I don't know how to do Christmas

[Tunacheesequesadilla]

Firstly, I know this is a little early but I've been thinking about Christmas a lot recently. I had a quite neglectful childhood and holidays were completely ignored. This didn't bother me much, up until I had a baby last year, and this is the first time that Christmas feels important.

My dh isn't really a holiday person and he's not a planner either, but he'll go along with whatever I want to do, so I feel like it's on me to make it happen. Neither of us have any family to visit/invite so it'll just be the three of us.

I want to ensure my kids have holiday traditions and fun memories of family Christmases! The only problem is that I don't feel like I know how to "do Christmas" so I'm here to ask what are your traditions and how does your Christmas day look?

Budget friendly ideas are very welcome especially!

60 years on, I still vividly remember the excitement on Christmas Eve of rifling through Dad’s sock drawer to find the biggest of his welly socks to put out. Stockings were filled with small stuff, always including a tangerine and a book - and a shilling (equivalent to 5p in today’s money) in the toe. They were to keep us occupied until the family - mum, dad, sister, granny and me - gathered after breakfast to open our main presents from each other. Mum and Dad got the credit for the presents they bought but we still got the Father Christmas magic, a double win!

Intrigued. Onion rings?

And you’ve already started buying decs?!

Do It really simply this year and see what works.
The basics for preparations is a tree and decorations. Either fake or real is fine.
Some gifts for each of you.
A stocking for each of you to put in small gifts. Some people tell kids that the stocking gifts are from Santa and the gifts under the tree are from who they’re from.
Food for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and usually leftovers on Boxing Day.

Then it’s all the extra stuff to do. People have mentioned lots here.
Ours are baking biscuits/cookies, films, lots of winter walks, a light trail or just go and see the Christmas lights in the town centre, joined in some activities run by the council, lots of winter walks and hot chocolate, ice skating and local panto.

We always put a Christmas book under dc pillow on Christmas eve to read that night. Christmas Eve boxes were not really a thing for us. Always went to see Father Christmas in the run up. Each year we would but 1 special bauble for the tree that signified something special from the year past, we now have a lovely collection. This year is have a painted shell bauble that we bought on holiday. We always have a real tree and we put up lots of lights. We also have a small nativity set that I got when ds was born and even now he still puts this out. We also have a play list of our favourite Christmas songs. Dc still love their stockings and they come from santa, they leave out a carrot and mince pie for him. Do simple fun things and they will enjoy.

I’m sorry you didn’t have special memories yourself, and it is lovely that you want to create memories for your children. Fortunately, you have plenty of time as it will be a few years before they start remembering specifics.
Our main things are:
Christmas lights switch-on in town- we always go.
A trip to the local garden centre that does brilliant displays
A drive round looking for the most-decorated houses
Looking out for the Xmas float that tours the local streets.
Dinner on Xmas Eve. It is lovely to have lit with sparkly lights and candles, and it means no-one is spending the whole of Xmas in the kitchen.
Christmas morning the children have stockings to open, then we all get properly dressed, sit down and have a nice breakfast that is made by my husband.
Presents are opened after breakfast (mid-morning) and then we play a game in the afternoon. We have a buffet mid afternoon, all of which is pre-prepared.
We play games and watch Christmas TV in the evening.

Lots of brilliant ideas already but I would definitely recommend buying double the amount of stockings needed, then you can just swap the full one with the empty one when the kids are asleep.

Sorry if that has already been posted but it is my top tip to take some of the stress away from Christmas Eve. My kids were heavily invested in the reality of Santa and I worried I would spoil it by giving the game away. I wish had instigated Santa leaving the stockings full by the fire instead of on the ends of the bed also, waiting for dd to sleep was often a long wait.

My friend's 5 year old said to me the other day ( when she was supposed to be brushing her teeth!).
"I love Christmas. You get to eat yummy food, hang out with people you like and you get presents"
I think that plus some decorations ( as much or as little as you want- you can start smaller and add to them over the years too) kind of sums it up. Within that, do whatever works for you

The only other thing I think is maybe get Santa to bring the smaller stocking things and family/friends give the bigger gifts.

That way once they are at school kids who's family are on a tight budget don't end up wondering why Santa bought their friend a bike/iPad/ X box when they got a colouring book and some bubbles.

Do you take the one it pees on? :)

Ask @Titasaducksarse It’s her dog 🤣

We try to strike a balance between keeping things low-key and stress-free and also prioritising the festive things that we enjoy the most. For us that is the food, the lights and spending time together as a family.

Food-wise I always make a Christmas cake and a Christmas pudding around this time of year. I may do it this weekend actually. DDs both stir the cake mixture and I take a photo so I have a picture of them each year with the wooden spoon and mixing bowl.

I buy one or two items a week from September to add to the festive food stash. Both in order to spread the cost and so I can just buy the fresh food bits a couple of days before Christmas and don't have to do a full shop. I keep anything I buy stashed away in a cupboard in the garage and have a list I keep on my phone so I can tick things off as I've bought them. So far I've already got some foil trays, a jar of chutney, a pack of napkins and a giant Toblerone 🤣. If it is on the list, has a best before date after Christmas and is on offer then I'll pick it up with the weekly shop.

If you would rather buy all of your food ready made and just shove it in the oven to keep things easy, then do that. If you'd rather not have a roast and want something else, have what you like.

I absolutely LOVE fairy lights. We put lights on the outside of the house too because I love seeing other houses lit up on the dark evenings. We string fairy lights up all around the living room from the end of November and keep them up until well into February to brighten up the winter nights.

We will do a Christmas light Safari every year and have done since DDs were babies. Hot chocolate in a thermos (or in a sippy cup when they were toddlers), Christmas music on in the car and a drive round to look at the lights on houses in our town.

We buy one special decoration each year. The tree is a complete mishmash of ornaments purchased on holidays, ones handed down from relatives that are no longer with us, decorations that DDs made at nursery years ago etc. I love it because it's unique to us and full of memories. It's not perfectly curated, but it is ours.

In terms of big days out we only really do the Panto and only started that when DD2 was about 3 or 4. We will also go to Breakfast with Santa at a local pub because it costs us £30 and we get our breakfast included. Some of the attractions and light trails around us are absolutely extortionate so we skip all of those.

For presents, stockings are downstairs on the fireplace and filled with little presents from Father Christmas. Anything under the tree is from family. We try not to go too mad with presents so DDs don't expect a huge haul. They get 5 or so presents each from us plus their stockings.

We read The Night Before Christmas every Christmas Eve before bed.

Each weekend in December we have popcorn and watch a different Christmas film.

Christmas Day is spent just our family of 4 usually so we will have an open house on Boxing Day or another day in December for friends, extended family, neighbours etc. To keep the cost of hosting that down I theme it as a "mulled wine and mince pies" type of drop in. I'll do shredded gammon in rolls as that is quite economical, mulled wine or mulled apple juice for kids and shop bought mince pies. Add some bags of crisps for nibbles and I can feed a crowd for not a huge amount of money.

I’d say it’s definitely a season. Things that stick out to me are:

Going to choose and then decorating Christmas tree with carols and mulled wine or champagne

putting the stockings and mince pie and drink for Santa out on Christmas Eve

opening stockings on Christmas morning but then getting dressed before big presents.

Christmas lunch

Boxing Day walk

go see a panto at some point

There are no rules.

Create your own, starting with what suits you and your family.

My kids really love that we do the tree on the same day every year - Dec 1st and that we still have decorations they made when they were younger. So if I were you I would make some decorations together even if they are just a bit of glitter glued onto some wood or salt dough. The works does packs of mini rounels of wood or plaster hearts etc if you are not into making the dough.

We also like making paper chains together - can be from cut up strips of wrapping paper or magazines - we say we will keep them every year but they always get crushed so we don't.

My kids also like watching the same films every year - Elf and The Christmas Chronicles are their favourites. Also Raymond Brigg's Father Christmas and The Snowman.

We like to walk around local streets and spot people's lights in the windows too.

I think these are the things they like more than the gifts tbh.

For budget kid fun, you cant go wrong with a Christmas disco. Christmas songs, a bubble machine, and you're set :)

The whole Advent season can be lovely - I'd recommend going to church services from the beginning of December where you'll see the Advent candles being lit one-by-one and then the baby being put in the manger.

And, as said up-thread, there'll be some carol-singing services too, usually closer to Christmas Day. Check in your local churches' websites.

Churches really welcome young families and often have other things that your DC will enjoy throughout the year like Messy Church.

What I'd hold off from doing is putting pressure on yourself to overcompensate and making it fun for the kids but an expensive burden as they grow older.

At home, little traditions like decorating a tree together, a new ornament each year, making paper chains and gingerbread biscuits, cuddling up to watch Christmas films will go a lot further in their happy memories than rushing around to do stuff that's all about Instagram likes. (That's not what's motivating you, I know, but there's a hell of a lot of it about and it saddens me in many ways).

I just wanted to say, you sound like such a lovely Mum, and I’m so sorry for what happened to you as a child.

Agree with others here - stay off social media, start small and remember small children want to play with you and a few new toys on Christmas Day- no need to spend hours in the kitchen or lots of money in the run up on fancy outings, light shows or any of the other monetised things which get pushed on us now (and actually aren’t traditional at all!)

Some things we do in our house:

• Find out when the high street Christmas lights are switched on and go and watch (often November) - a free activity then home for hot chocolate afterwards,
• We make a homemade Christmas pudding on Stir Up Sunday and a Christmas cake (Stir Up Sunday is the last Sunday before Advent Sunday so usually around 20th November). Everyone in the family makes it together and makes a wish as they stir the mixture. Eliza Acton’s recipe is online and simple - but no need to do this if you don’t like eating it!
• Go as a family to choose a Christmas tree and a wreath at a nearby farm etc, lovely annual tradition (though more expensive than having an artificial tree which you bring down each year from the loft),
• Go to a local grotto and see Father Christmas. Doesn’t have to be expensive, look around for recommendations online, but you do need to book around now.
• Local am dram societies often do a pantomime that is much cheaper than the ones in theatres and still a good afternoon out, again this isn’t essential! Many schools take children for £10 each every year so we don't do a panto trip with our DC.
• Bake gingerbread men, or chocolate fairy cakes that you decorate with mini snowmen or Santa’s etc (all in the baking aisle of supermarkets). No need to do a gingerbread house.
• A traditional Christmas lunch doesn’t need loads of side dishes, and you can have chicken if you don’t want to cook a while Turkey or beef or goose. You also can just eat whatever you fancy.
• Church services in the run up to Christmas are lovely - Christingle and Crib services are beautiful plus Carol services too. Christmas morning services are a great way to meet other local families also.
• One afternoon can be spent inviting friends with children over to play; you can get Christmas colouring books and give the children those with snacks while you and grown ups have mince pies, sausage rolls and cheap ready bottled mulled wine or hot chocolate.
• Buy a few Christmas children’s books to read to your DC. We love Christmas in Exeter Street, Lucy and Tom at Christmas, Alfie’s Christmas, ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, the Nativity story, the Nutcracker - and there are so many more, all cheap, second hand online.
• When your DC go to school go to the school Christmas fair and watch their Nativity play.
• Advent calendars - a normal chocolate one is perfect or a traditional paper religious one with pictures behind the doors. No need for splashing out on fancy ones.
• Stockings are nice, but the traditional thing was using a Dad’s sock or a pillowcase! They don’t need to be brimming: a satsuma, bag of chocolate coins and a couple of small token gifts is plenty. For presents, don’t go overboard unless you want to - a big main present and some smaller gifts under the tree is great.
• In early December write a letter to Father Christmas with DC and all go to the local postbox to send it.
• Make a Christmas carols or Christmas songs playlist to play at home or in the car.
• If you want to, you can send friends Christmas cards and get these cheaply at Card Factory. I like sending cards but not many do it nowadays because of cost.
• If you have a friend who is a National Trust member you may be able to borrow their membership card - lots of National Trust houses are beautifully decorated at Christmas and have activities and houses set up with rooms dressed like scenes from famous books.
• Go for a country walk or to the park with a flask of hot chocolate.
• Christmas is twelve days until Epiphany, so no need to feel the pressure of doing all the nice stuff during Advent or on one day - save some of it for the days afterwards and keep your tree up until the 6th.
• Watch nice Christmas TV such as Raymond Briggs The Father Christmas and The Snowman.
• As DC get older play charades, and have a few board games and card games in the house: Uno, Articulate Kids, Happy Families, Connect 4, Scrabble, Snakes and Ladders or a few Christmas jigsaws.
• Another cheap thing to do is make salt dough decorations for your Christmas tree - recipes online (don’t eat them!) and fun to make with children then paint and hang on your tree.

Enjoy, OP. Whatever you do will be treasured by your children. Happy Christmas.

We're not as hugely organised as some, but here's what our Christmas season looks like:

• From mid-November ish, I start playing Christmas music. This might be our (almost 6-hour long) Christmas-ish playlist, or carols, classical, or soft friendly music like Frank Sinatra.
• The tree goes up early December. Usually the first weekend. We don't have a big "tree outing" because they're incredibly expensive and real trees take up too much width in our smallish and unhelpfully shaped living room. Getting the tree down from the loft is no big deal 😂
• The kids always help decorate the tree. For each of their first Christmases I hand-sewed a star with their initials on, and they get to put their own star on the tree. We have a very eclectic collection of decorations, all of which are non-breakable (a decision made when our eldest was a baby), and we all like to see them each year. We always hang chocolates on the tree too.
• We have a few other decorations, and the kids drape tinsel around in their rooms, cards go on the mantelpiece or are blu-tacked to bookcases
• We have a get-together with friends - this used to be a multi-household mammoth cooking situation, but now lots of us have kids we tend to choose the easy route and go out for pub lunch instead. We often go back to someone's house for a cup of tea afterwards.
• Christmas Eve we leave stockings by the fireplace, with a letter to Santa from each kid, plus a mince pie and glass of whisky.
• DH and I watch Die Hard on Christmas Eve when the kids have gone to bed. One day they'll be old enough to join us (and/or judge our taste in Christmas films).
• Christmas Day everyone goes downstairs in pyjamas, the kids open their stockings and inevitably eat chocolate for breakfast.
• We go for a walk on Christmas morning. It might be a quick march round the block in the rain, or a longer stroll in the sunshine, with warm mince pies and mulled wine halfway round. Either way it's good to get some fresh air!
• We open presents together at some point in the day, usually with at least one other friend/relation there too.
• Christmas dinner is a standard roast with chicken rather than turkey, plus pigs in blankets, yorkshires, cranberry sauce, and bread sauce. If we're at home, DH is in charge, but it's my job to do as much prep as possible - this suits both of our inclinations and skillsets.
• I made crackers and crowns a few years ago so they always get reused. It's nice being able to put something that isn't tat in a cracker. Often it's a Lindor ball, or a couple of Celebrations.
• There are snacks all over the place for Christmas. Especially Twiglets!

Religion has no part in our Christmas, aside from singing along with carols. If there's a local carol singalong I like to go if I can, and if one of my Christian friends invites me to their church carol service I do go and enjoy the music. I may put "Carols from King's" on the telly on Christmas Day, because it's such beautiful music.

We try and keep it pretty low-key, it's supposed to be fun! There are also lots of family birthdays that fall in the run-up to Christmas, so we can't go too mad for Christmas.

We don't do:

• Elf on the Shelf
• Christmas Eve boxes
• Visits to Santa/Grotto
• Lots of big gifts

You're in an advantage because you don't have traditions from your family/past, so you can make your own. Don't mean that to sound flippant but it might be quite freeing to build traditions that are completely your own. Maybe start small, get a keepsake personalised stocking you can bring out each year for your child, a new special decoration for the tree that you add to each year etc. definitely second the tradition of Christmas being a couple of weeks of family time rather than one day of expensive gifts.

We open presents together at some point in the day, usually with at least one other friend/relation there too.

When I was a child my parents used to make a point of inviting at least one other person (often a mere acquaintance or someone with no family of their own) to share Christmas Day with us. We would always have one or two gifts for them under the tree (and the presence of another person ensured reasonable behaviour from over-excited children).

One thing I forgot:

A lovely and cheap tradition is to leave a mince pie, glass of sherry and a carrot out on a plate for Father Christmas and the reindeer on Christmas Eve before DC go to bed.

After they’re in bed then drink the sherry, eat the mince pie and put the carrot back in the fridge but leave out the empty plate and glass, so in the morning DC can see “he's been”!

We bake Christmas biscuits (you can get the Christmas biscuit cutters) with music on in the background.

Advent calendars

Tree goes up while we eat chocolates and listen to music.

Christmas films on the sofa with hot chocolate / snacks

On Christmas Day at home, presents in the morning, carols in the background, eat whatever whenever. Special breakfast like pancakes or croissants. Morning playing with toys, then earlier dinner as my children are still quite young, afternoon walk or continue playing with toys. Maybe a movie in the evening. Games etc. we go to family when we're back in the UK.

It really doesn't have to cost a lot of money. As a kid I loved making Christmas pictures with tinsel and glitter. Watching movies with my mum. Listening to music. I do do one or two paid activities with my boys but it's not necessary, you could just take DC to see Santa at a shopping centre etc, then it's not as expensive.

Yes! It always amuses me to leave a nibbled carrot top and some mince pie crumbs behind. Such evidence! In our house it's always been whisky though - both my dad and then DH like it best - and use a special glass too. The kids like the honour of carrying a fancy glass and being allowed to pour the whisky themselves. The whole thing is lovely 😍

I notice the OP never came back.
She's probably been overwhelmed with all these long posts with too much information.
@Tunacheesequesadilla if you're still out there my advice is start small and keep it simple 🎄

Just a quick tip @Tunacheesequesadilla , if you have other people giving gifts to your child, have a pad and paper standing by when they open the presents so you can take a note of what to say thank you for, the next time you see them.

There are many lovely traditions on here, so cherry pick the ones you will enjoy, and if they do not work, choose another next year. The good news is this is not an Olympic sport and you can do as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. Have fun and Merry Christmas!

We try to keep our traditions low key and budget friendly so they’re easy to maintain.

We buy a new Christmas tree decoration each year, and write the year underneath in marker pen so we remember when we bought it.

Their Christmas sack comes from Santa, the rest of their presents are from us. The gifts from Santa are modest, so the kids understand that their large gifts are ones we’ve had to work hard for. I try and follow the “something you want, need, to wear, and read” concept for their sacks. So usually one toy, then underwear for their “need”, the wear is a pair of pyjamas or a onesie, and then a book each.

We try and do breakfast with Santa. Our local Brewers Fayre does one at a really reasonable price.

Then my one indulgence is a pantomime on Christmas Eve. I admit this is an expensive option, but we really do enjoy it each year. We book the 5pm performance, so that when we come out, it’s time for a light supper and hot chocolate and pyjamas ready for bed.

One thing my kids loved and it didn’t cost anything was going to see some Christmas lights on houses. There’s a street called “Christmas Street” in Hazel Grove (if you’re local to Manchester/Stockport) and it’s just beautiful. Hot drinks in a flask and a nice walk around is just lovely.