If you spend Christmas alone what do you do for yourself?

[Twatalert]

I go first: I bought a winter landscape 1000 jigsaw and THREE kinder chocolate santas. I will make beef stew for myself with dumplings.

Also just had the idea to run myself my first bath in ages.

I'm estranged from abusive family and this is my 2nd Christmas alone, not including COVID Christmasses.

You both sound horrid.

OP didn't ask for suggestions though, that's the point she's making. Her title and post were quite clear, and the very first reply was a suggestion that she didn't ask for. Why can't people read?

OP I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

My Mum does this and loves it. Great atmosphere.

when i spend it alone i watch box sets, eat snacks most of the day, cook myself salmon, talk to my friends on the phone, potter in the garden/greenhouse.

And to add to my earlier post one other thing I’ll probably do on the 25th is turn my phone off.

I don’t want to receive any calls
or texts from anyone as well meaning as they may be, it’ll strangely enough make me feel even more alone to hear from friends.

And most people don’t know I’m spending it alone ,so don’t want any surprise FaceTimes or people asking what I’m doing - I don’t want people feeling sorry for me or feeling guilty that they didn’t realise.

Also it will help me resist the temptation to look at everyone’s social media post.

I am having a roast with all the bits on Christmas Eve, and opening the presents I’ve bought myself, having a long soak, turning the central heating up for once and slobbing out with a new book and chocolate. Christmas Day I’ll open presents from other people, go for a walk unless it’s raining, eat a pile of deli food and watch trash tv. There will be cocktails too.

I won’t be alone this Christmas but have done so several times. I bought lots of expensive food I wouldn’t usually have from places like Waitrose and M&S, including chocolates and desserts. Also bought myself some ‘gifts’ - things I’d been eyeing up but wouldn’t usually justify. On the actual day I wouldn’t necessarilly do anything special, watch TV and play games on my phone mostly. One year I remember going for a walk. I would video call family at some point in the evening usually to exchange pleasantries but wasn’t a significant part of the day. There were a couple of years where I arranged to be abroad but I didn’t strictly spend them alone as I met up with other travellers so celebrated with strangers but not alone, I did really enjoy those Christmases but not sure I would be up for socialising with strangers in the same way now.

@Quietchristmas this is somewhat inspiring, I might actually switch off my phone as well. I worry my 'family' will try to contact me. They didn't get the memo. Denial is something very strong.

I don't want people to feel sorry for me either. In my experience people are just busy with their own lives and that's okay.

Fantastic that some are going to open gifts they got themselves. I didn't get myself gifts, but I have been quite generous towards myself for the past month really. Just to spoil myself a bit and celebrate some personal achievements and the fact that I'm doing so much better emotionally than a year ago!

I'm cooking a full Christmas dinner for the cats and me. I am also planning on drinking, napping, watching shite on TV, and reading. I would LOVE to turn my phone off, I know my family will call and it'll make me feel left out and sad, but if they can't get hold of me then I know they'll worry. I'd feel guilty if my dad was worried as he's quite old now.

I've asked the cats if they have any extra plans they'd like to share. Frankenstein said he is looking forward to having the giblets and turkey neck 🤢 The rest are planning a day of sleeping, eating, zoomies, and licking themselves. Much like usual then!

Nothing respectful about that.

@RumNotRun 😂 the cats will be most spoiled, as they should. Are they going to open presents?

I'm just winging Christmas for the cats this year. I have been so busy, but we will celebrate one cats birthday on Christmas. I'll dish up a menu of treats and cat milk and everyone gets this viral chirping bird toy. Yes, one each 😁

There aren't any presents for any of us, but I do have lots of Dreamies and Bonkers treats stashed away if they still have room after their turkey 😁 We had presents in the Amazon Black Friday week, lots of gorgeous new fleece blankets and heated blankets, all of which are used daily.

The photo is of four of them enjoying two of the blankets (the heated one is underneath and was turned on).

It was a very good idea for someone on their own (which I have been)..You have been very rude to @TotallyTwisted

Because we thought you were anti running and couldn’t think of anything worse so we’re providing an hilarious response. Didn’t realise you were meaning it because the person wasn’t alone. You can’t police who replies to mn thread 😂

I just get the random emails/social media dms from family sporadically throughout the year - and yeah I know it’s not a nice feeling! If you need to turn off your phone definitely do that. Gaslighting is a common feature in abusive or toxic families.

In my experience people are just busy with their own lives and that's okay.

Exactly. I just want to keep my head down and get through the day as happily and peacefully as I can. I will sigh with relief on the 26th 😆

@RumNotRun it's obvious they have the best life in your house!

@Quietchristmas then I hope the day will be peaceful for you. There always is a pang of anxiety, isn't there.

They do.

@Twatalert
I suggest you ignore the trolls on here. They will keep coming and this very useful thread will be derailed if you keep responding to them.

I was one of the people who reacted positively to your response to the first poster and it’s because I also cringed at what she said. And it was NOT because I don’t like running!

I think your OP was quite clear, but I’m glad you reiterated that you want to hear from people who are (or at least were) in a similar situation.

Absolutely agree. Maybe the OP was a bit grumpy, but that comment is callous in the extreme.

Not wanting to make assumptions, but can no-one understand that someone spending Christmas on their own because of an abusive family might be feeling a bit mixed about it? Or indeed someone spending Christmas on their own for pretty much any reason.

So much for the season of goodwill.

Thanks - you too.

There are people who wish they had the guts to spend it alone, but will continue to attend miserable meals with toxic families on the 25th or stay with partners they don’t like/ who don’t like them just to avoid the stigma.

This thread might just inspire some to do something different next year or even this year instead of suffering through a toxic family gathering for the sake of Christmas.

You are doing what’s best for you and your mental health - and that’s certainly something to celebrate on the 25th 🎄 have a great one.

Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. There was nothing respectful about that at all.

@Quietchristmas this is a good perspective on the whole situation. It usually takes a lot of emotional work to set these boundaries and be comfortable with them. In hindsight it was absolutely worth it. I will have a Christmas alone over a Christmas around family on egg shells every time now.

It is a good reminder that Christmas amongst family wasn't a fully relaxing time either. We now get to do what we want at our pace.

I do hope indeed that this thread inspires others to do Christmas and life the way they want.

@Kibble29 😂😂😂 same here

yeah I know what you mean about it not being a relaxing time. Certain adults in my family were very up and down so I never knew what kind of mood /atmosphere I’d be confronted with.

It’s definitely been helpful to me reading about how you and others are going solo at Christmas so thanks for starting the thread.

It’s not always easy to talk about this stuff - even online.