Alas, the Turkey!

[Oneearringlost]

An anguished plea..

Over the last 25 years, I have bought:

1. Kelly Bronze, delivered from Norfolk
2. Local Butcher's turkey
3. M&S turkey
4. Tesco supermarket fresh
5. Tesco supermarket frozen
6. Local Farmers' market turkey

I have:

1. Dry-brined it
2. Wet-brined it
3. Brined it for 48 hours
4. Cooked it with butter under the skin
5. Cooked it covered in buttered muslin
6. Cooked it covered in bacon
7. Cooked it upside down
8. Cooked it slowly, overnight
9. Always rest it

Family insist on the whole bird, not a crown, nor a lovely chicken, cut of beef etc..
Tried goose last year, expensive disaster, so back to turkey.

I find it tough, tasteless, boring.
So, my anguished plea to all who cook turkey sucessfully, what else can I do to create a tender, toothsome bird, or do I just accept that I don't like turkey much, and get on with it, after all, its not really all about me?

How long do you cook it for? You are likely overcooking it. It needs a lot less time than people think.

Turkey for them and a nice fillet steak for you. Keep them out of the kitchen, they won't notice.

@Deliveroo yes, my oven DOES run hot, admittedly, by about 10-15°. But I try not correct for that.

I really dislike turkey, so I stopped trying to please other people many years ago.
If they want turkey, they can buy it, cook it & everything that goes with it.

No takers, I please myself now. Rib of beef, leg of lamb, goose.

Gave up on whole turkey ages ago. It’s just impossible to cook legs and breast at the same time. Stage one was to buy turkey legs from the butcher boned and the tendons or whatever removed. Stuffed with chestnut and pork stuffing, they are delicious and so easy to slice.

even better cold the next day (or that evening)?

cooked separately from turkey crown, then realised we all prefer the stuffed turkey legs.

If ‘the family’ insist on a whole turkey, suggest they cook it…. and watch how fast they are happy to accommodate your preference. Good luck

I love roast turkey, wouldn't be Christmas without. I'm in my sixties and have cooked so many Christmas dinners. I always buy a fresh free range one from local supplier or M&S, have never bought a frozen or battery one and have never had a dry turkey.

For decades I followed Delia's turkey recipe and it was always very successful, then did Mary Berry's method, again delicious.

But last year, I bought an Aldi fresh Chesham Bronze turkey which was about 70 quid and cooked it following Jamie Oliver's Easy Turkey method, it was fantastic and I'll never do it any other way. He says to cook higher welfare birds for far less than usually recommended, he does it for 27 mins per kilo, which is what I did, was perfect.

I make all stuffings, all veg and all accompaniments from scratch too which I think makes a real difference. Bought bread sauce, bought gravy and cranberry sauce are nothing compared to homemade. I do loads in advance and freeze so it's easy on the day.

Ha, I did Jamie’s timings a couple of years in a row, with v good high welfare bronze turkey, and each time it wasn’t long enough and had to go back in. I’ve given up on him and back to Delia! I was v annoyed! Glad it worked for you!

Ours usually comes out moist but it's a bit of a palaver. Firstly loose stuffing in the body cavity. Then butter under the skin, bacon over the breast and, what DH regards as the most important, a whole bottle of wine . Cover in foil until the last half hour then remove the foil and bacon should also be cooked so remove that too. Let it rest whilst you do the roast potatoes. Use the foil as a barrier and then put a few towels on the foil.

Have you tried making nice dishes with leftovers? My mother always made Turkey a la King, which I stlll love, and a fantastic turkey pie.

Yes... I always make Mary Berry's Turkey Chin Chow on Boxing Day. It's the best bit, as the wretched meat is covered in hoisin sauce and coconut milk!
Oh, and I do love a good pie, stuffing, pigs in blankets, ( if any are left over), gravy, puff pastry lid.
I've just looked up that Turkey à la King, it looks quite perfect.

i recommend a large Packingtons Cockersell. Feeds 12 of us. About half the price of a Kelly Bronze, it just looks like a big fat chicken as opposed to a turkey. Delicious.

In truth, OP, I think you'd be more likely to "seduce" people into trying something new for Christmas if they saw you happily tucking into steak and chips/lobster thermidor/vegetable tagine/a potato crisp sandwich rather than patiently enduring turkey (especially if you refuse to let them have a bite once they've decided it looks good and want to have a taste!)

Tell him to cook the turkey. I know someone who wanted something other than turkey and her family said no way so she told them that they had to cook the turkey and time the sides etc. They lasted one year and decided that steak would be nicer.

If it’s coming out dry you’re over cooking it. If you like chicken, turkey is very similar. The only time I’ve had tough turkey was an M&S one and it was def the bird not me.

I would ignore your family’s insistence on whole bird, and order a stuffed Turkey crown from Cook.

Cook have the best high street turkeys by far and you just shove in oven.

We have a slightly similar tradition but with the turkey - on boxing day we have turkey, stuffing and gravy baguettes. Food of the gods in my opinion (yours too).

I never liked Turkey but DH desperate for it and is a useless cook. I used this Gordon Ramsay recipe and it turned out perfectly!

https://www.gordonramsay.com/gr/recipes/roast-turkey-with-lemon-parsley-and-garlic/amp

Ours is always moist and gorgeous. DH swears by the cook upside down then turn method. Uses a thermometer to make sure it’s only just cooked not overdone so stays very moist. The turkey itself is organic from a local butcher.

We have curry for Christmas dinner so I’m just here to mention that some people in the US fry it in a big bucket of oil. Maybe that’s what you should try.

Mary Berry's Turkey what?!

@EgregiouslyOverdressed this! (photo may take a while)

We sometimes have beef - one year we had spiced beef which was delicious. The turkey last year was from Asda,about £60 & had a whisky based stuffing. Expensive but worth every penny as it was so moist.

I bought a new bucket from B&Q specifically for the recipe. I was won over by the info that Americans brine turkey for Thanksgiving and as a country with amazing BBQ skills, I thought I’d listen to that advice.

The result was that it was tasty for turkey but not better than a good chicken.

When I was a child we lived in a country where joints of meat aren’t readily available and had steak as the meat.

I confess freely…. I am a good cook but can’t cook turkey. FIL insisted on turkey. One year I ordered a 10 pound chicken that we called between ourselves ‘churkey’ and FIL politely ignored it for a good ten years before admitting it was much nicer. 😝 I loved my FIL. He was great. ❤️

Haven’t done turkey in years. We have a joint of beef and all the trimmings. A big ham too for sandwiches.

@Oneearringlost Who is the weirdo that likes the dark meat? 🤯
That's the lucky volunteer who is now responsible for selecting, purchasing and cooking the turkey.
If they don't like it, they can have beef or lamb instead. You can still do stuffing, PIBs and Yorkshire puds and mint sauce 😋