I'm dreading the influx of tat

[Jkoi]

I'm already wondering where on earth we are going to put the influx of tat coming into our house as presents, which sounds so ungrateful, but is true.

Previous years conversations about less buying have fallen on deaf ears. My family do quantity over quality when it comes to gifts. We ask for experience gifts and vouchers (and those are what we generally gift) but get these in low denominations with a sackful of items from B&M accompanying them.
One year I got an autobiography of a reality TV star I wasn't even really familiar with- I thought it was a joke or a mistake and family member said no it was just in B&M so I got it.
Now the items for us go straight back out again, generally donated. However now the kids are old enough to know if we were trying to secretly get rid of toys they'd unwrapped! The toys will mostly be one trick pony press a button toys rather than anything open ended or even particularly aligned to their interests, with a load of soft toys. I'm particularly dreading this year as they have got into Temu in a big way and I'm imaging a load of the kids gifts won't even meet safety standards.

I'm not really looking for a solution as I don't think there's an easy one without causing offence, I have tried making a point about fast fashion items etc going to landfill in the past and they will swear black is white that charities can make money from damaged clothes with holes in. They just don't see anything wrong with buying loads of stuff, either from an environmental perspective or the fact that we practically don't want it!

For a while as a new mum I wondered why I'd feel ill at Christmas then realised it's cos I was getting so overwhelmed with all the stuff in the house. My mum is still bad for it but how my child is a teen she is clueless what to buy so tends to lean more towards vouchers thankfully. I do wonder about giving to charity shops though. Do you think they really want all this stuff, especially in the New Year when people are less likely to be buying gifts?

I do exactly this. "Oh this will be perfect for them to play with at your house!"

Keep them somewhere, then give to a local community centre or school for a tombola stall 😊

Omg I feel you on this.
Every year I beg my Mum to reduce the tat she buys, it turns into a huge guilt trip of 'I'm your mother I'll buy what I want', she must suspect it all goes in the charity bag but still likes to buy it. Ive had 10+ compact mirrors with my initial on that I've never used, kids craft sets I'll never use, 6 salt and pepper sets etc or a random perfume that isn't me at all. She loves to buy the junk even when ive told her the stress and anxiety the clutter causes me. One day it would be nice to use shower stuff that I actually bought, rather than the heaps you get for Christmas every year, half of which give me a rash.

Mother in law means well with her gifts but she does us a food/snack hamper each year, expensive stuff that neither of us will eat and is sitting in the cupboard from last year.

Now I'm pregnant it's been an assortment of maternity clothes and random items, once baby is here I'm sure the clutter gifting will continue to worsen...

I've said for many years I'd be very happy (actually happier) to receive nothing, I would rather enjoy the family time together with some nice food.

This is what I need do tell myself. The guilt isn’t mine as I did not choose to buy all the plastic crap! I couldn’t wait to start chucking stuff out last year when people were distracted!

Our local charity shops don’t want it. I was told they only really sell on good brand toys and it’s not worth the space it takes up for them to stock cheap toys that aren’t built to last. I now just start trying to throw stuff out and hope no one notices. I totally understand your feelings but know that if I tried to explain this to in laws they’d think I was at fault.

Well we went through ours today from DHs nan. She actually bought most things that will fit, only a few bits that wouldn’t and we took them to a local charity shop who were very thankful as all brand new with tags.

If you've suggested doing fewer gifts and they're not listening then you just cut down or stop giving gifts. If you receive something you don't want then give it to charity. With children's gifts they're either old enough to know if they don't want something and agree to donate or if they're going they wont miss the gift if they genuinely don't like it or are not playing with it.

I do get what you mean as I don't like tar or buying quality over quality but you do sound a bit ungrateful. Give what you want to give and giveaway any unwanted gifts.

My mil used to be terrible my hubby would always make a comment on how the toys wernt great and tell her if she really wanted to do something pop a small amount in a card so they can put towards a gift they really want but never listened until s few years ago I said to her a month before Christmas that I had found all the toys she had brought from the previous year and they were all still boxed and not touched so I gave them to the charity shop after that she asked the kids what they wanted she still does from time to time buy them a few small crap gifts like a pack of paper haha and pens or a pencil case but they've got that many it's unreal that I just give them away

It does get better as they get older, my eldest ones (10 &12) always get money from relatives now as that’s what they asked for. They each have go Henry cards so we set up gift links, then they can buy exactly what they want, they tend to save for big ticket items rather then waste it.
Our youngest is into a specific hobby, so family tend to either gift money or equipment for it.

For those that have too many teddies and can't get rid of them (our local charity shop doesn't really want them) we donated loads here. Cost about a tenner for send a big bag via Evri but DD had way too many so was well worth it

https://www.lovedbefore.london/donate

I instituted a strict 3 gift limit when my oldest was born for grandparents and they’ve actually respected this. I was very, very clear that this was a firm rule that would be enforced. This year it means one child is getting a lego set, a Pokémon plushie and a box of Pokémon cards and the other is getting two video games and a box of Pokémon cards. Each is also getting a book because books are exceptions to the rule. It has been very stress free to not have mounds of odd toys over the years.

My mother used to buy a crazy amount of gifts for my children. They didn't look at some of the presents as it was too much. My older two had friends birthday parties in the New year so I would re gift what they wouldn't use/play with.
Now I politely say don't buy for the sake of it and he presents are a few each and not random bits and bobs. Id rather she saved some money too. X