"Pot luck" present for middle aged woman

[redskydarknight]

A group of friends I meet up with regularly have decided to do a "pot luck" for Christmas presents i.e. like Secret Santa, but you are not given a specific person to buy for, you just need to buy a generic present that will be assigned at random.

I hate these things with a passion because I can never think of anything to get, while everyone else seems to manage to get well thought out unique gifts.

So hoping someone has some good suggestions for me?
The group consists of women from mid 40s - mid 60s; and budget is max of £10.

A nice notebook or travel journal, windowsill herbs, a woodwick candle...definitely not toiletries as by this age people often know what suits their skin and stick to that

I'd feel so sad if I got some secondhand jigsaw from a charity shop. I hate doing jigsaws and would feel squeamish about the germs of unknown fingers all over the pieces of the puzzle.

Just shows how different we all are.

I'd love an amaryllis or hyacinths but have heard other people say that would be unimaginative.

Burts bees lip balm

I don’t want any of the following:

Scented candle (especially not woodwick, I hate the crackling sound)
Socks, gloves, scarves of any description but especially not wool as I can’t wear it. I only wear plain black socks or white trainer socks and especially hate novelty ones or fluffy ones that mean you can’t get your feet in your shoes.
Any sparkling wine
Reed diffusers, there are very few I like
Thermal mug - got several already
Hot water bottle - I have an electric blanket
Amaryllis - ugly
Mug and hot chocolate - got gazillions of mugs and virtually never drink hot chocolate, if I do I am fussy about it and don’t want flavoured ones
Baileys - makes me heave
Any food from TK Maxx, as a pp says, no idea about the provenance, quality etc

Really a giftcard for cinema, coffee shop, or bookshop would be the best thing by far for me.

I like the idea of local honey or olive oil. I was going to suggest a visit to the local farmshop - ours does their own jams, chutneys, biscuits, apple juice etc so it's quite easy to build a mini hamper of 3-4 items for £10. They also sell fruits in alcohol (e.g apricots in amaretto) from a local preserving company (£7).

Alternatively: I am always thrilled to be given a good pen that flows nicely. This could be a cute legami one or something more practical looking.

I love the ‘a woman of a certain age’ mug idea. 😂

I’ve bought a friend a sweary keyring from here https://chiswickgiftco.co.uk/search?q=keyrings&_pos=2&_psq=keyrin&_ss=e&_v=1.0

what about a nice bottle stop (regular or one of those vacuum ones for sparkling wine)

I like a nice soap or quality pair of socks.

a personalised calendar with photos of the group, and all your birthdays recorded on it from photobox or similar (if they run any promotions before Christmas)

any local Christmas fairs coming up? I went to one at the weekend, and I was pleasantly surprised to find some really reasonably priced nice hand made jewellery.

Nice easy present giving for you, then. Plenty of future tombola prizes ensured if recipients don't share your love of the overpowering smell. Win win, in a way.

I dont know why you feel the need to be so rude. I am not gifting them because I think they won’t like them - I’m gifting them because I think they will. If they don’t that’s fine. I won’t be heartbroken.

I hate lush products and am amazed people think them suitable for middle aged woman as they are famous for irritating the skin with their overpowering scents and glitter shit, causing UTIs and cystitis which post meno women are susceptible to. Next to asthma- inducing Lynx, they are my most loathed body products.

Good grief, so many people on here with their long, long lists of what is completely unacceptable to them as a gift! All the snippy ‘straight to a charity shop or freecycle…no one drinks Prosecco any more…’ responses.

The OP is on here trying to make sure she chooses something that will please the recipient and now probably feels that whatever she gets will be slightly less welcome than if she’d popped a dog turd into a lunchbox and handed that over.

There have been LOADS of lovely suggestions that are perfectly acceptable for this kind of gift-giving, OP, and anyone who doesn’t accept it in the spirit in which it’s meant is just churlish.

The only thing I’d have to regift would be the Lush bath bombs but anything else on here would be grand. I’d actually LOVE the Gregg Wallace ‘middle class woman of a certain age’ mug 😁

Or maybe it’s just saying here what you can’t say in real life, that we get tired of all the waste when we are given generic, “middle-aged women” gifts. Thankfully my workplace ditched Secret Santa a few years ago so there is less of it here now.

I know olive oil is expensive, but what a shit present. Would this be a gift for a middle age man too? I doubt it

This was basically my brief last year for DCs teachers/child minder/dog walker (that's for the dog, not the child, although I would totally employ someone to take him to the park for me between October-March. Anyway, I digress...)

They got a pair of socks (decent middle class ones obvs, bamboo or unicorn fur or something) and a costa coffee voucher. Went down very well!

I’d love it and so would most men I know. Only issue is that good olive oil costs more than a tenner.

This thread is a real insight into different tastes. Genuinely don’t think there’s a gift everyone would like so you may as well go for something you like, op.

This proves how tricky it all is!
Food gifts from tkmaxx are completely safe for human consumption. We all know it's not Fortnums though.
The one gift on here I would baulk at would be a hot water bottle! I haven't used one since I was a child and my parents didn't have central heating, plus there were frequent power cuts. Not a happy memory!
Oxfam do some nice gifts, although I know some people disagree with them as an organisation.

I would politely thank for any gift and 95% of the ones mentioned here would be re-gifted, binned or given to a foodbank/charity shop.

Why not suggest to stop it and say you call meet in February again for coffee/tea in a local cafe and catch up after Christmas?

The only recent Secret Santa suggestion I found vaguely helpful was a small mini umbrella you can keep at the office, car boot or similar for emergencies.

mini umbrella - great idea!

Why does it matter that the recipient is middle aged....... as opposed to young, getting on a bit, elderly, old or even older?

Signed yours, 'quite old'...

To be honest I hate it and would politely decline to take part if I could think of a way of doing so without it sounding scrooge like.

I've just remembered that the gift I got last year was put in a drawer and never taken out again :) So I'm probably overthinking.

I'd like posh biscuits or some warm socks

Lush do a brilliant exfoliator called Happy Skin. My middle aged skin loves it. You can get little pots for about £10.

Have to agree with you there. I genuinely just don't see the point of it all. It's buying for the sake of buying. I don't want more stuff and most of my friends don't either. The very few things that I do want, I prefer to choose and buy myself.
Might not be in the spirit and all that, but in life in general I am generous I just prefer not to jump on the consumerist bandwagon just because it's Christmas.

What did people get last year?

Because people do have different tastes and interests at different ages?
And because if you are considering a generic gift (as per this thread) any understanding of the target recipients is useful.

I probably wouldn't buy the same generic gift for my young adult daughter's friendship group (18-20) as I would my group of friends.

I'm 63 so at the upper end of your age range...

I like the idea of nice local cheese and chutney.
Wine is fine.

Wouldn't say no to chocolates or biscuits - I'd like a very small pack of something special. A real treat rather than a sugar rush iyswim.
Or pretty much any small houseplant. Orchids need minimal attention.

The mug design being discussed is of course available on Etsy but over budget

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1821675728/middle-class-woman-of-a-certain-age-mug

Absolutely not any hand creams or candles, and I'm in the camp that has to cross the road or sprint past a Lush shop.