I'm dreading the influx of tat

[Jkoi]

I'm already wondering where on earth we are going to put the influx of tat coming into our house as presents, which sounds so ungrateful, but is true.

Previous years conversations about less buying have fallen on deaf ears. My family do quantity over quality when it comes to gifts. We ask for experience gifts and vouchers (and those are what we generally gift) but get these in low denominations with a sackful of items from B&M accompanying them.
One year I got an autobiography of a reality TV star I wasn't even really familiar with- I thought it was a joke or a mistake and family member said no it was just in B&M so I got it.
Now the items for us go straight back out again, generally donated. However now the kids are old enough to know if we were trying to secretly get rid of toys they'd unwrapped! The toys will mostly be one trick pony press a button toys rather than anything open ended or even particularly aligned to their interests, with a load of soft toys. I'm particularly dreading this year as they have got into Temu in a big way and I'm imaging a load of the kids gifts won't even meet safety standards.

I'm not really looking for a solution as I don't think there's an easy one without causing offence, I have tried making a point about fast fashion items etc going to landfill in the past and they will swear black is white that charities can make money from damaged clothes with holes in. They just don't see anything wrong with buying loads of stuff, either from an environmental perspective or the fact that we practically don't want it!

I used to slowly move things to a holding area. Then remove them from the house.
The kids unwrapped the tat and then I would just put it somewhere else. They never asked for it.

It gets better as they get older.

Can you ask for a gift receipt and then return the gifts?

I have a couple of spaces in our house that are for toys (and I don't mean tiny spaces - basically all the bedroom storage plus some shelves downstairs). Once it gets to overflowing, I say no more toys until there is space. Anything that is gifted can't be played with until there is room to store it.

My child must have 100 soft toys so now it's a one-in-one-out policy.

She's 5 and I would say this has worked since she was 4. Younger than that she didn't really get it and the house was overrun.

I sympathise though, it's hard to keep under control.

My mother goes for quantity over quality too.

I paint with a particular brand of paint and particular fine detail brushes. She’ll buy me a set of giant children’s brushes because ‘they were the same price as one of the ones you use…’

Bayliss and Harding sets knowing full well my skin with dissolve at the mere sight of it (a trait inherited from her) because ‘a whole set was the same price that you pay for one shower gel…’

I’m not bougie. Quite the opposite. But I buy what I buy because it’s what I use.

Then she’ll ask if I’ve used it yet.

This is me.....and also letting them open the box , lose all the tiny plastic bits ( Hoover fodder my dad called it) around the house- and then loose interest

End of the week vacuum.

Mil was totally quantity over quality
We used to buy well thought out presents the kids would love so they never fell for the tat.
I used ti think she did it ti make herself look good...,,,with very little thought for anyone.
Dh often joked ti her it would all be down the charity by Boxing Day.
I felt no guilt when it was ( kids did not care).
Mil soon got the message

The other families kept be given bags and bags of tat

Can you have a pre Christmas clear out so you at least have room for it if you know it’s coming?

I've got away from the heap of rubbish by telling people I'm not buying presents but buying for charity ( buying toys for children charities / food for animal boxes / foodbanks etc ) and saying I'd rather the cost of a present to me being spent likewise.

Why clear out things the OP wants/ likes for crap that she doesn't?

These threads sometimes turn into bunfights about 'ingratitude' but I totally agree with you. It is stressful having masses of unwanted crap around, and it gets overwhelming if you have limited space at home.

I don't want PIL spending their dwindling reserves of cash on random shite we have no interest in. I'd honestly rather they spent it on themselves.

We tried to implement a new family-wide rule of only spending tiny amounts on the adults but it didn't work, they found it more stressful. 🙄

In laws do the same as well 🙈 they do occasionally buy stuff we suggest for the kids but for me and DH it's usually tat and at times I would much rather have nothing at all as it just ends up going in the bin.

It might be a bit late now but in future suggest you do a secret santa. Use an app like Elfster. You can fix a budget that works for everyone and you provide a decent sized list of your own hand picked gift ideas (you can link to specific items so there is no room for error) for people to choose from, so you know you'll get something you actually want but they still get to choose from your list so you get an element of surprise. We do it so that each person just buys for one other person in the group, generated at random by the app, but you could still use the app and buy for everyone if you prefer that.

It works really well for us and we'd never do it any other way now. No more Bayliss and Harding gift sets and novelty slippers you'll never wear. No more wasted money. It's such a relief.

Sadly I don't think Temu dies gift receipts- I don't know if B&M do...

Oh my exactly this! They will scoff if I ask for a luxury food or toiletry item costing £20 but will happily spend £20 on multiple things I don't need or want!

I'm the Grinch granny. Ask parents what to get toy wise, one for each grandchild. Otherwise it's clothes, stationery, books etc. they do get plenty from others.

I don’t think there’s much you can do except bit by bit remove it all to the charity shops …. It does improve as children get older

Wish lists are the way forward! Doing this has saved my family and I a whole lot of grief (and house space!)

@megacat i didn’t mean clear out the OP’s things I meant previous tat the kids had received as presents but I see in the OP they get donated straight away so that won’t work!

It is such a negative aspect of christmas, this pile up of utterly shit junk

You can explain to a relatively young child that stuff doesn't meet safety standards

Your best bet is just to get rid ASAP. Luckily my dc are grown up, but even 15 years ago this was a major problem. It's so wasteful and annoying, but the sooner you get rid, the sooner the problem is gone from your home.

I struggle to get my head around the ritual buying of junk for the sake of it.
This year I’ve specifically asked for “ nothing” in the hope my house won’t be cluttered up again.

Next year, I’m playing safe and taking 2 weeks abroad.

In laws dropped off a shitload of stuff last week. I unwrapped it all. 4 things we already have (but they gifted The Works versions not real versions). 2 things not to my daughters taste. All gone to local charity toy collection today. I don’t even feel bad 😂

My mum does it too. Galling as they are all comfortably retired and we are scraping by. Please give us the cash instead!

DH’s family are like this.

I will ask for a ‘nice’ shower gel that costs £10-15. Someone (MIL or SIL) will make a funny comment about how expensive it is, but I’d much rather receive a smaller bottle of a shower gel I like, rather than a random Boots smelly gift set of the same value 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don’t know the answer. We have suggested multiple times to just buy for the kids, or do a family secret Santa. But “they like buying for us” (which actually means, they like buying what they think we should have, not what we actually want).

I probably sound ungrateful but I find this aspect of Christmas really stressful.

It’s a shame people waste their money on tat and it’s not good for the environment either. Buying people crappy gifts that they don’t want or need, such a waste.

This year I've prevented this by being brutally honest about the amount of shit I've had to throw away and it's been a huge waste of their money and used only once or twice before breaking and not even fit for the charity shop.

My family don't give a fuck about landfill which is depressing in its own right but on top of that I don't want DS to feel like a "good christmas" is one where you get given loads of meaningless junk.

Pointed out to the culprits that they could do the 4 item box of something to eat something to play something to wear and something to read if they really must and I think having that structure makes it easier for them to follow.

I'll probably still get loads of junk but knowing I've changed one or two minds means I'll have a lot less to sift through.

The one thing to be said for cheap tat is that it often solves the problem itself by breaking after 2 uses. It's incredibly frustrating though. I refuse to have anything from Shien/Temu in the house if I can help it, for various reasons, but my in-laws love a big heap of presents!

I tend to suggest specific things that they buy the kids, such as a particular Lego set or something and say that it's that specific one that DC wants because it fits with another one that he already has. That way they can't just go and buy a huge bag of terrible quality tat just because "it was the same price but for way more bricks!".

I also refuse to donate Temu crap to the charity shop because their safety standards are so poor that I don't want any other child to be exposed to it either; sadly it goes straight in the bin.

I'm sure your children and grandchildren are extremely grateful that you are happy to get something requested bu the parents, who know best what the kids want, will use, and have space for.

I don't have many people buying for my kids, but they are like you and buy just what I ask them to, the budget obviously being set by them.

It's so much easier and less stressful for us, and it's really nice because I just make a list of the stuff that year I want the kids to receive, and can allocate out from that, instead of just being given random extra stuff.