Poncetastic Christmas 2024

[StiffyByngsDogBartholomew]

@vivajen hasn't posted on MN for a year so I've taken the bull by the horns. I can't wait any longer !
Wherever you are, Fellatio, here's to you. I hope you're brining a turkey and had crafting authentic organic woven tinsel somewhere.
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.
So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.
Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.
Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

🎄🎄🎄🎄

@TheWoollybacksWife there's a local florist that I've seen offer a workshop in past years, it wasn't cheap either! But at least you get all the greenery supplied. But it would be lovely to do it in a national trust property that's decorated for Christmas.

Those of you who make your own wreaths, do you forage for your own supplies, if so what sort of land is OK for you to take from? Or do you have enough in your gardens?

I'm here for this! Two weekends time and I will start soaking my fruit for the cake.

This year I'm promising myself I will make the gingerbread man garland that has been sitting in a box for the last three years...

Bang crackers, @TheWoollybacksWife. I haven't yet made crackers for cheese. You've reminded me that I saw a recipe somewhere though. Hmmmm.

I got a wreath making kit delivered from an online garden centre last year. They had tutorials for it as well, and there are some on YouTube.

If anyone likes Mapp & Lucia and is near Rye this looks wonderful
https://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/visit/sussex/lamb-house/christmas-at-lamb-house
we are in Hastings so I'm deffo going as I've just got into the books. I'm intrigued by the Lobster a la Riseholme

Last year I made lots of savoury crackers, some more successfully than others. These are super
https://theviewfromgreatisland.com/copycat-raincoast-crisps-crackers/#wprm-recipe-container-142019

I also made cheese flapjack, maybe someone posted in the 2023 thread but that was LUSH

I am so on board for this, everyone has such lovely ideas.
Work is going to be all consuming until the end of the year so I’m just going to Ponce whatever I fancy rather than attack it like a project.
I fancy the chocolate and Guinness Christmas cake I made last year, braised red cabbage, going round the charity shops as soon as they get the precious things out.
Whisky and scented candles and woolly blankets to make working into the small hours a bit more comfortable.

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew not my neck of the woods so I saw Rye and thought well I could make bread for the morning, but we’re setting the bar high this year aren’t we?

Those crackers look dangerous. They would not make it off the cooling rack in this house.

Just catching up as I've been awake since 4am. One thing that jumped out at me was CHEESE flapjacks? Cheesejacks? I've now gone down a rabbit hole online looking at various recipes. If @StiffyByngsDogBartholomew would be so kind to share, then that would be splendid.

I also spent a long time wondering why those pretty crackers were called Raincoat crisps. I couldn't work out in what way they looked like raincoats. I need to put my glasses on!

Cheese flapjack sounds amazing! Those crackers look yummy too. I could spend all of December baking and eating!

That's a good shout, thanks! I'll get googling.

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew those crackers look amazing! We're intending to have a fancy cheese board on Christmas eve, so am making those!

If you know anyone cutting back wisteria, the off cuts are great for making garlands and wreaths as they are long and strong.
In 5he past I have got togther with friends and everyone brings a bit of something (greenery or ribbon or pinecones) which works out.
Bay is good. I have an annoying eucalyptus.
My mum gathers bits put on dog walks, river banks etc.
I did see some lovely rose hips the other day.

I like the thing that isn't ivy but has flat dark green leaves and those pale green round flower bits. Will see if I can find a pic. It's often in hedges

Tree Ivy apparently

I think I'd feel a bit naughty nicking bits of the countryside! It is an ok thing to do, right? 🤣🤣🤣

That's ivy that has got to the top of whatever it is climbing. It's great for Christmas greenery - it will have little green/black berries by then.

The much-despised leylandii is great for wreaths, as a base of green for all the more colourful stuff.

Everything in moderation....

Sticky out bits of hedges in public places are surely OK? Just helping council.

That is amazing! Well done!

If anyone prefers to buy greenery to supplement/replace foraged stuff, Triangle Nursuries is great. They do wholesale prices even for individual customers. I use them everywhere, even if it’s just for a box of moss and some blue spruce (although I often end up getting eucalyptus and other things too).

https://www.trianglenursery.co.uk/?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_AbonOr7H5ku6SEWKQNetlYNTY6&gclid=Cj0KCQjwr9m3BhDHARIsANut04bMBhFAe-ytgehrv07jjqJcaoiPDQpdh06NOd9rBKFqWdqEd7YLXGsaAmgyEALw_wcB

I recently started practising the Christmas carols on the piano 😁

Going to read the full thread now to feel festive...

For mince pies I use:
5oz plain flour
3oz butter
1 egg yolk
Enough milk to bind.
Rub the butter into the flour, mix in the yolk, and carefully add enough milk to bind.
Rest in the fridge, roll, cut out as needed, rest again before assembling mince pies.

It's a very short pastry, and if you have one of those Yorkshire pudding tins with 9 little hollows, will make 12-18 mince pies depending on whether you do full-circle lids or use stars etc.

Thank you @MissyGirlie
Stupid question but how thick do you roll the pastry?

As thin as it will go, pretty much. Couple of millimetres? If it all goes wrong, it is quite forgiving (unlike normal short crust) and you can just mash it back together and try again. I used a single batch to line a 9" pie plate the other day, with enough spare to flip the edges back in for crimping.

I’m here for cross stitched cards insights! I love these threads but it’s mostly aspirational with me, life is too much for poncing until our kids get to useful ages. I usually make Christmas cakes but not sure this year as Im planning to make 30 boxes of a variety of cupcakes for the school fair in late October and that takes prep and practice, plus am on the organising committee. I am in oz not the uk anymore, just got the latest edition of gourmet traveller, a food magazine and thought there’s lots of potential for Christmas in there.

Thanks Missy. Will be brave and do it.
Otherwise I end up with pastry too thick. Then I use up mincemeat in apple crumbles or these mincemeat slices which are excellent for the pastry challenged

https://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/collections/biscuits-and-cookies/wholefood-mincemeat-slices

I make them with butter and spelt flour as suggested here

https://theordinarycook.co.uk/2012/11/14/mincemeat-bars/

Ohh that wreath is beautiful! I used to make them myself, and also the traditional candle holders/advent wreaths with masses of foliage and foraged things. But that was back in Denmark where we had access to lots and lots of material from which to collect the elements needed. Here in the UK I'd have to buy the greenery and I do bristle a bit at the price. However this year I really do want to do at least one little display with fresh foliage.