How does your children’s Xmas compare to yours as a child?

[Bet1439h]

Hi, when I was a child, at Christmas I received an extraordinary amount of gifts from my parents. I had no idea it was unusual at the time. I mean in 1990 they must have spent £500-1000 per child every year. Looking back at photos it was quite frankly batshit. The entire lounge was covered in gifts on Xmas morning (as you could imagine £1000 bought a lot more back then). Now I have my own kids I don’t want to do this, but I also can’t help shake the feeling that I’m letting my children down by not doing this. I feel like my kids are “poorer” than I was as a child as they don’t have this amount of stuff or the experience of such a large amount of gifts. It’s within my means to spend £250 per child for Xmas, I’m comfortable spending that and won’t miss the money.

Does anyone else that grew up receiving loads of gifts feel like they need to continue it? I feel like my expectations of Xmas are skewed.

My husbands family are the opposite and don’t do many gifts, for them maybe 5-6 things to open per child is normal. I’m not joking when I say that some years I probably had over 100 gifts from my parents at Xmas.

I watched a documentary a couple of years ago about 2 couples. One wealthy and the other on benefits due to very ill health. This has stuck in my head for years.
The wealthy family had a professional tree dresser for their 3 trees, mountains of presents but the mum took so many pictures of their perfect Christmas and made the children change clothes several times so their pictures looked beautiful. The kids just wanted to play with their toys but that meant mess and the pictures wouldn't be aesthetically as good.

In contrast the other family had an old Christmas tree that they put up, covered in decorations that the kids had made . They bought their children one present and a couple of little bits . The dad found a battered dolls house by the bin that someone had chucked out and he spent time on it . It looked lovely when he'd finished. The whole family got cheap Christmas pjs and put them on Christmas Eve night and dad made hot chocolate and mum read the night before Christmas to them. Somehow I think these children will have the happier memories .

My childhood we had two pillow cases of gifts. My family were comfortably off. However the gifts weren’t what we wished for but more what we should have according to my mum. So mum wanted us to collect porcelain dolls so both my sister and me would get one every Xmas. We couldn’t play with them, we had to put them on display.

Christmas for my family are quite similar but I listen to what they want not what I think they want. It does lead to some tat but dd9 has some lovely memories so far. We make traditions like stockings and having x takeaway Chinese on Xmas eve. That’s what the kids remember each year more for us.

Less relatives around in the morning. I have 3 siblings, 2 much older, and we were all usually together for Christmas. Most of the years it would be with other relatives as well, eg aunts or grandparents...
Right now it's 3 of us on Christmas morning so it's super quiet! I always feel really sad my child misses out on that excitement and hubbub first thing, we just can't afford for everyone to meet up on a Christmas stay.

edit: Sorry, I just read the title question when answering!
Presents wise, my child probably gets more gifts than I did (though spends v salary is proportionally the same, I think) though he definitely does not have ‘piles and piles’ as shown on social media.

My parents were not at all well off when I was young, plus it was the time when it was one present (like a doll) and a few little things. I remember being obsessed with a stuffed animal fox and my mother not buying it and be being so resentful- when frankly she simply couldn't afford it.
My late DH was a high earner and my kids got a decent amount of gifts but not over the top. Maybe five gifts from us and they had a few from grandparents. Not the present mountains you see posted where I bet half the gifts are never used.

@BellaTheDarkOverlord &@Cerialkiller your stories really resonate, I was the same mostly given what my mother thought I should have or what she would have liked in her childhood. My brothers always got what I wanted and liked but as a girl I should just be happy with dolls and pretty clothes, it didn’t matter that I was scared of dolls.

I do buy things I like and want for my DDs and kind of live vicariously through them but only AFTER I’ve gotten everything on their wish lists. They get to choose 4 things from Santa and 4 from us, anything else is an extra.

My dc get far too much spent on them, and expect a pile of presents. I lost the run of myself one year after ds and myself were injured, in the run up to Christmas, and then couldn’t face disappointing them on subsequent years.

Growing up without two pennies to run together Christmas seemed absolutely magical when I was little. My dps gaslit us into wanting the cheaper but oh so much better toys, but once the Santa years passed it was clear the dm hated it all and the cracks in their relationship showed up under the Christmas lights.

I got way too caught up in trying to create a picture perfect Christmas as an adult, while second guessing the amount of gifts the dc we’re getting, the values they weren’t learning, and hosting people I’d really prefer not to spend so much time with. Honestly not sure I’ve done any better than my dps when all is said and done

My childhood I had a fun christmas stocking, nothing expensive but stuff my mum knew I loved. I do this for the kids, nothing expensive and they still, now teens come into our room to open it and start the day, it remains very cute.
They then proceed to chuck things at each other up and down the stairs for an hour or so (from something in their stocking) whilst we muster up the energy to get a Baileys coffee on the go.

Presents under the tree: They get a main present, although this year will be money on the PC games account. Rest is smaller stuff, books, board game each, something to wear, chocolate, nothing, we all get a present each and then we spend the day playing, eating, neighbours round, few drinks, crackers.

They are much more interested in time and fun together that we usually have presents still under the tree unopened Boxing Day.

So it's a bit like my Christmas, I used to get a main present, go and see family in the village, eat, play, take dog out, feed the rest of the animals, watch tv, doze.

We have always kept a bit of the "pagan' celebration, mid-winter at the fore so that it's not about presents, it's about charity, thanks, warmth, looking back, looking ahead.

We do some low key and panto as lead up, we usually have fun advent calendars, we always get the youngster to do the 12 days of Christmas WITH ACTIONS, his French Hen is a thing to behold! We do a 1000/1500 piece jigsaw, we read Christmas who-dunnits, usually get out the Christmas around the World book and see what is traditions happen in other climates. We design and attempt to build a gingerbread house (GBBO it is NOT). We do evening walks around village to see the outdoor Christmas lights.

But stacks of presents, no, not really, enough for them to feel loved, as many surprises as is possible to give teens who have plenty already.

@frozendaisy that sounds lovely, thanks for sharing, sounds like a lovely Xmas to aim for

Omg are you me!

I got a horrific china doll that my mum used to sit on a shelf opposite my bed and we would stare at each other until I plucked up the courage to climb up and hide her.

Someone else must have assumed I had a Barbie because one year I got a Barbie play set. A kind of kitchen set in a video casset type thing that opened up. It had tiny silver cutlery that I quite liked but dolls were never included. All my 'fashion' toys were traded at school. Pokémon cards, light up souped up yo-yo during that craze. I did get a tamagochi one year which was ffing amazing!

I stopped asking for the real cool stuff. Never dreamt of asking for a console, Nintendo game boy or games for them. I don't think my parent would know what they were!! My brother and I had to save for our n64 and our playstation. I married a computer engineer and last year he bought me the latest Xbox just because I want to play one game on it. He bought my switch too.

I think we were a lot happier with less when I was young (1960s/70's), My parents didn't have much money, we'd get a stocking, a couple of small presents and maybe one larger present but nothing like bikes or dolls' houses or anything. Christmas was still beyond exciting and we loved every second of it. My own kids got what I could afford as a single mum of five, I struggled to afford very much yet they still looked forward to Christmas every year.

Now I have far more disposable income and like to spoil my now-adult kids as much as I can, so I try to buy them nice versions of stuff they buy themselves. The whole 'massive pile of presents' thing does strike me as more Insta-driven than anything else.