky age and people have said they are finding them hard to buy for.

Do you think it would be rude to suggest they give money? Dp thinks it will be saving them hassle of finding a gift and preferred by dc. I feel embarrassed to suggest it.

OP posts:
JDM625 · 06/12/2025 12:54

Could you ask them the buy the gift that the kids want, or is it a significant cost and more than they'd spend?

I have an 11yr and 15yr old relatives and I buy gift vouchers. They've never asked for cash outright, but do tell me the shops they like to buy things at.

Crochetandtea · 06/12/2025 13:22

It’s absolutely fine and makes sense. Mine always got money when they were older and tbh most of it went into their isa.
Only thing to check is if they have already bought gifts for this year.

RoamingToaster · 06/12/2025 13:40

I think it’s fine to suggest but obviously be grateful if they don’t do that and buy a gift instead.

ThisZanyPinkSquid · 06/12/2025 17:30

If they ask what they want then say ‘they would like….so money towards that would be nice’ but if they don’t ask then it’s rude.

Purplevelvets · 06/12/2025 17:34

I'd have the conversation. DC would like money towards xyz, how do you feel about that?

Presumably this is your close family, so I wouldn't second guess, I'd ask.

Sassylovesbooks · 06/12/2025 17:41

Once children get to a certain age, they usually want vouchers or money. I don't see an issue asking relatives for either. Surely it's far better for your child to receive money, than gifts they don't want or like? Having said that my son received an Entertainer gift voucher from a relative (they didn't check with us beforehand) and he was 12! It's a shop for children that still play with toys, and my son didn't. It was a waste.

WellyBellyBoo · 06/12/2025 17:51

It's fine but with my relatives they usually want to buy something for them to open so I usually suggest a low value thing like toiletries, water bottle, stationery or chocs and then they give the rest as cash.

Purplevelvets · 06/12/2025 17:55

When my nephews first got to the age of wanting cash, I'd buy some sweets, a book or toiletries and wrap actual cash up with it, so they had a present to open. Now I send the cash to their bank, and a WhatsApp to say happy birthday check your bank 🤣

AnneElliott · 06/12/2025 17:59

I think it’s fine if they ask you. I wouldn’t proactively indicate they want money but most of my relatives will ask what DS wants and I’ll then say he’d welcome money as he’s going away/ saving for x etc

ThatKhakiLeader · 06/12/2025 18:04

My kids have asked inlaws for money or gift voucher the past few years. I have no problems with it but my mil hates it and will just go out and buy them something they dont want instead. She has to see them opening something.
I think its such a waste as it will sit on the shelf till I donate it away.
They are at an age where items they'd like are either slightly more expensive so want to save towards, or they'd like a gift card so they can use it later on in the year.

mondaytosunday · 06/12/2025 18:09

Yes it’s fine. My sisters now give my son money as that’s what he really wants!

user1471538275 · 06/12/2025 18:09

Technically, it's rude to ask for any gift.

Realistically you know that they are going to offer some sort of gift.

I would have thought money would have come better from yourselves and the gift from others.

It does really vary according to families so how do you think your family will feel about it?

TheMorgenmuffel · 06/12/2025 18:10

If the person has asked what your child would like then no its not rude.

If they've said nothing and you ring them up and say hi there, X wants cash for christmas then yes, rude.

MisunderstoodisanUnderstatment · 06/12/2025 18:41

I always think it is a good idea when people put money in one of those money wallets, and attach it to a wrapped box of chocolates or e something. Op, I bet they'll prefer it, as easier for them! I agree with others, they've asked you, so it is fine to specify money.

KeepYaHeadUp · 06/12/2025 18:45

I don’t think it would be rude at all, assuming it wouldn’t be unusual in your family to specify a gift you’d like. Family are likely keen to get the kids something they want (esp the older ones). We often say when asked that DC are saving for something so would really love the cash

KeepYaHeadUp · 06/12/2025 18:46

Oh I meant to say it’s usually given in a card but my SIL got a puzzle cube one year. The money was inside and my son had to solve the puzzle to open the box and get the money. That was fun

AhBiscuits · 06/12/2025 18:53

I think it's ok but Christmas is less than 3 weeks away, they've probably already sorted the gift.

Summergarden · 06/12/2025 19:39

From about age 10 or so when they’re into fewer but more expensive things it makes sense, but from a very young age it does look grabby.

Dogmum1983 · 06/12/2025 19:43

I think it’s a bit late to be asking this now 3 weeks before Christmas . Most people have already sorted presents . Maybe next year ask in September / early October before people go to the effort of shopping and picking up bits .

HolyMoly24 · 06/12/2025 19:46

I think it’s absolutely fine, and I would not mind at all if nieces/nephews requested this.

I know that my family don’t like to give money as a gift though and they would ask for something physical to hand over instead.

suburberphobe · 06/12/2025 19:48

I personally have given up buying and giving Christmas presents to anyone.

Everyone I know has a house full of stuff, a bottle of nice wine or non-alcoholic drink will do.

People get into debt for it while struggling with COL and it ends up in landfill anyway.

Still think kids should enjoy the magic of Christmas though! Presents for them, yes!

user1471453601 · 06/12/2025 19:51

I don't think it's rude, but I think it has to be handled carefully.

my Nephew asked for money for his two. He was explicit, it was to take the children to see the Nut cracker in the New year. I was happy to do this.

in return (not that I needed a return) they sent me photos of the children having a great time.c

so i would be specific about what your child wants to spend the money on.

LighthouseLED · 06/12/2025 19:56

I think it’s fine if someone asks what they want.

I think it’s slightly odd that your DP got a personalised gift when your DC asked for money - will they actually want the gift, or will they be disappointed (even if they are too well-mannered to show it)? I think it’s a shame if your DP’s choice means that your DC misses out on something they really want.

VoltaireMittyDream · 06/12/2025 19:59

In my family it’s not rude. Most people give money (or Robux 🙄). We’re not very festive by MN standards though!

Ghostsghoulsteenagers · 06/12/2025 20:03

Yes defo normal to want money - don’t worry just ask and say what they are saving for

How old are they ? I’d be more worried about a personalised gift to be honest