Poncetastic Christmas 2025

[welikebeingcosy]

Added by MNHQ upon request:
OK, first of all, I know it's still September but we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.The days are getting shorter, the leaves are starting to brown, that can only mean one thing- it's time to ignore the waves of Halloween decor all over your local The Range and head to the woods to start picking your own holly for that perfect Kirsty inspired wreath.

We want homemade stuffing recipes perfected by November, the handmade crackers draped in the most delicate of embroidered ribbon, mantle pieces draped in the most Scandinavian of wooden carvings, specialised stamps for the personalised wrapping paper ordered by next week and the word craft to be your official middle name by new year.

Happy ponceing and may Nigel and Nigella's fairy lights guide you on your way to getting the last box of rosemary and sea salt crackers in your own personal Bethlehem.

I love alliums and saved some that I’d grown once they’d died. I also saved some seeds.
I’ve been lucky enough to have grabbed some teasels when we went for a walk, plus I had some hydrangeas that I’d dried from last year. Those items were hastily thrown into a vase and put away up high, far away from DKitten.
it’s very brown though and could do with some proper arrangement. I did think about spraying it but I’m not too keen on silver and gold, I’m trying to think of ways to introduce a bit of colour though.

@RainbowZebraWarriorthose candles look amazing. I bet they smell lovely too. 🕯️

I managed to make some chilli jam today despite my 2 year olds best efforts. A little on the loose side but it tastes amazing — we decided as one jar wasn’t quite full we may as well try it out.
I found some cute small jars for gifts too.

I like to spray mine white as I also buy limed fir cones from our lovely Fenwick florist here in Newcastle (20p each) so they all sort of match. I've done silver, gold and rose gold in the past, but I prefer the dull white / limed look. I'll get my pine cones out tomorrow and take a photo so you can see what I mean.

Thank you. We love working with beeswax as it has a smell all of its own and it is lovely working with something totally natural with no artificial fragrances.

Your Chilli jam looks amazing. I've been making mine for 30 years and I can't even remember where the original recipe came from, but it's changed a lot over the years.

Ah this sounds lovely! Thanks for tip!
The top is sadly not glass- it's a weird corrugated plastic with one of the panels not quite meeting so there's a drip 🙄
I'm not selling it here am I, the previous owner was a dodgy builder fella so I've inherited a lot of shoddy work- it's a good reminder to fix the dodgy panel though which is on my list, and I reckon lights at the top will look lovely either way 😀

Dunelm have a good selection of cotton napkins, and they are very affordable.

I’ve read along for a couple of years, but working less hours now so feel this year is a good year to join in if you don’t mind.

The first thing I want to ponce this year is some air dry clay gift tags. Must forage the garden for some leafy bits to deboss them with.

They are weirdly particular about temperature and light levels - you've done well to keep it alive though, I've had them drop all their leaves before because they didn't like being carried from the car to the house in a chill! Best to get a new one every year though for the lovely red

ny gran’s poinsettia used to last ages red leaves and everything. We reckon it’s because her radiators were always on and the lounge was always boiling. I am not having the heating on in the height of summer

I’m joining in - as second child has left for uni, I need to have the mother of all Christmases to keep them coming back!

I’ve got one. As I am gluten free, I had to think about it. I also don’t like cranberry sauce. No one here eats it so what’s the point. However, apple goes with turkey so I gave it a go. I also make the gravy using cider.

Parboil some Arborio or carnarole rice. Fry off some minced pork - I buy 100g. Mix together with grated apple, some sautéed celery and leek. Don’t be shy with the apple. Some chopped walnuts. I use thyme, some salt, pepper and nutmeg. Whisk an egg and stir some through. Use more if you think it’s needed.

Stuff loosely up the bum and slide your hand under the skin at the neck to make more space and stuff that, too. Tuck the parson’s nose in and tie the legs together over.

I cook my turkey on the Weber so any extra stuffing can go in a bowl in the drippings tray.

Weirdly, my Mum's Poinsettia used to thrive in her freezing cold porch, or on her unlit slate fireplace. This was decades ago though. Nowadays, they all just die. I totally cba with high maintenance plants so I just don't bother. Mum has an artificial one these days.

I seem to have gone awry with seasonal poncing and just keep walking through the front door and sticking random stuff in a vase. So far, I have springtime pussy willow, a couple of teasles and some pheasant feathers. At one point there was also corn involved, but it started to get confusing. Conkers are also scattered everywhere at the minute.

Thank you!

Huzzah!!! Poncing vicariously this year as we are - rather trashily - spending Christmas somewhere hot with free flowing cocktails. I may join in properly soon for some poncey home made gifts.

Good evening! Last year I did a bit of a crap job on Christmas for various reasons. This year I’m long term sick so have some time so I’m going to start some planning and crafting. I’ve got some half finished hand embroidered beautiful baubles I’m going to dig out tomorrow.

last year my husband persuaded me into a turkey crown. He did the shopping as I was very unwell, I’ve had Aldi turkeys before but I go for the most expensive. He bought a very blg standard turkey crown. It was not my usual standards.

So I’ve asked locally (in January so fresh in the mind), for local butchers recommendations. No idea when I need to order, it’s been some years since we did the butchers and it was well in advance. I’m considering buying a Sunday joint from each of the recommendations to road test, to some degree, the meat.

im also thinking about my table layout. We are considering moving our family room into our dining room, our family room is one end of our sizeable kitchen. I’m not sure how I fe about it as I like going into our small but perfectly formed dining room and not seeing the meal detritus.

im going to start running down the freezer so I can start my freezing for Christmas, gravy, braised cabbage, vegetables, stuffing. This year I’m going to make and freeze a range of breakfast and baked goods so that we can have lots of easy treats. I’m considering making croissants and pain au chocolat from scratch and seeing if they freeze.

@RainbowZebraWarrior love the matt white dried hydrangea/pine cones idea, very scandi. I've got some matt white spray lurking in my utility so I'll start some experiments at the weekend.

I can start my poncetastic food shopping very soon as I have just had an email from Ocado saying I can book my Christmas delivery slot next week!

Very excited by this thread - the last two Christmases have been a bit strange for us as a family and this is the first one in 3 years where I will be in my own place, hosting and with the correct family all around me!

I need to start the annual autumn freezer clear out to make room for prep!

Yes I've had the email from Waitrose saying the same, and also an email from Sainsbury's tonight to say that Christmas food is now live.

Link for anyone interested

https://food-to-order.sainsburys.co.uk/category/all-christmas-food?cmpid=email&utm_medium=email&utm_source=email&utm_campaign=250917_CFTO_Ema1_JS_29&utm_custom1=250917_CFTO_Ema1_JS_29&utm_custom2=Digitalprops&src=email&utm_content=Heropod_Cta&utm_source=sfmc&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=250917_CFTO_Ema1_JS_29&utm_term=%25%25%3dRedirectTo(%40varBodyCtaURL)%3d%25%25&utm_id=705943&sfmc_id=30108181&gad_source=7&dclid=CLahrLTC4I8DFfGvzgEdfbohTA

@MumOfTheMoos good to hear you will be in a good place this year. Happy poncing!

I've checked my pantry and still have last year's mincemeat, Christmas cake and Christmas pudding so nowt to do on that score. My Dad has just tipped me off today as to the whereabouts of some laden blackthorn bushes locally, so I'm going out in the morning with a large bucket to forage. I'm not keen on sloe gin, personally, but Mum and Dad love it, so I'll make some as part of their Christmas gifts.

I've been meaning to make home made whipped hand and body butter for ages. Finally got round to it tonight, so that's some more gifts sorted. Cost next to nowt as I used our own beeswax and honey. Just had to add some mango butter, olive oil, coconut oil, vitamin e capsules and essential oil (Lavender and Frankincense) Very happy with it.

Here's the various stages of the process. <note to self: must write down the recipe before I forget it>

Hello everyone, so glad to have found you all again. I'm planning on making more felt ornaments for the tree this year (last year's are on my insta page if anyone wants a look). Not sure what else I'll be doing this year as I also have mincemeat and a pudding left from last year.

I use lavender and frankincense oils in almond oil every evening to cleanse my face with. I love the smell!
The recipients of these gifts a lucky sausages!

I went to our local Action store (like a French Home Bargains) and they’ve got the most incredible seasonal candles in stock. I went for Vanilla Late and they literally smell like buttery sugar biscuits!
I also bought a 45cm tall green glass Christmas tree that has lights inside. It’s going to look great on a little windowsill in our living room.

I really need to get back to the crafting but the marmalade I want to make keeps calling me. Along with the potential of marmalade gin to go alongside the spice pear vodka.

Ah it warms my heart when I see this thread every year, I’m here for it!

one baked bean can down, and one injury!
9 more to go until I can start my mini christmas cakes...

Oh the candles sound amazing! I'd also love to see your glass tree as that sounds rather charming too ❤️ Great minds think alike with the Frankincense and Lavender oils. I've always loved the combination.

I've survived the yearly duel with the blackthorn bushes and have come back handsomely rewarded with sloes. I couldn't believe how laden they were this year. I'd have had more, but DD was whinging (I'd taken her out for some fresh air as she's been poorly with tonsillitis). I also snaffled some hops. Might go back tomorrow. Must now go back out for gin and get these sloes a soaking.