I don't know how to do Christmas

[Tunacheesequesadilla]

Firstly, I know this is a little early but I've been thinking about Christmas a lot recently. I had a quite neglectful childhood and holidays were completely ignored. This didn't bother me much, up until I had a baby last year, and this is the first time that Christmas feels important.

My dh isn't really a holiday person and he's not a planner either, but he'll go along with whatever I want to do, so I feel like it's on me to make it happen. Neither of us have any family to visit/invite so it'll just be the three of us.

I want to ensure my kids have holiday traditions and fun memories of family Christmases! The only problem is that I don't feel like I know how to "do Christmas" so I'm here to ask what are your traditions and how does your Christmas day look?

Budget friendly ideas are very welcome especially!

There are loads of long running traditions threads whcih would be good for inspiration - if you use Google as MN search is crap “Christmas traditions mumsnet”

Theres loads of cheap ideas for activities and entertainment too but maybe better for older kids but even toddlers would love walking streets for lights - your local Facebook group might know which streets are the best.

Also most churches do Carol concerts for minimal donations which can be lovely.

Picking a tree - turn it into a whole day out.

Start watching Xmas films and build up family favourites.

Craft - Hobbycraft always have really cheap packs of Xmas crafty bits which last a few years.

Baking! Outlay on ingredients yes but you get to enjoy the treats - gingerbread is very forgiving and can be squished and cut by little ones whilst you do decorating.

Local ‘am dram’ groups might have cheap and cheerful
pantomimes you could watch.

Garden centres often have incredible displays

Choosing a new tree decoration every year - that’s one I wish we’d done when they were smaller!

Oh and I definitely push the Christmas is a Season so lasts for a couple of weeks of fun stuff and special treats / food rather than the whole focus being on Xmas day.

Start low key.
See what works, if so repeat next year.

Christmas eve baking for Christmas day buffet. Christmas eve boxes in the morning with some christmassy activities in reindeer food, story book pyjamas and bath bomb. We always have a takeaway and watch a Christmas film Christmas eve night then put stuff out for santa and reindeer then read a Christmas bedtime story. Christmas morning usually starts about 6am do stocking in our bedroom have a cup of tea. Then head down for more presents. Then partner sorts toys out batteries etc while kids play and I make dinner we usually eat about 1. Then afternoon we play board games and party games etc then have buffet food for tea maybe watch a Christmas film in the evening before bed. We also always track santa on Christmas eve on norad

Your child is very lucky to have a mum wanting to provide them with nice childhood memories. All of the posters above have great ideas, but I do agree with one that said to start low key. Bake one thing. Pick a couple of events to see how you like them and if you do, repeat them next year.

One silly tradition I always did for my sons (and still do, if I am honest!) is each christmas eve when they go to bed there is a new pair of pajamas (now just pajama pants) and a book I think they would like.

Please post after the holidays and let us know how it went.

I'm so sorry that you didn't have lovely Christmas memories from your own childhood but it's wonderful that you want to build traditions for your own family. I think it's important to think about what you actually like rather than what's the done thing.I'd start small. To me Christmas is a cosy time. Perhaps a tree, some fairy lights on the mantle piece or in a glass vase or jar if you don't have one. Presents put out under the tree or in a stocking or pillowcase. They don't have to be expensive. My favourite Christmas eve tradition is reading The Grinch who stole Christmas to my daughter. She still insists I do it and she's 18. Food should be your favourite things. If you're not an enthusiastic cook or a turkey person then definitely don't bother. Just eat what you love with the people you love. Brisk walk outside and lots of rubbish TV. Have a lovely Christmas whatever you decide to do.

I feel it's important you don't get overwhelmed with what others are doing. In my household it's only me, partner and dog, no children.

Our traditions are simple. Partner loves a real tree so we have a day going to buy one..dog inc..he loves the day out lol. We have lunch out then the evening we spend decorating it with festive music on.

We love a film so we both choose a number of films we enjoy, put in a hat then pick throughout the month. We're 50s but get absolute joy from films even for children over Christmas.

I get tremendous joy from a proper old fashioned advent calendar too..the card type with an old fashioned scene.

Years gone by we would take inlaws to a show then a meal out.

Christmas Day we love a walk....couple of hours out with dog then good food.

As you've probably gathered, we do whatever we want to!!!

I sometimes feel I'd love to have a child around to do things like baking, decorating etc..... maybe I should put myself out as 'rent a wannabe granny' lol

You can’t really manufacture or ‘make memories’. They should happen organically.
I loved Christmas as a kid. I grew up in New England and America really loves the holidays! I guess we started by writing a wish list asking Santa for this or that. Then the tree was the big thing - when very little my parents just hit it but it eventually turned in to an afternoon out just me dragging my poor Dad from one place to another in search of the perfect specimen. When my kids were little we used to go chop our own tree down. Decorating it was my domain and I still have some childhood ornaments. We dyd an annual trip to NY in December too.
We didn’t do a lot of Christmas baking but we did make a gingerbread house.
My parents always invited a few friends who were ex pats and had no family nearby. That made for a jolly Christmas but the guests had to be ready to play their part!
Carol services, trips to see Santa, a drive to see the lights, a Panto… all can be done year after year and become a tradition. Me and my DD watch a Christmas movie every night in December, and I still love those old stop motion specials like Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer.
Don’t kill yourself looking for perfection. Your kids don’t notice. It’s as much your attitude and good humour as much as material things or having the right colour theme.

If you don't have anything decorations wise, start small. Get a small tree and a few decorations you love and add to it over the years.If it feels a bit sparse initially, think about low cost but big visual impact things - coloured paper chains, fairy lights, those 80s foil decorations.
Our present traditions were that FC brought one or possibly two bigger gifts and my parents got the rest. That way they got their fair share of the credit alongside the magic. That also covers you if your budget is smaller at any point and the kids don't wonder why magical FC brought them less this year.
Stockings on beds so from when we were old enough to open them ourselves my parents could have a bit more sleep while we got excited by stationery and chocolate.
We also opened tree presents one at a time, to avoid just diving into the pile and not taking a moment to appreciate anything. I know some people find that super twee though!
What I would say is try to embrace that you're coming at it all fresh. I know it's not for a nie reason, but it has given you a clean slate. You don't have to do anything 'because we always do it'. So if you want to do a classic turkey, do it, but if you'd all actually prefer a big pizza for your feast then do that instead.
Happy Christmas!

Start small. You don't want to overwhelm youself (or a young child)

There is no one was to 'do' christmas. Every one on here will do things differently.

Think about what you would like from the Christmas period and use that as a starting point. Does DH have any parts of Christmas he enjoyed as a child he'd like to do for your child

Also decide with your DH how you are doing Santa (if you are doing that not everyone does). It needs to work for you in the long term - some variations are Sants only brings the small stocking fillers, Santa brings the 'main' present or everything is off Santa.

I will repeat though, don't throw yourself in so deep that you end up resenting it. Little steps as you learn what works for you and your family

Don’t overthink it. I think trying to piggyback onto other people’s traditions doesn’t work, personally. You’ll probably find they evolve organically without you having to specially ‘do’ anything. For instance there’s a lit up tractor run here every December so that’s become a Christmas tradition but that’s probably no use if you live in inner London!

Every Christmas is also different as well though and to be honest I think for the first couple of years the kids are oblivious but adults sort of force it onto them and it can make behaviour deteriorate and so I’d keep it low key myself.

The big one my dc like is they only open their stockings on Christmas Day. The rest of the presents are given out one a day until the run out. Usually New Year’s Eve.
we see a free Santa. Go to Christmas messy church. Decorate the Christmas tree. Well actually I just get the decorations out and let them decide what goes where.
We try to keep it low key as the build up to Christmas at school is massive and they’re a bit overwhelmed by the end of term.
As others have said it’s the simple things when they are little you can do the bigger events etc as they get older.

I think you should decide which parts of Christmas sound nicest to you most and focus on that.
Food
Gifts
Decorations
Traditional Parts (Santa or Church based things like a carol service)
If you just focus on one or two you will be less overwhelmed.

This is so lovely. I’m lol at the dog enjoying going out to choose the tree ❤️

This is us. 1st December the wreath goes on the door and I have an indoor Christmas door mat. The tree goes up around 10th. I watched professional Christmas tree decorators talk through how to make it look cohesive rather than random stuff, that is personal to what I like in my own home.

I draw on the dining room window in chalk pen, you can buy reusable stickers, this takes place around 17th/18th December. We bring out the Christmas table settings for the two weeks the children were off school for.

We have always done new pyjamas on Christmas eve, not Christmas themed just new ones which they wear all year.

We have stocking from Father Christmas hung on the fireplace and they have token gifts in. They remain downstairs as I do not want my children waking up at 3am opening and playing with toys. Presents under the tree and from us.

Food wise we have a set menu, it has evolved over the years as we do a post Christmas chat about what worked and what we would change. As the children got older they had their say in this too.

Start small, look at decorated trees, work out what you like. Nothing needs to be perfect, it just needs to be nice and fun.

In addition to everything others have suggested, it’s worth remembering that celebrations are about sharing. As neither of you has any family you need to prioritise building or maintaining strong relationships with your friends. You will automatically become more part of a community once your child is at school, but for now ensure that you’re each reaching out to everyone you know. Make plans to invite people to your home, look up recipes, start buying ingredients - involve your child (where possible) in stirring Christmas cake mix etc. Have food and drink to offer guests. This way she’ll grow up with hospitality and entertaining and sharing being a major part of her understanding of Christmas. And of course it’s likely that this will be reciprocated.

Whatever you do, don’t fall into the ‘my little family’ thing, where you exclude everything me else. That’s the opposite of the Christmas spirit.

How old is your DC? When DD was small we went to Christmas events in the local museum which was cheap. We used to go to the garden centre and pick out a new decoration. And we did panto for a few years, which wasn’t cheap but was the main thing we went to. But I would stick to a couple of things.

we never actually did that many things as she would get overwhelmed anyway and it was fine. One thing is waiting until Christmas week and then doing decorating/making, I think it feels more special if it doesn’t drag on.
DD is a teenager now and we watch a Christmas movie for a few nights leading up to the day.

Lidl used to do Christmas cookie sets.....you just need to decorate them. I used to walk around with my sons and look at all the fairy lights. Home bargains do some lovely Christmas craft kits, baker ross (online) also have a good selection. And lastly.... IKEA do a gingerbread dough and a gingerbread house kit. But get extra icing as its fiddly Lol. Enjoy x

Our family traditions are quite small really!

We like to listen to The Festival of the Nine Lessons and Carols on radio 3 on Christmas Eve afternoon. It has readings and lots of carols, traditional and newer ones, often with a new commission. While we’re doing that we prepare things like the stuffing, bread sauce, cranberry etc. And we often make mince pies.

The kids are mostly grown-up now and everyone gets a stocking. They get laid out in a room and then people sneak off at their intervals to put things in. The stockings are a major thing for us!

When the shops close we say ‘that’s it. If we haven’t got it now we’re doing without it!’

Presents are opened mid to late morning, with a Buck’s Fizz or other sparkling-wine-based drink.

But we aren’t ones for special films or anything, we just spend time together and enjoy preparing food together, having a lovely lunch, enjoying the Boxing Day snacks, stuff like that.

It’s low-key and we like it that way.

@Titasaducksarse - your Christmas sounds heavenly!

Get a pair of the longest socks you can find (ours were Dad's old football stockings). Fill them with little things, a clementine, shiny coins (if old enough not to eat them) nuts(ditto) and small presents. A sugar pig goes down well. Get them to hang them up at bedtime on Christmas Eve leaving a mince pie for Santa and a tipple for you (sorry Santa)

Creep in while asleep and leave them on the bottom of the beds, just by their feet so they can feel the weight when they wake up. Wait for delighted cries of "He's been! He's been"

I'm in my 60s and that is still Christmas for me (we had other presents too, under the tree downstairs, but that moment was always the most exciting)

100% agree with everyone who’s said start small and don’t get overwhelmed. Starting with a blank slate can be intimidating, and you could easily take on too much if you’re looking at everything on SM, with all the pretence of perfection and packed schedules, and all the weeks of preparation and forced fun.

Think about what you’d love your Christmas to look and feel like, just the three of you. Keep it simple and cosy and easy - maybe a special Christmas picture book you can read with your baby at bedtime (assuming they’re 18 months-ish)? Food and decorations that won’t break the bank, Christmas films you can watch together. Decide on a Christmas stocking you can use year after year - doesn’t have to be a stocking, obviously, could be a pillowcase or a special bag or box - and fill it with a few really small, inexpensive things to open in bed together on Christmas morning. When your baby’s small you can put a few bits for each of you in there. If you’re having a tree, buy one special ornament each year and put it in the stocking to be hung on the tree on Christmas Day. Make a start with a few little things this year and it will evolve over time, building year on year.

You’re an amazing mum to want to do this for your children, despite nobody doing it for you, and I hope you get all the pleasure you deserve from creating new magical traditions for you and your family.

Dont worry about doing it "right". Our favorite family traditions were by chance. Dh saw a sign on a fire station when my kids were a year old "Breakfast with Santa" so we took them, they loved it, and we have done it every year since (they are 21 now). One Christmas Eve early on in our marriage I hadn't planned a dinner because we were hosting the next day but I had stuff to make spaghetti and meatballs and that became the new tradition. Our tree decorating the second year of marriage had to be done the Saturday after American Thanksgiving purely for scheduling reasons but now it is our regular day and it is always a source of ridiculous squabbling over who is helping and who is slacking and who is on their phone in the bathroom rather than helping untangle the blasted lights.
It will happen. Just start doing whatever interests you and the traditions create themselves.

We start as soon as The Range get the Christmas decorations in. I go with my DD and we chose new ornaments for the tree. Our tree is a proper mish mash of ornaments that don't match.

We got to the Pantomime.

We always watch the film Nativity in December.

We change the soap dispenser to a Santa dispenser.

We always have onion rings for Christmas dinner.

We used to visit santa in the village, local shop etc.

You collect Christmas traditions as you go along. Your child wont be aware of Christmas until they are at least 3, so you have a few years to find your own traditions. You will find them as you are a lovely person who wishes to make Christmas wonderful for your child.