I need 4 more cracker jokes…

[CurlewKate]

….my brain is fried! I’d like them to be bad but slightly different-my favourites of the 16 I’ve got already are What’s red and stands in the corner? A naughty strawberry and I was going to make an alligator stew but I’ve only got a croc pot. So my bar is very low!

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Doug
What do you call a man without a spade in his head? Douglas My grandson found it funny anyway.

What is red and invisible? No tomato.

How do you titilate an ocelot? Oscillate its titalot.

What is brown and sticky? - A stick!

Q. What do cannibals do at a wedding?
A. Toast the bride.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Woolly jumpers
What do you get if you cross and elephant with a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia

What do you call a man with leaves up his bum? Russell!
Whats the difference between a snow man and a snow woman? Snow balls!
And my favourite-did you hear about the mummy they unearthed that was covered in nuts and chocolate? It was a pharaoh rocher!

Q: What's yellow and dangerous?
A: Shark-infested custard.

A) look under there
B) under where?
A) haha, I just made you say underwear

i have three primary aged boys

What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence? Time to fix the fence! My 5 year olds favourite joke

What's the only type of bagel that can fly?

A plain bagel!

I love elephant jokes!

How do you know when there's an elephant under your bed?

Your nose touches the ceiling.

1. did you hear about the magical tractor? It turned into a field…

2. theres a new movie out about a tractor. I haven’t seen it yet I’ve only seen the trailer

How do you annoy Lady Gaga?

Poke her face

I got this in a fever tree cracker....

It's not my fault I have a double chin. When God was giving out chins. I thought he said Gin, so I said 'I'll have a double.'

What's an orthodox Jew's favourite musical genre?

Hasid House.

What do you call a woman with a coat on her head?

Peg

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?
Deep pan, crisp and even...

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose.

What do you get if you cross a duck with an avocado?

Quackamole.

Why does the squirrel swim on its back?
to keep its nuts dry.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she wasn't peeling very well...

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister Matic

Who looks after poorly elves?

The National Elf Service

What's pink and hard?

A pig with a flick knife.

How does an elephant hide in a tree?
He paints his toenails red so they look like cherries.

But I've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree!
Well that shows you what a good disguise it is