Let’s talk about having a quieter Christmas!

[chickennoodless]

Morning lovely mumsnetters!

I’ve had a particularly stressful year - started a complete house renovation, upped my hours in work, DP is now working a lower paid job, I’m caring for an elderly relative twice a week and we brought home a very sick rescue kitten 3 weeks ago.
safe to say I’m exhausted stressed and have less money than last year!

Christmas for us usually is…

one trip away either London, Europe or Devon/Cornwall. All decs up December 1st, Several Christmas shows concerts lightwalks etc, adults Christmas parties, homemade gifts, I also make 6 Christmas cakes for us and family.

Christmas dinner is 5 courses, 3 meats and all the trimmings. I then make a special lobster meal for Christmas Eve. I make special trips to different butchers delis etc for the above. I cook all this In between visiting family on those days.

I then organise the school Xmas fayre and help with the Christmas show. I can’t pull out of either of these due to guilt!

We usually attend most of the local church fayres and grottos.

I desperately need to cut back on what we’re doing this year!

if you are the master of a quieter Christmas please help me!

Observe Advent. No Christmas 'stuff' unless school or church related.

Gifts - stick to books. Young children - book and related toy.

Christmas Tree as only decoration. Put it up on Christmas Eve in the morning and go to Christingle in the afternoon. Picnic dinner under the tree.

Take 2 weeks off work.

See friends, go for long walks, play board games, family jigsaws, watch Christmas films, go to the Panto, celebrate Hogmanay & Ne'er Day, have a Twelfth Night party, etc.

Rest. Stop. Just be with those you love.

@PastaAndProse I'm with you on all that

LOLing at 2 weeks off work @HarrietBond , I'm not sure the NHS would cope with that, but I do agree with lots of your post. Tree up a week before here, a few garlands, lights, and about 6-10 small Christmas ornaments and Santas.
DS is too old for Christmas things now but DM and I do carols, a light thing and a Christmas market.

I didn’t suggest that?

Oops wrong tag, sorry 😞
Thar was for @stargirl1701

We (family of 4) do one paid for Xmas event in early Dec, one family weekend away, tree and Deccies up in mid Dec, nice pasta meal on Xmas eve for whoever is staying, house guests (x5 or x 7) either 4 days over Xmas or between Xmas and NYE. 2 course Xmas dinner with 2 meats and a home-made veggie main. I buy-in Xmas pud and custard. Boxing Day is brunch, salmon, eggs, avocado and then dinner is leftover meat with huge bubble and squeak. And sandwiches if anyone needs supper. We usually go for a walk together and play games.

Plenty of fizz, wine and liquors throughout!

No hand-made gifts or cards, but everything beautifully wrapped with nice paper. I buy mince pies, chocolate log, trifle, Stollen etc from supermarkets. Nice cheese from somewhere fancy.

This year we’re dropping the weekend away as we’re going in Jan instead.

DH and I both work full-time. This is as much as we can (and want) to do

We order a big seafood platter for Christmas Eve. All we need to add to it is some smoked salmon and good bread and butter. Could that replace your lobster?

This is the best sentence I have read on Mumsnet for a while.

Bless you OP. You sound exhausted and like you have had a bit of a rough time recently. Absolutely let us help you simplify Christmas a bit. Maybe leave the trip to London / Europe until a point where next year that might feel more manageable. Give the Christmas concerts / light walks a miss or perhaps just pick one to do.

You don't need to do handmade gifts or Christmas cakes. Cut back Christmas dinner to max three courses and perhaps have the lobster at another time. Maximise online gift ordering / wrapping services as much as possible. Opt out of the school fares etc

Focus on looking after yourself and your husband and your elderly relative and your little kitten.

Excellent! Where do you order this from?

You do a lot for others. That's really generous. I'd say don't be apologetic, don't feel guilty. Just state 'I've had a really demanding year. I'm looking forward to a pared down Christmas.

I would do Panto, roast dinner Christmas Day and that's it ! Definitely not 5 courses.
Christmas Eve either party food that you can chuck in the oven or a take away

It still doesn't mean you have to cook them all, and certainly not all on one day.

This is really sensible, and closest to our Christmas. I used to wonder if we were missing out on big family get togethers but there are fewer of us now and we like a stress free Christmas, so we're sticking with it!

@gingercat02

How would it be any different to 2 weeks annual leave in July?

Why do posters feel the need to be nasty and post personal attacks on what was a perfectly innocent request for advice ?

In the nicest possible way, I'd be full before the turkey course. You're cooking so pick the one meat you'd enjoy the most and lose the fish course. (Not sure I've ever come across this as a separate course for Christmas dinner).

Because everyone doesn't have the same 2 weeks off in the summer. We are allowed one week or the other at Christmas and Easter. No discussion at all. You can't have a few days of both weeks.
We are outpatients, so thankfully, we don't work on bank holidays, but obviously, ward staff do. There has to be safe staffing 24/7 365 days a year.

@gingercat02

But...not everyone wants a quiet Christmas. Not everyone even celebrates Christmas. I think quiet Christmas folk will be in the minority.

You need to remember that all of this is optional.
Think carefully about what you like doing what you have time for, and what brings you joy. They might like something but no-one is going to have a crap Christmas because of a shop bought cake or only one choice of meat.

It just doesn't matter, they love you, not the dinner. Much more fun to spend time with someone who is relaxed and happy rather than someone who has to rush off to go to three separate deli's. There won't be any, but any negative comments and that person gets to be in charge next year.

OP I had to have. a lie down and a rum while reading the list.
You say you need to do Christmas Fayre and Christmas Show, many of us k now what a ball ache these are, but if you feel too much guilt get these done.
You done need all the shows, light shows, visit to London etc. Is there nothing local you actually want to do. Three things max. Adult events - go to if you want.
No Christmas cake for others this year.
Christmas Eve no to lobster meal - who is it for? Can you go out for a curry or have takeaway.

We are doing two pantos
Dinner on the day at a local restaurant - paid for already.
Boxing Day at family who live in same street as us.
Small Christmas party here on Christmas Eve,
Christmas cake made today and mini Pantone to see if they work.
Treated myself to new Kitchen Aid.
Presents online unless get something from Glasgow on panto days.
Said no to running stall at Christmas Fayre, Said no to visiting family who live far away.
Christmas cards already written.

You sound incredible and I'd love if you could come live in my house and cook for me all the time. I hope your DH and DCs realise how lucky they have it.

I've basically stopped doing things that were a chore to me. I suit myself and I spend less because we had a lovely simple Christmas in 2020 and everyone enjoyed it just as much.

I use one of those ingredients delivery places for Christmas dinner. Doing a turkey and a goose is overboard for sure.

What?

Thank you! For all the tips ♥️

for those saying I’ve overdone it - it comes from a good place, I just want my family to have the best time and the nicest food I can make!

spoken to DM and DF this afternoon and they don’t care if I drop the meats and fish! DM has apparently thought the dinner was too much for years but didn’t want to upset me by saying anything! DF just concerned I’m not dropping the ‘little choc thingys’ but happy to have a dollop of ice cream if I do! They’re the best honestly!

I’ve now committed to one light walk, DM and DF are taking the DC to a panto so I can have a night off. We are doing ONE church fayre - the one I really like! Can’t miss out on my knitted choc orange and mulled wine! Also they do a fab second hand book stall with some lovely cook books!

I'm struggling with swapping the supermarket for my trips to the delis and butchers - I’m sure so many of those rely on their Xmas trade. However I am going to get M&S gravy, cranberry sauce and stuffing! also pre made pancakes for the morning!

I have arranged support of another relative to help with care for elderly relative over Xmas eve and day.

I’m not doing any stockings apart from the DC! And adults only one gift each! no Xmas eve boxes! Just new pyjamas and choc.

I'm also simplifying the Xmas table, no foliage!
I have bought some lovely small candles for the middle….and maybe I’ll even get disposable napkins! Lucky DGM is laid to rest!

thanks again if you have contributed, love the support in doing LESS!