Am I a Scrooge? (Presents for adults)

[TeaAndCock]

I don’t want to receive or buy anything anymore for the adults, it all feels so pointless, a hassle and a waste of money. Happy to buy for kids, teens, young adults - who don’t have the cash to readily spend on what they want. I’m trying to buy less material shit, I don’t care if I’ve got nothing under the tree. I’ve suggested to family on my side that we stop the secret Santa for adults (£100) but it’s not gone down well so I guess others enjoy it. Anyone else feel like this or am I totally joyless and lacking in festive spirit?!

Just because others like it, it doesn't mean you can't say no gifts please. You don't need to impose it on your family.

I'm with you OP. But like you, I'm not sure the rest of the family will agree.

I feel this way. I think most of the gifts I buy for adults go unused. The only person I’m interested in getting anything for is my mum because she never treats herself. All the other adults in my life but what they want for themselves and don’t need me trying to get them what they want on my budget and missing the mark.

Im exactly the same. Im trying to clear my house of stuff and im consciously not buying more things so if I do buy for someone it has to be able to be used like beauty products or food etc. Id rather stop all together x

Oh god I’m so with you op, i buy for a large amount of adults all with a decent disposable income who could buy what they want for themselves. I’m in the same position and I absolutely hate ‘stuff’ cluttering up my house.
Luckily I don’t receive many presents these days but I still buy a lot of presents, mainly ‘from the dc’ as people buy for them.
Life would be so much simpler if everyone just said to stop and we could all agree but I don’t want to be the mean spirited person to suggest it so every year it rumbles on!

Nope, I totally agree with you, OP - my wider family won’t even consider Secret Santa so I end up buying / receiving a LOT of unnecessary “things” which inevitably also leave me feeling somewhat sad that people really don’t know me and my likes / dislikes very well - and I’d say I’m pretty open / obvious to buy for…
So, if people think you’re being Scroogy - I’ll happily join your gang!

I told my brothers and friends i wasn't doing gifts last year, also opted out of secret santa, very liberating, it just took a load of stress off.

Totally agree with you OP. The threads on here asking for ideas for presents just sums up how people have no idea what to buy for people who already have all they want and need.

A couple of years ago I'd had enough and spoke to family and friends about this. With one exception (a cousin) everyone heaved a collective sigh of relief and now we don't do presents, just have a lovely experience (theatre or a meal, something like that) instead

This year the cousin has asked to opt out too.

We do the same for birthdays too. Honestly the relief is immense. We enjoy the run up to Christmas now without all the bloody shopping and consumerism.

It's like once you see through it, you really can't go back.

I feel the same op.
Christmas is stressful enough without having to buy and receive a load of presents

Glad it’s not just me and yes the liberation from thinking about the gifts is a gift in itself. 😆

Totally with you. I just buy for young family members, not adults.

£100 for adult gifts for the wider family? Fuck me - that's my budget for DH!
Totally outing but my BIL are getting a Christmas washing up sponge to open under the tree - £1.50. As PP, they are adults with very decent incomes and they can buy themselves whatever they want - but I doubt they would buy themselves a novelty sponge. It's something to open on Christmas day and hopefully they also use it!
If you are feeling generous, there are matching washing up gloves and tea towels.
Christmas sponge set

I generally feel the same. Love buying for kids, but I don't generally like buying for adults, unless they are parents/partners/siblings. (And even then it can be hard)

For example, I have an uncle that I have to buy a present for. He doesn't want anything, especially not whatever I can buy for him - I barely see him any more. I know 100% that if just me and him sat down and were honest, neither of us want to give each other gifts.

But that is the culture of gift giving in my family. It is normally a men problem, because the women/wives buy the gifts - the men don't actually "give" anything, but you still need to buy something for them.

Where I don't agree though, is that your family is already doing the solution that I wished my family did - some type of secret santa, where we all get a little funny gift, but it is just one thing to buy. That sounds like heaven to me, compared to having to buy for each adult.

I currently non contact with my brother, partly (a very small part) because of his Xmas presents to me.

I used to love art and crafts but then I developed arthritis stopping me doing most craft things.

So over the years my brother has bought me

Fimo
An adult colouring book
A ukulele
A soft toy sewing kit
A huge paperback book, actually more than one - I can't hold a large book to read so I read on my kindle.

Apart from the ukulele the presents are like someone kicking me and saying, "look what else you can't do any more".

With the books it is such a hassle to send them back and then get the Kindle version (if it is something I'm interested in).

And he always sends things via Amazon, I have a wish list on Amazon.

I know I sound ungrateful but honestly it was so much stress.

I agree with you OP. You can have a nice joyful Christmas without adults exchanging stuff that most of them don't want or need.

But can't you just opt out of Secret Santa? It doesn't affect the others if you don't take part as they all still buy and receive one gift that's cost them £100. The only difference is there's one fewer person in the 'circle'.

I agree that gifts for adults are a waste of money plus potentially landfill.

Just buy things like expensive olive oil, chocolate, plants, perfume they wear - so you’re buying things people will actually use - not clutter and tat 🤷🏻‍♀️

We do a secret Santa one gift for adults and ensure that it is something they want or need so no wasted gifts. It’s nice to have something to open and we all enjoy it. As everyone says you could ask not to participate.

Be strong and say no. If they continue to buy you something, that’s their hard luck, and shows they’ve no consideration for you.
I personally only buy for adults if they are my parents or husband.

It depends on household. Maybe it helps that I’m in a small family, all adults. we don’t have to be thinking about presents for lots of children now. We get each other things we can definitely afford but just wouldn’t buy for ourselves because it’s a luxury. Now only things that get used up, restaurants vouchers, a better olive oil or different pepper. It isn’t necessarily expensive.

I stopped years ago. I only buy for dh and adult dd.

Tough, they will get used to it.

I agree - adults don't need presents. Just agree to use the money towards an event together later next year (meal/night away/theatre trip/sports event - whatever you enjoy, within budget). It gives you something to look forward to, and means that nobody acquires more unwanted and unnecessary "stuff".

Hopefully more people will reject all the brainwashing they have received from birth that you must buy presents.
You dont have to keep doing the same year in and out .
Make the change.

I didn't think I'd feel this way but i agree. It would make Christmas a lot easier for moms and women especially and it would be nice if we could give gifts when we want to instead of feeling like we have to