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Christmas

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Original poster

Well meant gifts that didn't hit the mark

478 replies

imnotthatkindofmum · 25/12/2024 10:21

Here's a thread to post your disappointing gifts that you can't be disappointed with in real life! Let off a little steam without upsetting anyone!!

My lovely daughter bought me some novelty earrings. I never wear novelty earrings but she's so proud of them i have to wear them. She was so secured about me opening them but now I have to work out how little I can get away with wearing them so she doesn't realise I hate them!

Also DH only bought what was on my list. It was a cheap and simple list. I would have liked him to choose something he thought I would like. After 22 years not sure why I expect that though!

OP posts:
Solaire18381 · 25/12/2024 17:24

Shouldn't be ungrateful but received several bottles of wine (I'm teetotal) and 3 near identical "Dove" bath sets, all from family members. I still have bottles of wine in the fridge and "Dove" and similar bath sets from last Christmas. Time to gift to charity I guess (but not sure if they would accept the wine?)

leftorrightnow · 25/12/2024 17:26

A book I’ll most certainly never read I got from my sister.

my niece was less excited by the book DD (same age) had picked out for her.

are books just generally bad idea? I hope not as I love books! Maybe it s just hard rig wet it right for someone else

Jk987 · 25/12/2024 17:26

AnnaDelvorkina · 25/12/2024 10:26

DH and I are not exchanging gifts and there is no one else here to give or receive a gift from. It was my birthday in December and also no gifts or cards then (DH’s culture doesn’t give cards but my family’s does.) To be honest I feel like wrapping up my phone charger or a bag of rice just to have something to open and feel a bit festive. We also don’t have a Christmas tree although we do have a card from my Mum.

Try to get a few photos of your novelty earrings, OP, and that way there is a memory of them and don’t have to wear them very often after today.

Why no gifts or scarcely any cards in your life? Is there anything you do celebrate? Every good person deserves something...

Sometimesright · 25/12/2024 17:26

AnnaDelvorkina · 25/12/2024 11:57

@avaritablevampire Oh that’s tricky. I would tell him gently and you can go back to the shop together to pick out ones that you’re not allergic to (and better value for money! You can also sternly eyeball the assistant who ripped off your DP.)

If they even exchange or refund earrings. Lots of places won’t

Reddog1 · 25/12/2024 17:29

If he’s genuinely been scammed by a jeweller he needs to take the earrings back for a refund and threaten Trading Standards if the jeweller demurs, OP.

If he is passing them off to you as legit, this won’t work obvs.

MyOliveBear · 25/12/2024 17:33

“Paint” them with clear nail varnish and they should be wearable.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 25/12/2024 17:37

@WellsAndThistles

All my presents from a fairly close relative were wrapped in bday paper, not sure if that was a silly mistake or a sign their mind isn't working as well as it used to so that's worried me a bit.

Could just be they thought they ran out of actual Christmas paper.

JaneAustensHeroine · 25/12/2024 17:40

Solaire18381 · 25/12/2024 17:24

Shouldn't be ungrateful but received several bottles of wine (I'm teetotal) and 3 near identical "Dove" bath sets, all from family members. I still have bottles of wine in the fridge and "Dove" and similar bath sets from last Christmas. Time to gift to charity I guess (but not sure if they would accept the wine?)

Ditto. Wine and Dove sets here too. I use neither. Everyone knows I don’t drink.

I’m wondering whether a local charity could use the wine for a raffle?

Mimilamore · 25/12/2024 17:42

I got a set of scrubs.... I remarked how practical they were when we last sat in A and E..... they are actually really comfortable, a nice colour and material, great for around the house so I've ended up pleased although I don't work for NHS

LavenderViolets · 25/12/2024 17:43

We don’t swap presents anymore with family and I’m glad tbh. I have an Amazon wish list and DH and I get each other what we actually want. No surprises but just presents we actually want. Gkids get money now so they choose what they want, they’re request not ours.

Parker231 · 25/12/2024 17:51

Hwi · 25/12/2024 14:04

Not just gifts that don't hit the mark. It is disappointing. Christmas has been hijacked by gluttony, consumerism and selfishness. Where I come from, Christmas and Christians have a long history of persecution. I am bewildered of no posters asking 'what presents did you give Him' this year? Even more amazed of somebody complaining their childhood Christmases are a bad memory because they had to go to church with their parents. Genuinely surprised that for somebody else's birthday people expect to be receiving gifts like it is the main point. I am almost fully sucked into this madness (gluttony, selfishness, consumerism) as well, because of dh part of the family, and I hope that I don't lose this sense of something wrong happening on this day.

We’re atheists so the religious aspects are irrelevant to us. It’s a celebration but of family, parties, good food and drinks - and presents 🎁

Grammarnut · 25/12/2024 17:55

AnnaDelvorkina · 25/12/2024 10:26

DH and I are not exchanging gifts and there is no one else here to give or receive a gift from. It was my birthday in December and also no gifts or cards then (DH’s culture doesn’t give cards but my family’s does.) To be honest I feel like wrapping up my phone charger or a bag of rice just to have something to open and feel a bit festive. We also don’t have a Christmas tree although we do have a card from my Mum.

Try to get a few photos of your novelty earrings, OP, and that way there is a memory of them and don’t have to wear them very often after today.

My ex-DH came of a similar culture. We celebrated the festivals of his culture (though he was an atheist) and mine. Presumably, you don't want a Christmas tree? And just because DH's culture did not do birthdays etc that didn't mean I put up with no presents. We celebrated according to my culture - which he was happy to do. (It wasn't a cultural clash that caused breakdown).

HoppityBun · 25/12/2024 17:55

avaritablevampire · 25/12/2024 11:09

Dh actually put some effort in this year, but he's been totally ripped off, and so I don't quite know what to do! He's bought me some opal gold stud earrings, problem is they're not gold, and they are fake opals. (I don't care that they're fake, as they are still pretty, but because they're not gold I can't wear them as I have a nickel allergy...nickel was supposed to have been banned as a base metal for this reason), but he was so excited to get me something he thought I'd love with no prompting, I really don't know what to do. I know he spent good money and has been totally had. Fuckwit who sold them to him must have known.
If I tell him they're nickel, he'll be gutted and feel miserable he's been had, if I say they are lovely he'll want me to wear them...currently already have a pair in, so I need to think this through carefully... Christmas dilemma!

You have to tell him and say how much you appreciate the thought. It might just be possible to turn them into a pendant or something that you can wear?

KohlaParasaurus · 25/12/2024 18:02

My former PILs were difficult to buy for because they didn't have any hobbies, didn't enjoy treats and luxuries, and didn't collect anything, but not buying them a present would have been unacceptable. Among the well intentioned presents I chose that missed the mark were a box of expensive chocolates ("we can't eat those, it would be like eating money"), a year's subscription to Woman & Home magazine, and a set of towels that matched their bathroom ("the towels we've got are fine").

housethatbuiltme · 25/12/2024 18:04

@hwi Christmas was tacked on to pre-existing celebrations in many cultures, here in the UK it was plastered over our Pagan holiday and many of those traditions (that have nothing to do with Christianity) still exist. Almost all winter festivals at the core have gifting and feasting as a main part. Its not new and no one 'lost sight' of anything.

sparkletin · 25/12/2024 18:05

housethatbuiltme · 25/12/2024 18:04

@hwi Christmas was tacked on to pre-existing celebrations in many cultures, here in the UK it was plastered over our Pagan holiday and many of those traditions (that have nothing to do with Christianity) still exist. Almost all winter festivals at the core have gifting and feasting as a main part. Its not new and no one 'lost sight' of anything.

Pagens always seem angry to me

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 25/12/2024 18:07

imnotthatkindofmum · 25/12/2024 13:00

Bear in mind this is the man that when the kids were small 3 years in a row I said all I want is a day to myself where I don't have to come back home and then pick up all the stuff that didn't get done when I wasn't here. It's not like I've never told him.

Every year I say "buy me something nice too" he never does 🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

You are going to have to spell it out in words of not more than one syllable!

FortWalton · 25/12/2024 18:12

I know it's not about the money, but we have recently given a very close relative £250, £100 for her, £100 for her older DC for Christmas and £50 to buy things for her newborn (expected imminently)

Her response? A small box of biscuits, a box of teabags and a school photo of her feral DC. She's known me nearly 25 years, so she knows I'm gluten free and don't drink tea!

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 25/12/2024 18:12

Cerealkiller4U · 25/12/2024 13:45

My father died 2 days ago….i haven’t been able to do anything as he’s in a different country and I spent almost all of December away.

I was so blessed though as my young kids totally understand why they barely got anything and it makes me want to cry

we normally don’t buy each other a material gift each. We normally buy esch other ‘memories’ this year I was going to buy me and my youngest a hack out in a horse and for my eldest she wanted to ride in a hot air balloon.

i managed to get them some really small silly material gifts but I didn’t have time to organise anything and in guttted.

im so glad my DH understands why he got nothing and the kids did too!

Sorry for the loss of your dad x

Rowansiskin · 25/12/2024 18:12

AlwaysGinPlease · 25/12/2024 11:53

Another bloody gift voucher from someone we always make a lot of effort for with Christmas and birthdays. Retired and fully mobile so no excuses. Very close family member. No more effort will be made. Pisses me off every year that they can't be arsed to put any thought into gifts. Ever.

Same here though they are younger but just can’t be arsed. And the gift voucher for me was apparently emailed but hasn’t come through so I haven’t actually received anything. We’re going to tell them we’re not buying for them any more.

Maybepossibly22 · 25/12/2024 18:14

DH and I decided against Christmas presents for each other this year as it’s the first Christmas with 2 DC. My DP’s always just transfer money into my bank account on Christmas morning, we see them Boxing Day and oh how I wish they’d rather just think of something that I would like rather than just cash. It’s not about the cost, it’s about the thought for me. I’d much rather something lovely like a well recommended book for £10 than £100 of emptiness. But that just shows how little they know about me, they have no interest in me as an adult which is quite sad really.

Redburnett · 25/12/2024 18:16

3 pairs of cheap gardening gloves from DH. Virtually everything else I bought for myself and he wrapped. I pointed out that the last similar pair he bought me as a present are sitting in the garage unused - because I already have good quality gardening gloves that I bought and use all the time (does this man not have eyes?) They are not even the right size. I told him to take them back because I have had years of presents of 'naice' fabric ladies gardening gloves that are not strong enough.

AlwaysPerplexed · 25/12/2024 18:19

This thread has strangely cheered me up.
I hate the colour orange, and DH knows this

In our small town we have a lovely 'arty' shop that has loads of 'stuff' I really love. So I thought - well point him in that direction and whatever he buys will be great - ha

He got me a lovely hand blown glass bowl - as I opened it he said 'what's your favourite colour '. Well I said, you know what it is! (It's blue). Then I looked at him, and said - it's not orange is it?

Well if course it was - it looks like a bowl my mum had. I'm so upset - he knows I hate orange, it's not a LTB thing, just a 'why on earth would he do that' thing.

So it wasn't foolproof - next year I'll send a link. Just as he did!

Stillnormal · 25/12/2024 18:19

roobyred · 25/12/2024 11:26

I feel very ungrateful. I got a voucher for afternoon tea for one. I'm a single parent, quite lonely at times. Actually feel like the gift is tone deaf. It's made me feel quite low. I'm sitting here alone waiting on my kid returning from their dad's. Wish I hadn't opened it. It has accentuated my loneliness.

Ah Im sorry you got this _ youre not ungrateful< it IS tone deaf>

I got a tea set for 1 for my 21st from my parents! Most offensive, and prophetic. Am alone today (with the dog) also - please don't be sad - enjoy the tea if you can, maybe take a nice book or a sketch pad with you or somthing?

Gatecrashermum · 25/12/2024 18:21

A friend gave me an off-brand oodie. I hate it. It's cheap, nasty fabric, in an awful pus green colour.

I'm currently at my fattest and the last thing I want to do is swamp myself in something.

I hate this kind of gift. I'd rather have chocolates or shower gel, this sort of crap is killing the planet. Friend always buys very cheap things - cheapo versions of something nice and says you can't tell the difference. You can. It's the worst kind of consumerism, buying tat.

It hasn't made it out of the car, I'm tempted to take it straight to the charity shop.

I know she meant well but....