How does your children’s Xmas compare to yours as a child?

[Bet1439h]

Hi, when I was a child, at Christmas I received an extraordinary amount of gifts from my parents. I had no idea it was unusual at the time. I mean in 1990 they must have spent £500-1000 per child every year. Looking back at photos it was quite frankly batshit. The entire lounge was covered in gifts on Xmas morning (as you could imagine £1000 bought a lot more back then). Now I have my own kids I don’t want to do this, but I also can’t help shake the feeling that I’m letting my children down by not doing this. I feel like my kids are “poorer” than I was as a child as they don’t have this amount of stuff or the experience of such a large amount of gifts. It’s within my means to spend £250 per child for Xmas, I’m comfortable spending that and won’t miss the money.

Does anyone else that grew up receiving loads of gifts feel like they need to continue it? I feel like my expectations of Xmas are skewed.

My husbands family are the opposite and don’t do many gifts, for them maybe 5-6 things to open per child is normal. I’m not joking when I say that some years I probably had over 100 gifts from my parents at Xmas.

I've just been reading the threads on how much do you spend on your adult dc? and How much did you help out your dc as they adulthood? threads and I'm feeling really shit as a result. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that but I can't help but feel very poor and I'm not actually poor. Goodness knows how those really struggling feel.
My sister used to buy her 4 dc a huge amount at Christmas. They had an arm chair each overflowing with gifts and you could barely move. Our own gifts as children were modest with one main gift and an actual stocking with nuts, satsuma, and whatever gifts would fit in it from anyone. It was great! I buy my dc and my mum far too much really but I feel like I'm making up for when I didn't have much as a child compared to others. I was happy with my gifts and have great memories of lovely Christmases and much wanted and loved gifts but compared to others I didn't get much. I still only spend around £150 on each but compared to some on the Christmas threads that's like giving them coal! I don't buy anything that is just festive tat or for the sake of buying. I buy books, Lego, clothing they have asked for, festive pyjamas, Squishmallow/beanie boos type thing, games, small amount of chocolate and sweets. No tech or consoles.

Nobody needs loads of stuff and you can't buy love or happiness

Mine was more marked by poverty than yours, but my kid is awkward to buy for and I really struggle to create a small pile of presents - not through reluctance or inability to spend, but I don't want to buy things he really doesn't want! To make up the balance I put money in his savings/investments. Is that something you would be happy to do? You can still make Christmas lovely for your children but without the largesse your parents over-indulged in.

In all honesty our Christmases now have a lovely happy feel to them which my childhood ones didn't, and that makes far more difference than the size of the present stash under the tree. Your kids will be happy with the Christmas you make for them (as you would have been if you'd received far less from outset, as you wouldn't know any different).

Thanks it’s interesting to hear other perspectives and experiences.

Great idea re investments/savings, they do have investment accounts so I could put a bit in there for them each Christmas.

One other question I have is how do people deal with the empty looking tree? I’m used to seeing gifts not being able to fit under the tree and overflowing. I like the idea of buying less but I hate the empty looking tree. Does anyone wrap up empty boxes to give the look of a fuller tree? Or do you just get used to it?!

I suggested to ds putting gifts under the tree instead of in sacks and he says he'd hate that. There's only ever a few gifts under the tree. Father Christmas puts his gifts (one each) under the tree.

I buy far less for my kids than my parents did. We used to get an enormous amount also. I am much less of a spender than my parents were anyway, coupled with a)a lower income than when they were my age and b) different priorities around Christmas. I have a faith and the focus of Christmas for us is our faith celebration, and we deliberately don't over-spend on gifts because we don't want it to be the focus. We buy them a few lovely things each and spend the rest of the time celebrating with family and friends. I don't feel bad about it - it's a decision we've made to help them grow up with the values we want them to have (though don't get me wrong, we couldn't spend loads more even if we wanted to! 😂)

As a child growing up in the 70's Christmas was a different thing all together. For weeks and weeks we had the Christmas advert, I used to write a wish list and send it to Santa. My Christmas stocking was a pair of my mum's tights with fruit, chocolate and little boxes of Lego in. I have teenage sons now and they have had the same Santa sack for years. I tend to be practical present wise so pyjamas, socks, smellies are the regular presents. If I can afford it there might be a surprise present, depends on my budget. Tbh I started shopping in July!!! Always get a silly little gift like Brussels sprouts chocolate 🤣😀

We put gifts from other friends and family under the tree before the big day (for us and them to open). I also put gifts that are for other people under the tree (until we get to hand them out). So that my kids can help with the giving of gifts too that are on /after Xmas day.

All gifts for / from everyone go under the tree (apart from Santa when they were wee)

I got much less when I was growing up than my kids do now but we went on holiday every Boxing Day which would've been expensive. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't deprived but tbh my parents just a/ weren't very organised b/ aren't very good at choosing gifts. I remember being really stressed as a child because everything was left to the last minute.

I don't remember things like Xmas light trails / visiting Santa / festive fairs etc but I don't think they were such a thing then and also we lived in the arse end of nowhere.

My kids are teens now and don't get loads of presents because the stuff they want is relatively expensive BUT i put a lot of thought into their gifts - they're all carefully thought out and chosen. My son though is an absolute nightmare to buy for and has a Christmas birthday and that stresses me out !!

Gift-wise, about the same.

The notable difference for me is that every Christmas of my childhood was exactly the same. Same routine, same people coming over, always dad cooking the same spread. We never went anywhere, grandparents came to us. My daughter's Christmases vary much more. Sometimes my family, sometimes her dad's, sometimes just us at home. I kind of miss the cosy predictability of my childhood ones.

More presents, less people.

As a child, it was just the 4 of us (parents, db and me) and it was a quiet affair with modest gifts.

Our dc's gifts are modest as well but we invite parents (and grandparents when they were alive), siblings, nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles, waifs and strays. It's a busy chaotic affair and we love it. We focus on games, fun, tradition, feasting.

I always felt guilty that my adored grandparents were alone at Christmas and I swore after reading my Grandma's diaries when she went into a home that I would never leave a family member alone at Christmas. She prayed to spend the day with us and lived for the quick phone call she received from us on the day. Happily, she had several Christmases with her great grandchildren and I worked hard to make up for it. My Mum always said she wanted "just our little family" at Christmas, never realising that we would have loved to see wider family and they were desperate to see us.

When I was younger I had maybe 5/6 gift and then our stocking which was filled to the brim. Tbh I couldn’t tell you every pr3sent I got, because for me Christmas was all about the memories and traditions.
with dc I’ve always done a budget which has had to expand due to 8nflation and also due to them getting older and the stuff for thier demographic being more expensive. Dd always looks like she’s got more the last few years as she’s 5 years younger than DS and he’s into more expensive stuff so I can get more with my money for her. This year she has about 6 gifts and her stocking presents.
tbh I brought my kids up believing Christmas is not all about the gifts, they love the traditions, always check we are still on to do them, they love the family time as we are a very busy household so not always in together at the same time.

My christmases changed when I was 11yo. In my early years my Christmas’s were like yours op, what felt like 100s of presents under the tree. I remember hearing a conversation where I overheard my mother saying she spent £200 each on each of us kids, that would have been late 70s early 80s. I remember the Christmas I was 10 and having so much stuff even my very own black and white tv, but by the time I turned 11 I had no presents at all. I had a jumper and skirt I was given for my birthday that I’d worn to every school event and party rewrapped up and given to me for Christmas. At 12 we were homeless, I actually don’t remember that Christmas at all. After that my mother choose to work Christmas Day to get NY eve off to go out drinking.

Christmases where very social alcohol based events in my family, the difference being from ages 0-10 my parents splashed out on both but after that is was social events that took priority.

There was always plenty of food, I can’t knock my parents there, but there became a point where Christmas was just any other day, some of us may or may not have gotten presents, one sibling absolutely always did, but that’s another story.

My DCs I have repeated my early years and lots of presents, but lots dosnt necessarily mean expensive. I did go crazy one year and it still upsets me how stupid I as with money. Now I still go big but there are what a lot of MNs call filler presents and what some wouldn’t consider presents at all, clothes etc.. I’m also not afraid of second hand gifting.

if your looking to make under the tree look fuller put some decorations there, Santa, light up presents. I always put gifts we buy for others that we haven’t given out yet at the back of the tree. You could also get creative in wrapping, putting things in bigger boxs with lots of tissue paper.

Gifts back in the late 80s/early 90s were things like books, tapes, jumpers. No spending hundreds of pounds because there simply wasn't enough money. Money is much tighter for me this year than last and we will be keeping the cost of Christmas right down.

I had far fewer and far more modest gifts as a child than dc have had, though last couple years have reined in spending as the more mine get the less precious each thing is. Youngest is 13, and no Big Gift requests this year.

We have a version of Christmas dinner that we like but that doesn't take pretty much all of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day morning to prepare like my parents used to do. Children are allowed to eat as much or as little as they like and if they want chocolate instead of Christmas pudding then they can crack on.

In summary my childhood Christmas dinner was a very stressful affair my children's is not.

Yes but as they got older I've realised how daft it is and it just takes up so much space so I have cut down and they don't even notice.

DH and I grew up in poverty and there was no way we were allowing that to happen to our children. I used to get up to a pair of my mothers tights with an apple, orange and one gift and this was 1975 - 1985, gifts stopped after that.

We spend a lot at Christmas on each other and our children who’ve now left home. We’re incredibly fortunate to be able to afford a very generous Christmas and it’s absolutely none of anyone else’s business what we choose to spend our money on as far as we’re concerned. Our children never asked for much which made the larger gifts more special to them.

Our tree is filled with gifts under it and it’s just for DH and I these days, Christmas still excites us both as we had such shitty Christmases when we were small. It gives us a lot of pleasure to choose gifts for each other and our children as well as their partners.

Edited to add, a lot on MN would be clutching their pearls at what we’ve gifted each other and our children over the years. I remember posting a few years ago we’d gifted one of our children a new car for Christmas as they’d just passed their test, OMG the uproar. People need to be more accepting that everyone’s situation is different as are their choices in gifts.

The Christmas I had is very different to the one ds has.

When I was younger everyone got tons of presents, too many really. I remember it being fun and we all had a good time, lot of cool gifts and plenty of lovely food. Loads of relatives, loud and just very ostentatious.

On reflection it was too much. Nobody needs 50 gifts!

I really didn't get that until I had my own kid and ds was like 8 months old on his 1st Christmas and I got him like 30 presents. It took a week to open them and he wasn't interested and I was bored lol. I ended up picking out 3 or 4 things and donating the rest lol. Never again! Now Christmas is very relaxed with the day itself just me, dh and ds. Ds usually get's a big present and a few smaller ones and that's it.

When I was growing up in the 80s it was busy hectic over both xmas and new year with my late mother prepping food, alcohol and soft drinks from september and the garish foil over the ceiling, the twinkling lights shaped like carriages and all sorts of decorations and tinsel over the tree. Had a fair bit to open from Santa, relatives etc and then a crowd of up to 15 that somehow my mum cooked 3 course meal for then some partying into the early hours. Hogmanay was a riot with the neighbours starting off at one house then collecting the other neighbours until they descended onto my mum for the obligatory huge pot of soup and shortbread biscuits. Us kids up until the early hours then the all nighters as teenagers.

Xmas we do Low key and chilled out as my idea of hell is being invaded by lots of relatives etc or leaving the house xmas day. Teenager and adult children prefer it that way but still do the full works and adult kids enjoy the food and alcohol then nibbles at night. I wouldnt change how it was back in the 80s though as its magic memories but no chance I could pull off what my late mum achieved either with the homemade sausage rolls, mince pies and xmas cake on top of the sheer amount of food. Most memorable was her using a saw to cut the Turkey to make it fit in the oven 😳 but one thing I did take from her Gene's was the xmas cupboard ban until dec 🙈

We grew up dirt poor, my sister and I got maybe 2 presents each. Usually a cute teddy and a cool plastic toy. The best year ever I think was a scalectrix! This was early 90's. We used to get 3 presents when my great granny was still around. She'd do us each a shoe box with little bits inside, like sweeties amd Avon samples and crochet dolls. I always loved Christmas.
Nowdays, compared to childhood im so comfortable, financially. I pinch myself. I give both my kids maybe 4 gifts each. And 1 from santa. They're only young. They get plenty of toys and treats all year round. I prefer to space it out. I find the idea of a mountain of presents quite overwhelming and sort of, diluting eachother. If that makes sense. I also try to buy 'nearly new/hardly used'. Especially if it has the box, because they can't tell the difference and seem not to care 😄

I was born in the early 60's and was an only child. Christmas consisted of mum and dad ( depending on my dad's shift work) aunt uncle who both stayed over and my grandparents who came for the day. Big presents weren't my parents thing. I would mostly get one thing I'd asked for " dolly designer" ( not as good as I thought) but never did get a chopper bike.
But simple things were exciting. I loved an annual of my weekly comic and getting a small tin of quality street just for me was fab. My memories are happy ones of spending time all together, staying up late and having chocolate.

That sounds so nice! 😊