A very second hand Christmas

[XmasShoppingOnMyMind]

Is anyone else planning to do a basically fully second hand Christmas? All of the children in my family are super spoilt. They get hundreds of toys a year (or it feels like that) and the vast majority don’t get used. I’ve spent hundreds in the past and none of it is used or appreciated. So if they’re not going to appreciate what they get, they’re getting second hand! Anyone else?

It's not. Just trying to ascertain if OP is worried about the money, or about the ungratefulness.

If she continues to pile toys on them, second hand or not, she'll probably always be disgruntled that they don't get played with. It's all for show and she'll be happily contributing to it.

‘Wasted as much money…’
It sounds like such joyless, begrudging giving. Why bother?!

Yep got my ds about 300 quids worth of paw patrol two years ago for £60 ! Second hand but it literally took up half our living room when laid out ! He was none the wiser and absolutely loved that he had so many vehicles / characters.

Whilst I’m happy to get my own kids second hand stuff if we see something good … I would never gift a second hand present. Why not get them a day out instead of toys they don’t need x

Not really, but we haven’t really done proper gifting in years. It makes no sense when sales are just around the corner.

Normally I get DD + DP something but focus more on food and spending time together.

I would buy them something useful like pyjamas or slippers

Stop buying toys for Christmas presents!
Spend time with them instead; craft activity, collecting conkers, visit the library & read, build models, collect leaves in the park, go swimming, have a carpet picnic, bake fairy cakes or ice biscuits.
Children do not need endless toys as presents.

Christmas is just a "spendfest" now. I don't buy gifts for older children, I buy a charity gift card for them. They told them to school. It went down really well.
Little children don't know if things are new or used. My 7 year old granddaughter gets lots of lovely clothes from a friend's daughter. She doesn't mind - she says "Not new, but new for me"

My sisters have always done experiences with my DC rather than presents and they have understood this from being little.
they have an incredible bond with both sisters and I put some of it down to this approach

but why toys and if they have so many?
Buying second hand just means you will buy more toys that sit in the corner, just cheaper used ones.

perhaps buy something they will actually use like some pyjamas, or a nice raincoat. Or ask their parents what they will actually play with or what they need. They’re obliged to play with something you bought them so try not to take it personally.

My son has far too many toys and I'd be very happy if relatives stopped buying them! Any little bit for them to unwrap will do, even just a kinder egg or something is exciting for a child that age, and you can attach a card saying you've given £20 towards something fun they'd like in the year ahead, like an outing or gymnastics lessons or whatever. Or it could be something fun but practical that always runs out so always needed, like new playdo or crayons. For kids a tiny bit older there are some great magazine subscriptions. My son has Wild Times and National Geographic little kids subscriptions from relatives. Also things like "adopting" a wild animal -- usually comes with a certificate and a cuddly toy, so there's something to unwrap.

I've never understood parents who pile it high. I prefer quality over quantity even if the kids don't understand if. Mine have always had one main present then four or five smaller ones. Now as they are older they get cash (my son, who is saving for a car) and something made by me (I crochet). Plus a few things like battery banks for their phones, Cute jammies, a book etc.
You don't have to go second hand, just cut back on quantity.

We now go by the mantra
something I want
something I need
something to wear
something to read

only toys at Christmas come in the stocking.

Get a secondhand pet from the shelter, lasts a pets lifetime, saves them, & teaches responsibility, love and how to be a dreamer - and if correctly picked a truffle hunting fortune making entrepreneur

Gold ...

You’re the issue…the kids don’t spoil themselves. Just don’t buy so much.
Let them donate all the stuff that you have bought them, and they now don’t play with.

At the ages of 3 and 4 I'd already be doing the second hand thing as at that age they have no idea of something being brand new or second hand they just care about the toy.

But Christmas, yeah, kids like opening a tonne of presents don't they? It's just what it is. We have a £60 limit per child which is quite small, but that's because we have to play this expensive game of buying proper presents for all the family... but then they all buy presents for our children so it works out.

I think you’re undermining your own argument. If excess or waste is the problem, buy less that is better. Buying something cheaper doesn’t really make it less wasteful- or less likely to go to landfill. I’ve found it useful to assign items the child actually wants to those who want to gift. Otherwise as others suggested planning a day out for each of them would be a gift for the child and parents, offering your time is vastly more precious than material possessions.

I do buy a lot of things second hand and then sell or pass on things we are finished with as I think it’s just so much better for the environment, particularly with things that are used for a short time in many cases. We also buy a lot of things to do. In your shoes I’d maybe look for tickets to an event over Christmas period suitable for smaller kids. Might they enjoy a light trail or something like a Julia Donaldson type theatre show? What about a season ticket for soft play or a local museum with interesting bits for kids?

I’ve got most of my twins Xmas gifts second hand this year. They’re only 14 months and let’s be honest, the gifts are more for me than them….as a first time mum I’ve been excited to give gifts at Christmas. I’ve got them some books, a wagon with bricks, and found a few little bits like some fat brain toys for bargain prices. I know they will play with them and they can be donated or sold on when outgrown
the works is good at Xmas time too….little colouring and activity books, kids books and toys, all at good prices
or as others have said, a nice activity. It’s the thought that counts and not the price :)

I have done this specifically on three occasions as a matter of principle, I was keen to show that a happy time didn't depend on the value of the good bought. The first time - the children were 3 and 5 and it worked really well and I remember spending on more than £30 on each child - I must admit not everything was second hand as there was some chocolate coins, a toothbrush and tangerine in the stocking as well. I did this again a a few years later (in the intervening years it meant that I thought more carefully about waste and unnecessary spending) and this time the children were about 7 and 9 and it worked really well again and again at 15 and 17. I think it meant we as a family throught more carefully about waste and reuse. It did impact on the festivities nor enjoyment, in fact I would say it was the opposite because a toy or present that was not used did not make you think of the wasted money.

I always get what I can second hand but if I can't find what I want in good condition at a decent price I'll buy new.

The kids won’t want that though. I’m not going to be the aunt that ruins Christmas by not getting them presents!

Buying something second hand is less wasteful even if it doesn't get a lot of use.

Second hand is great, better for the environment, often contributing to charities if you buy from charity, things don't lose as much value so you can resell.

I usually buy a mix of new and second hand.