Time for a worst/most bizarre Christmas present thread

[pinkksugarmouse]

Ex DH and I separated on good terms and the first Christmas exchanged gifts in front of our 12yr old DDD.To show we were friends. He got me 2 lush bath bombs. Now I have life long Rheumatoid Arthritis and haven't been able to use a bath since I was a child. We'd been married for 14yrs. We'd lived in a place with a walk in shower due to my arthritis. I wasn't upset just baffled.

A piece of wood with Jesus head papermachee on it.

From my sister who had made it herself. I did not attend church nor had any religious symbols on display.

Still felt odd to put Jesus in the bin..

An ugly crab. It's around 20cm.

🙄 As in, it had already been well used and was dirty. Who are you, the thought police?

Last year, my birthday - I got a call from my DF asking me to meet him in the pub, lovely, I get there, my DM nowhere to be seen, turns out she was having her nails done and DF was bored sitting in the pub on his own, no mention of my birthday. DM arrives from salon, asks DF did he get the new loo roll holder? Yes he did, she takes one look and shouts at him that its the worst one she has ever seen, its total crap and he has to take it back to B&M, He is mighty pissed off, throws the loo roll holder over the table to me and says 'you have it, I cant be bothered to take it back, it was only £3' Still no mention of my birthday, I ask DM if she has a card for me? 'oh bugger, I forgot it was today, but at least you have a present' 😂

They are elderly, doolally, lovable (just)

One christmas, the dear old parentals ask me if I would like tickets to see Cats? They have bought 2 tickets and now cant go, I really fucking hate musicals and especially Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals, they know this! Anyway, the tickets are quite expensive and I do have a friend who would love to see it, so rather than waste them I take friend to see it. Yes, you guessed it, christmas morning, I slave away in the kitchen cooking for 12, no present for me as 'I had tickets to see cats'😂

A wooden chopping board from current dp.

Not sure what how to approach it with him not to do that again without sounding ungrateful. He's extremely generous in other ways. Just not good at presents.

He's a man. I expect he probably didn't really know what he was buying (even with the giveaway word 'bath' in the name). He just thought it was something pretty from that smelly shop that lots of young women seem to like. I've only been in the shop once but I was so overcome by the fumes I may well have bought the wrong thing!

I expect you're allowed to wear hunting socks even when you're not hunting. I've got some walking socks and they don't disintegrate when I sit down.

I'm in my 60's and regularly used to receive the 'bottom drawer' gifts when I was young. You were meant to put them away and keep them until you married and had your own house. Unfortunately, not every nine year old has enough storage space...

I think my worst ever Christmas gifts were: my XP, who I had asked for a dressing gown. His response was 'you don't need one' (I did) and to give me several stuffed owls. He was on the spectrum and knew I liked owls, so...to him it was a no-brainer.

And my XH who bought me a dustbuster hoover one year (I don't think it was Christmas, it was either birthday or wedding anniversary). It was to 'help you clean the stairs'. He never lifted a finger to do housework, so I suspect he thought it was a great present.

This is wonderful 😂 Poor old Jesus, what an ignominious end 😂

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat , that's lovely about the bottom drawer! I would have thought old fashioned in the 70s though (I'm having a wild stab at when you were born so could well be wrong!)

My MIL bought me some very racy knickers from Paris once as a suprise.

We were hosting christmas for both sides of the family so I ended up opening them in front of my Dad. 😳

It's my birthday soon, and I've actually asked for a metal/wooden double sided chopping board. I think I redeemed myself with the other requests though!

You can have mine if you like.

I would never want kitchen appliances or aids as gifts.

Yes! Usually from my DMs aunts/older generation friends.

Bath cubes were a regular, do they still make them I wonder? As pp said, the soaps with pictures on. A pomander (sp?) to hang in my wardrobe - just what every primary age kid wants 🤣.

What did kind of irritate me as I got older was the givers in question were becoming too old to get out and about to buy things themselves so would send their younger relatives, in their 20s/30s. I have no idea why they’d go shopping and think “Ah, bath cubes and talc, perfect for Waney who is 10.”

Some of my DMs friends also used to buy me makeup as I got older. However, they always chose quantity over quality. In the family there were 5 people who bought for me, I’d rather they’d have all chucked in and bought me say, one Urban Decay palette, or even a £20 voucher that I could use towards something I really liked. What I got was all cheap, chalky stuff from the market. You know, 40 colours of eyeshadow for a fiver. I’d actually rather they didn’t give anything as it all went to waste anyway 😔.

These are so long and so thick, it would be a struggle to get them under a trouser leg!

There was the year DM wrapped up a box of cling film for my Christmas present. Admittedly it was one of the posh bigger boxes from Lakeland but as she had said she was going to pay for our Disney tickets I was somewhat bemused.

My gran's second husband bought my cousin and I a pair of American Tan tights each for Christmas. He had never bought us anything for Christmas or birthdays so we were mystified as to why.

I'd say bath cubes have evolved into bath bombs, but it's bath pearls and bath oil you don't see anymore. Maybe because people have realised that sitting in a bath of water and making the surfaces a slippery death trap means you're trapped there for eternity, or need outside assistance to support you in getting out.

My dad is a bit useless at buying presents. Mum died five years ago, and she was pretty good at picking presents, it's just not really his skill though he means well. Last year he got my sister a book written by the Hoof GP - a guy who trims cow's feet and makes youtube videos on it. She likes watching the videos sometimes in a "pimple popping" kind of way, not sure she wants to read an entire book about his life! I got a soup bowl and plate gift set, which is fine but doesn't fit in my cupboard where I already have a range of different sized bowls and plates.

And I’m sorry but most charity shops do have a “foisty” smell. And I love a charity shop. We went in one in Wells where the bloke running it was liberally spraying Pledge which he admitted was to keep any such smell at bay.

a pair of bright yellow and red clown shoes. From a joke shop - they were absolutely huge and the idea was that you pop them over your normal shoes

I don’t have an interest in clowns or their shoes btw and had never once uttered the word ‘clown’ to this person.

My lovely and very generous DF bought a gin advent calender each for my sister and I some years ago. I was pregnant and due on Boxing Day 🤣

My mother has a bedroom filled with tat that she buys from charity shops and car boot sales

When a birthday or Christmas pops up,she just snatches the first thing that comes to hand (or she used to-im now nc with her,my golden child brothers got lovely,well thought out gifts)

Classics include
Katie price knock off perfume (half full)
Snowball shaped candles
Eye gel that was so old the product had long gone
A blanket with sleeves-with the previous owners dinner down the front in a salmon pink colour
Cheap,non branded make up (the sort that would bring you out in a rash)
Half a packet of peanuts
Wine/fake baileys (I dont drink)
Bath salts/bath bombs/cubes/pearls/oils-i didnt have a bath
Some dishwasher gadget that made it smell nice-i didnt have a dishwasher
Granny knickers 5 sizes too big
Moth eaten jumpers 2 sizes too small
Clothes she'd bought for herself but changed her mind (I was a size 14 and she was a size 30)
Slippers,when just went to pick them up,the sole fell off
A cracked fruit bowl
Soap that brought me out in a rash and didnt lather
A handbag that had two used san-pro in the pocket and a ripped lining
A bottle of half used shower gel
A lush knock off set of smellies (i dont like lush and these where awful)
A broken hair clip-i had short hair at the time
Limescale remover for the toilet
A vhs player that smoked when I plugged it in
A freeview player with a missing remote-you could only use it via the remote
Teddy bears-i dont like teddy bears
A sewing box where the lid fell off as soon as I went to use it-the hinges where so old,they'd rusted and snapped

(She used to buy the kids knock offs of whatever they where into-i'll never forget the 'ratty teddy' dd got instead of a tatty teddy and the 'rob the builder' scooter that snapped on the first go on it)

Ill never forget the year my brothers got mountain bikes that cost hundreds of pounds and I got a vanity case that was falling to bits and stank to high heaven

I'm not hard to buy for,nor am i greedy-a cross stitch kit or some earrings would have been lovely

Somewhere in her narcissistic brain,this was forgotten

Id rather she just hadn't bothered-it was all a waste of money

But God forbid you ever binned any of this-she'd find out (she'd pump the kids for information) and hold it against you forever if you didnt keep it

Dp once bought and wrapped up a tiny box

I shook it and asked if it was earrings and he smirked and said 'maybe' so i saved it till last

Fucking toothpicks

The Xmas before last, my DM bought all the "girls" in the family a snood. Me, my 2 DDs (one adult, one teen), and my 2 DILs. All got something else with it, and my extra was Ferrero Rocher.

I do not wear hats or scarves, and never have done. In fact DM has commented in the past on many occasions that I don't wear hats. I have only just chucked out, unopened, the last snood she bought me a number of years ago. I also can't abide Ferrero Rocher, and never have done. It is her favourite sweet and every time she offers them to me I tell her I don't like them, and don't eat them.

I was so upset by the total lack of thought that went into it. It's the sort of gift you give a colleague you don't know very well, not your only DD you have known for 6 decades. I had gone out of my way to get her something she really liked, as I do every year.

Hahaha I'm only in my 20s but both my Nana's used to be just like this when I was young 😂😂 I only chucked some of them out when I left home, no idea how they had survived for so long