I’m I right to feel annoyed

[Nanniecarol]

I’ve asked my family to come to us for lunch on Christmas Day.
my daughter said that’s fine but that her husband wants to cook the lunch.
I was completely offended by this

Not enough information. Are they trying to take some pressure off you? Are you a notoriously shit cook? Does your son in law have form for overstepping?

Depends on why he wants to cook it I guess.

I'd be over the moon myself , I appreciate this wouldn't be the case for most people though

What they said!!

I'd love this! Best of both worlds - you get to spend time with the family and someone else cooks! Winner

Winner winner chicken dinner

What wrong with him offering to cook? Won’t that be a help?

Agree with this!

You will never catch me fighting to make the dinner

So so many factors to include before it can be judged the height of rudeness or an act of kindness.

Why on earth would you be offended ?

Ok so long as he's going to do all the prepping as well - peel the spuds, carrots, parsnips, sprouts? And will that be at their house, and he'll bring them over? Or will he present himself at yours early in the morning for veg duty? ? Who's going to buy the veg., the turkey, puds etc? I can see there's a lot of fun to be had! 😀

You are so, so lucky OP

Sounds like a win!

My husband would insist on this too. My mum is a shit cook! But also he loves the process of the Christmas roast. It is his thing on Christmas Day and he gets to cook it as he likes it.

I would snap up the offer! Make some delicious desserts and relax all day. If there’s a dish you particularly want ask if he will make it.

On face value of what you've said, I would be offended. In fact I had the same thing happen a few years ago when I invited my sister - I said no, you come as a guest, and I'd appreciate help, but not a full takeover.

If I invite someone I expect to be the host. You can make yourself at home, help yourself to drinks and snacks if you want, but I cook in my own kitchen.

I don’t like people cooking in my kitchen so it would be no from me I would be a bit surprised but not offended. However I don’t have SIL maybe if I had I would look at it differently. My sister’s daughter in law always cook something in her kitchen when they get together.

Did you daughter say why?

Ask him to help! Cook together?

I'd be sooo happy!! That's amazing. You sit back and put your feet up with a glass of wine.

He cooks every year and takes far too long as he get very drunk whilst cooking.
The younger children just want to play with there toys but it goes on for hours.
He’s a bit of a control freak

Turkey dinner 😂

Yep I'm with the others.

As much as you feel offended look at it as a gift horse.

You can always do canapés or make desserts.

Just say no. "Thanks but I'm going to cook the meal this year."

LOL if you don't want him, send him to mine please

Okay, he can want whatever he likes but that doesn’t mean he gets it. Just say no, it’s pretty easy.

So why can’t the children play with their toys while he’s cooking?

Exactly...they can ask and you can say no.

I understand the posters who think it sounds great...yeah just relax let someone else do the cooking. I get that.
BUT for me it's a no. If it's my house it's my schedule and my cooking. I'd not enjoy having someone come over and basically control the proceedings with a long drawn out performance using my kitchen.

He doesn't get to insist.