Let’s talk about having a quieter Christmas!

[chickennoodless]

Morning lovely mumsnetters!

I’ve had a particularly stressful year - started a complete house renovation, upped my hours in work, DP is now working a lower paid job, I’m caring for an elderly relative twice a week and we brought home a very sick rescue kitten 3 weeks ago.
safe to say I’m exhausted stressed and have less money than last year!

Christmas for us usually is…

one trip away either London, Europe or Devon/Cornwall. All decs up December 1st, Several Christmas shows concerts lightwalks etc, adults Christmas parties, homemade gifts, I also make 6 Christmas cakes for us and family.

Christmas dinner is 5 courses, 3 meats and all the trimmings. I then make a special lobster meal for Christmas Eve. I make special trips to different butchers delis etc for the above. I cook all this In between visiting family on those days.

I then organise the school Xmas fayre and help with the Christmas show. I can’t pull out of either of these due to guilt!

We usually attend most of the local church fayres and grottos.

I desperately need to cut back on what we’re doing this year!

if you are the master of a quieter Christmas please help me!

If money is tighter than normal I'd consider skipping some of the things that cost money: for example church fayres. They are a wonderful way for churches to raise money, but can be expensive as you may feel an obligation to spend money . I spent at least £50 at our fayre last year, and that doesn't include the money I spent on craft and baking supplies to support the fayre.

Christmas cake is also an expensive ans time consuming thing to make (especially 6 of them) so I'd make this the year that you stop them.

Plan one thing per weekend so for example

1st Dec tree up
7th Dec Carol Service
14th Dec Christmas Lights Tour
21st Dec panto

Prep in advance as much as you can, so as my family like a roast dinner I tend to prep something for Christmas Dinner each week. Last weekend I did extra Yorkshire puddings, they freeze beautifully, I've already made stuffing, roast potatoes so the dinner prep is easy. I've also got several other dinners already to defrost and pop in the oven.

I've gradually pared back what we do (and spend) over Christmas and it is far more enjoyable because there is much less stress.

Get a pizza Xmas eve. Guarantee the kids will be delighted!

Same here. Five courses?? Getting all the dishes for the main course onto the table all hot at the same time is hard enough!

@Sortalike Having one thing planned for each weekend is a lovely way to look at it.

Can anybody recommend a frozen supermarket red cabbage? Is M&S the best?

https://www.redonline.co.uk/christmas/a62898007/how-to-have-stress-free-christmas/?utm_campaign=trueanthemFBREDUK&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR1U7Q8m5g4qpVLCN5Q8H37UlwIYs1LxvQ3CLJBVBRcRgDRkDMF9CiMlV94_aem_x_XbomesCPcJuNCZZRhNDw

@gingercat02

This thread is for people who have a quiet Christmas. That is not the majority of people. Therefore, few would wish 2 weeks off work. Thus, your issue with requesting annual leave would be for only a few eliminating your issue.

@chickennoodless did you see my recommendation to use an online specialist butcher? Just as reliant on your Christmas business as the ones local to you, high quality, and will deliver to your house. There are a few I’d recommend, still taking orders.

If you aren’t sure what to drop, ask your family what their favourite things are about Christmas- they will probably surprise you and half the stuff you do won’t be a precious memory. Keep your and their best bits and try a year without the rest.

in 2020, we were isolating for 4 weeks ( repeated exposure ) until Christmas Eve, had been locked down in November and hadn’t been able to get an online food shop either. We had to sort Christmas on Christmas Eve and it had to be hugely simplified. It was still lovely, and I’ve dropped a lot of what we used to do since then, or simplified it. I enjoy it much more and no one else really notices the difference!

I thought we went all out for Christmas.
We do a family visit before Christmas, this year on the weekend of the 14th.
Family meal if not hosting Christmas, in a restaurant.
I usually make Christmas cake but I hate the decorating so DH is going to do last year's.
Christmas eve meal is usually a meatball lasagne or fish pie , but it can be different if there's only 3 of us.

Christmas dinner merge starter and fish. I quickly sauté prawns in garlic and chilli and serve it with salad and breadsticks. Takes all of 5 minutes.

I'd certainly cut down on the meat. Last year we had roast lamb Indian style and takeaway veg from our local takeaway.

We tend to have pudding around 7-9 pm .

A roast and a pudding is plenty for Christmas lunch! Why not have the other courses on various other days to spread out the enjoyment and workload?

I say this from experience. You are the Christmas martyr.

I know you think everyone loves all these marvellous things you do and all the back breaking effort you put it, and they'd all be really let down if you didn't do it all.

Sorry to break it to you, but they really don't appreciate it half as much as you think. Don't get me wrong they don't dislike it, they'll happily absorb all the stuff you do and plan and plonk in front of them.

If you stopped 80% of it, they'd shrug and be fine.

Taking just the food on the day, I used to do: various meats, allllll the extravagant sides, choice of starter, various pudding options, huge cheese and charcuterie board. Full evening buffet. Canapés on arrival.

I'd tell myself how fabulous I was making everyone's day. And that I was clearly being viewed as fabulous, look how clever I was, doing all this. Until one year instead of doing poncetastic canapés, I did a round of sausage rolls and mince pies, that I'd premade, frozen then simply cooked as people were arriving. I got exactly the same "ooh, these are lovely" as I did over the canapés that took me hours.

Now we have one meat, simple sides, and the cheese and charcuterie comes out in the evening instead of a full buffet. No one's said a thing, are just as happy, and I spend my day with my children not in the kitchen.

Trust me, stop being a martyr. You're only doing it for you.

That sounds like a Christmas telly ad / good food mag Christmas - I couldn't possibly manage anywhere near that much!
Drop the Christmas Eve lobster for a start - we started having a Chinese takeaway a few years ago, or we put something easy in the slow cooker whilst we're out and about.
1 or 2 trips out and a pared down Christmas dinner of 2 - 3 course max is plenty. Christmas is supposed to be about spending time with loved ones, not running yourself into the ground!

I have a quieter xmas nowa days as i was becoming exhausted..cut down on the 5 courses and just do what u enjoy ..see if people can help u ...my xmas dinner guests help with bringing red cabbage etc.
I also buy ready made bits now ..
Good luck xxx

Don't do the cakes ( If not already done )
Eat out this Christmas .
Don't feel obliged to attend every Christmas occasion .

DD can tend to become a bit overwhelmed by having lots planned, so we've found that just one event over a weekend is enough for her to cope with (and to be honest I find it overwhelming sometimes too)

You mentioned red cabbage, I buy M&S and freeze it, I'm not especially keen on it, but those that do say it's lovely.

Great update OP, sounds like you are really loved and appreciated and supported and like you are going to have a great Christmas, enjoy!

Look Yvonne, we've been telling you for years you do far too much. Drop the rope! You won't, obviously.

(convinced this is my sister in law)