Poncetastic Christmas 2025

[welikebeingcosy]

Added by MNHQ upon request:
OK, first of all, I know it's still September but we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.The days are getting shorter, the leaves are starting to brown, that can only mean one thing- it's time to ignore the waves of Halloween decor all over your local The Range and head to the woods to start picking your own holly for that perfect Kirsty inspired wreath.

We want homemade stuffing recipes perfected by November, the handmade crackers draped in the most delicate of embroidered ribbon, mantle pieces draped in the most Scandinavian of wooden carvings, specialised stamps for the personalised wrapping paper ordered by next week and the word craft to be your official middle name by new year.

Happy ponceing and may Nigel and Nigella's fairy lights guide you on your way to getting the last box of rosemary and sea salt crackers in your own personal Bethlehem.

I went down a total rabbit hole with cotton napkins last year and became rather obsessed with them. Got some beautiful ones in the sale from Anthropologie and also bought some gorgeous vintage ones from ebay.

I see Anthropologie have a few on offer at the moment.

https://www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/search?q=napkins

I've used Good Housekeeping's Ultimate Christmas cake recipe for almost 35 years now and swear by it, but I also made the Good Food classic one last year which I would highly recommend (gets hundreds of 5 star reviews) To make it alcohol free, you can soak the fruit in Earl Grey tea or alcohol free Guinness. I've done both over the years and the Guinness one was my favourite.

Link to both recipes:

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/food/recipes/a537942/the-ultimate-christmas-cake/

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/make-mature-christmas-cake

I use Nigel Slater's recipe plus a teaspoon of cinnamon. This makes 8x200g bean tins, bake for 1.25 hours at 170°C. The fiddliest bit is lining all the tins.

www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/food-and-drink/recipes/nigel-slater-s-christmas-cake-1.3290210

If you don’t mind @Peculiah, I will join you.

Biscuit?

I still don’t know our plans (whether DH and DD will both come to me from different directions - or DD and I will both go “home” to DH…depends on DD sport and training demands). But I know we will be a trio. Not going to wider family as we will have so much travel already.

I will put a tree up here regardless - I have a small but lovely set of decorations. I have asked DH to put up a tree at home if we are there (he didn’t the first year I was away …and it just added to my general upset that season - there was a lot of other things too but that just tipped me over).

I have some sloe gin quietly doing its thing in a cupboard (I got the berries when home recently). And I have 1 jar of 10 year old mincemeat that I will use this year.

I have lots of ideas for handcrafted gifts - just a lack of time to implement those. But I will try.

Ooh thank you @RainbowZebraWarrior and @ExquisitelyDecorating

I will have a look at both of those. I hadn't thought to try booze free Guinness - that's an excellent idea. I'd used orange juice or tea previously.

Thanks, I might give those a try coz I really love them at Christmas

Hello all, Looking forward to some serious poncing over the next few months!
Christmas cake in a couple of weeks and pickled pears tomorrow (the river cottage ones with mustard seeds). For now, here is a majestic and poncetastic seed head that is gracing my autumnal mantelpiece.

Classic Christmas cake recipe | Good Food https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/make-mature-christmas-cake

I use this one think it's James Martin and it's really good. Got my Christmas pudding vodka brewing away but that's about all I've done so far.

@TheMousePipes what plant has produced that lovely seed head? You’ve just reminded me I should have cut and dried some teasels before this ridiculous rain started.

Nothing in the knitting magazines is inspiring me, I will stick with the blanket I’m making for DDs bed for now. It’s mostly berry shades with cream and sage green, lots of 6” squares. Simple to do whilst watching the rugby.

Been quietly thinking about Poncetastic Christmas for a week or so now. VERY happy to see the ponces beginning to assemble in response to the call….

I’m a halfhearted ponce and last year’s GH Christmas issue might still be at my bedside, but I enjoy the few things I do manage.

Yay!

My poinsettia from last year is amazingly still going. There was always green leaves and I gave it some TLC. However all the leaves have been smaller and never red. Does anyone have any idea whether the leaves will get bigger and turn red in time for Christmas. Part of the attraction of the poinsettias at Christmas is big red leaves

@CrushingOnRubies you have to put them in a cold dark place for a certqin length of time I think to get the red bracts to grow back again. They are attractive even with just rhe green leaves but I must admit I've just got a fake one now.

@TheMousePipes is that an allium? I saved one a couple of years ago, it is in my gardem shed but hasn't got much stem. It is beautiful though.

Got my hyacinths for forcing today. I have three of the glass hyacinth vases. I always used to put them in a cold dark cupboard in the kitchen (against an outside wall) but they were a bit in the way. Then we gutted the kitchen about 4 years ago and put in an Everhot range and it's always warm in there and no suitable spot so I didn't know what to do, no garage and the shed isn't dark as it has big windows. Last year I had the genius idea of putting them in my garden storage bench (one of those plastic ones). We keep picnic chairs and outdoor sports stuff (tennis rackets) in there so it doesn't get disturbed once the weather is cooler so that worked perfectly and they have gone in there again tonight. I'd move them if a really hard frost was forecast but we live in a fairly mild part of the country.

Got some Paperwhite Ziva in the garden centre too, those are always the ones I can ever find without going online.

@ExquisitelyDecoratingahh ok! I’m just proud that I’ve kept a plant alive for a whole year unexpectedly. I might put it somewhere dark, but then worried I might forget about it and it will die.

Yes, I have the same problem with my Christmas cactus which needs a cool autumn to flower but I've got nowhere suitable where it is safe from frost or that I'll remember to water it. Also the same for overwintering pelargoniums. I need a porch.

@PinballWizened nope, I didn't master the church 🤣...that'll come back out soon to try again!

I haven't decided what to do/make yet 🤔. I'm lacking in inspo but might buy a Christmas mag if they're out yet and have a browse for something.

Rescued some teasels before the downpour this morning.

My house is too cold for poinsettia! I tried a couple of years ago. Respect for keeping one going from last year

@lucysmam I have faith that this will be your year 😁

Mincemeat, elderberry vodka and damson brandy all made today

I've set up a brand new email address so the darling cherubs / DC can email their adorable letters ( long lists of demands) direct to the elves...think something like " [email protected] ...
It's already got an overflowing inbox...
The little cherubs are 28/26/23/21...

I've also made cake and mincemeat and planned the whole Christmas week menus.
Including themed dinners with themed decorations to match to represent all the countries we all come from ...( The cherubs have boyfriend cherubs now too...lots of nationalities).

I've ordered stamps and ink to start on my homemade wrapping paper

I also rescued some teasles before the downpour yesterday. but I couldn't bear to cut them all down, so I've left most of them in the front garden as thats where I love to see them best. I did go hunting for some large Allium heads, but I think my gardener has 'tidied them up' Might have to nick some dried hydrangea heads from my Mum and Dad's garden. Wish the rain would stop. It really puts the mockers on outdoor poncing.

Beautiful jars of loveliness there @YuleBeBack I'm starting later with the infused alcohol this year. Went too early last year and felt like my apricots were just mush in my Apricot Brandy. I could always sieve it I guess (always reminds me of Bridget Jones Mum, Pam, and the lumpy gravy)

Love your post @Theredjellybean ❤️

I dropped off a honey delivery for a customer this morning and for the 2nd year running she told me she was making elderberry tonic which is supposed to be amazing for immunity. Considering DD has come down with tonsillitis today, I think it's high time I made some too. Here's the recipe for anyone interested.

https://canningdiva.com/recipes/elderberry-tonic-with-honey-recipe/

I must update my Poncing lists, but I think that beeswax candle and wax melt making has now taken over my life! Here are todays efforts.

Ooh love this ! The lists have started 🎄

We have enough holly trees (variegated and traditional) in the garden for the whole neighbourhood.

My summer wreath has yet to give way to an autumn one (Winter one goes up 1/12)

the log store is full to bursting and I’ve made my own firelighters

Starting knitting Christmas socks and gathering items for stockings (silk, patchwork ones made by my sister)

it’s just us this year although my bah humbug mother in law lives with us (doesn’t like Christmas except for food and receiving presents…) and we are planning a nice brunch, a walk by the river, and then board games/jigsaws and continual buffet/nibbles for the day.

@RainbowZebraWarrior what are you doing with the dried hydrangea heads? I've got lots. Last year I sprayed some gold and made a display, I've also got a vase of different coloured dried ones but im looking for inspiration.