Poncetastic Christmas 2025

[welikebeingcosy]

Added by MNHQ upon request:
OK, first of all, I know it's still September but we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.The days are getting shorter, the leaves are starting to brown, that can only mean one thing- it's time to ignore the waves of Halloween decor all over your local The Range and head to the woods to start picking your own holly for that perfect Kirsty inspired wreath.

We want homemade stuffing recipes perfected by November, the handmade crackers draped in the most delicate of embroidered ribbon, mantle pieces draped in the most Scandinavian of wooden carvings, specialised stamps for the personalised wrapping paper ordered by next week and the word craft to be your official middle name by new year.

Happy ponceing and may Nigel and Nigella's fairy lights guide you on your way to getting the last box of rosemary and sea salt crackers in your own personal Bethlehem.

Anyone else’s cat ruining the bauble placement on the tree?
My two year old has managed to leave it alone but the cat has gone wild!
it’s like watching a festive WWE! 😂
Tree and whiskered thug pictured!

@DanceWithYourBalloon I borrowed DD's set (I'd bought her extra bits of lino separately, maybe that makes a difference). It took me a while to work out the quantity of ink to use (as can be seen in the photos 😂). For the carving itself I had to wear my magnifying led glasses. It's only a small picture, I can imagine doing anything much bigger would hurt my hands too.

My boy cat keeps climbing the bloody tree & trying to eat the bottom branches 🙈. He's a menace! Girl cat is unbothered by it (so far!).

Our cats are older now and don’t pay the tree as much attention as they used to. We do put the nicer glass baubles at the top out of reach though, because the tree is on a table and overhangs a stone hearth and it they drop they smash. Which is a concern for cat safety if it happens when we’re out as well as being a shame about the bauble. Luckily our tree is a random array of multi-coloured baubles and lights so it doesn’t matter too much visually how it’s arranged, so the wooden and fabric etc ones go over the hearth.

Out cat got angry at the tree when she walked in to it, silly girl. She swiped it and got a bushy tail! She has not tried to take any baubles off, thankfully!

I was very excited when I saw there were 20 new post in the hope for more inspiration and photos to enjoy!

I love the kissing bush. My ceiling wreath is a bit pathetic so may ponce it up with greenery on Christmas Eve.
@Trumpton that paragraph sums me up too- but I love it! I remember Fallatio from other threads too but missed this one somehow.

@FurForksSakei give my husband sugar puffs, and my teen kids real crunchy nut cornflakes too.

@AlicePotteryis that a mad cat with a Santa hat??!!

We have a dog and fortunately he ignores the tree. However he keeps carrying off the crocheted nativity characters I am making. So far I have done Mary and Joseph.

@DanceWithYourBalloon those crackers are so lovely.

Indeed it is @Peachypips78, I sketched out the idea on paper first, my pupils know I'm cat mad and love Christmas so it seemed fitting.
I am questioning why on Earth I thought making them for everyone was a good idea though 😅

All done now. Properly tied and fluffed up they look better than I expected! 🫶🏻

I’m glad it’s not just my cat being naughty 😂

Thank you ☺️

You could sell these. Such a cute little picture

"I am questioning why on Earth I thought making them for everyone was a good idea though 😅"

Because you're bound to give one to a child who'd never normally get such a lovely personalised card. :)

I’m afraid I am out from poncing this year. We won’t have a tree at home (no room due to unexpected physical changes needed). No tree here as I am too busy so would be putting it up one evening this week for a handful of days and taking it down once I get back. And no time for crafts etc either.

I will make a proper dinner from scratch. But that’s probably about it this year. It is what it is. (Not being a grinch).

Well we have all gone very quiet!
I Have bought DGS his stick of sprouts!

All poncing finished for now except for making a wreath for my friend this afternoon. She has the base I just need to fling foliage at it!

I am very much a lurker on the Ponstastic threads each year - But stepping out to shamelessly post that I have finally managed to make some gloves from a moth eaten jumper (well frozen & washed first!)

I followed YouTube tutorial

They look great! Well done you.

They look fantastic. Approximately how long did each one take please? Asking as I still haven’t started mine and might have a day I can set aside if that will be sufficient for 8 of them. Thanks

@MargoChanellingBarbara
I did all the cutting out in advance as that took the longest.
Actually sewing everything together took me an afternoon to do 6 of them.
I did the first 3 one at a time to get used to it. But I did the last 6 in batches - so ironed on the interfacing, sewed together the two sides, the Velcro etc all in one go.

I used Knotsandneedlescrafts free YouTube pattern. But you can buy her pattern on Etsy too.

Thank you. I have the wonder cracker pattern, so if anyone can give me the heads up as to how long these take, I should be most grateful.

Ah bless you Biddy. Of course we know you aren't being a grinch. I always think it sounds like you do so much juggling, especially in the last couple of years. Sending you gentle hugs and hope you have a lovely day once you're home and sorted (and a delicious Christmas dinner!)

Very little poncing done here due to physical limitations / chronic pain and fatigue. I'm happy with what I have done though. The Ivy that I trimmed the tree with was beautiful, yet sinple. It has lasted two weeks so todayni am going to chuck it on the fire and replace it with fresh eucalyptus for the remainder of the festive season!

Thanks for that video @Chocolateteabag I buy from a lady on ebay who makes them but I'd love to try making some myself.

Well done as always @Trumpton and I've just had a chuckle at the sprout tree. My father will arrive home from the allotment around teatime on Christmas eve. He will be clutching one or two stalks of sprouts which my mother will be eagerly waiting for. She will then look in dismay at his half eaten by slugs offering and mutter that she could have bought some 'decent ones' for 15p at the supermarket. If I remember, I'll post a pic as they usually are a sight to behold!

They are not quick but work best I find if you do them in batches. I have one left to do as I ran out of fabric and it won't take much less time than making multiple.

I am trying Jamie's make ahead gravy today and also plan on making my cranberry sauce and putting the marzipan on the cake

I have not done much poncing at all, but the Christmas cake will need pinching and the bulbs are shooting Jo, so that’s something!

I will marzipan the cakes today, a trad one and a vegan one. They will the go to dd for the icing to go on as she is a star at cake decorating.
I need to finish altering a dress for tonight as the neck was too low and as I have no boobs it needed the neckline altering.
Full day today, our Mummers are out and about with their seasonal play so DH is playing music for them. This afternoon I am taking a group of our younger dancers to an old people’s home to do folk dancing. It’s amazing how many of the residents remember doing the same dances at school so clearly. Then it’s back to the Mummers for their final performance and onto a Solstice party.
My bulbs need more warmth to gee them up so have moved them into FH study as he is a chilly mortal and has him room really warm!
All presents wrapped and ready to go under tree.
All in fabric bags made from a Christmas duvet cover that I got in the sales.

My paperwhites have just started to open, perfect timing.

@ExquisitelyDecorating
Oh I am so pleased! Mine are very late this year and I can only see one flower bud in 3 containers ! Never had a failure before!