Anyone else wish christmas wasn't a thing anymore?

[Tacali]

I like christmas for my DC but I wish it wasn't a thing anymore.

Anyone else feel the same? I know I'm probably the minority.

Which is exactly what I do. No effing turkey or Christmas pudding, no decorations apart from a twig tree and a door wreath, no faff or pressure.
Last Christmas we had porchetta with salad and jacket potatoes, panna cotta for dessert, went out for a long dog walk and sat in front the wood burner and toasted chestnuts. Boxing Day we headed for the coast for a long beach walk with tomato soup in a flask, hot dogs and onions in another and crusty bread rolls.
This year I fully intend to do something similar.

Oh, no presents except for the DGCs, the adults have subscriptions to something or somewhere with a bottle of gin/whisky.
All the parents are dead so no more trekking around the county having worked full time (60 hours plus), done all the bloody work, written all the cards etc) I hated Christmas.

Business survive in Iran and there is no Christmas there. If hypothetically, Christmas was no more, businesses would adapt and find something else to sell. That's how it works.

I love Christmas. I think it's what you make it. We don't spend vast amounts of money or buy in excess. There's no crazy running around in the build up.

Ours probably could be stressful because we do the decorations here in the UK and any shopping, then we go over to Norway. We celebrate on the 24th and the 25th as a blending of cultures, and decorate when we get there, too. But it's slow and relaxed, we don't go wild with food to feast every day, just some nice bits. Everyone pitches in cooking.

For us, it's just time with family, some presents, and a time to be together. I couldn't be doing with all of the Elf on the Shelf or boxes or whatever. We just make our own traditions and spend what we think is reasonable.

Christmas is what you make it. I love Christmas hence my fairly heavy presence on this board but it is what we have made it.

I have family tradition going back 16 years with my kids. It's not all super expensive ones either.

We go for a walk through town to look at Christmas lights

We bake together

Each year they choose a bauble for the tree. Just a small cheap one under £3

Ita just us for dinner. So sausages for the youngest and turkey crown for the rest of us. No one eats sprouts so we don't buy them

Lots of people make a big deal out of easter or Halloween. We don't celebrate Halloween really and Easter they get some eggs

Christmas is what you make it. If it's too stressful then change it

@ForActivia

You mean like Eid?

Christmas is perfectly affordable if you decide to make it so

Email now "we are not buying presents for anyone this year as it is no longer meaningful for us, just expensive"

You also don't need to buy so much food you end up throwing it away again . If you don't starve normally you won't on Christmas either

You don't need to do things because "tradition" or "expected" . You are an adult who has only one life / get on with it

I agree in a way. There is a lot of pressure.
My parents expect us to spent thousands on gifts. My mum tuts if we haven’t bought enough food to feed 100 people. I am a single parent and always make sure it’s amazing for my daughter but my mum can’t comprehend doing any less than they do. It’s started to spoil it for me to be honest so I think this is the year I will be stepping back and staying home and without the pressure.

I never understand this mindset, are people so devoid of assertiveness or control of their lives that they really partake in something they don't want to? It's not mandatory, do as much or as little as you want? Some years we see family, some years we don't, we do what we want to do! (And expect our families to do the same for themselves).
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It's to do with having toxic dysfunctional family dynamics. Lots won't have any chance of breaking away from that without attending therapy for some reason, discovering their families are toxic and developing the courage to face the backlash of breaking away from the role their families have assigned them.
@goestheweasel

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@MingingTiles For some people "just tell them you're doing something else" would come with so much backlash, that wouldn't end until the person either gave in or went no contact. So it's not necessarily a simple thing with no repercussions, standing upto the family can be a momentous life changing decision.
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Our Christmas is now all about my PILs and sitting in silence staring at the wall, tutting and feeling a dark night of the soul. I‘ve started resenting it, but do it for my DH.
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This is my family @MaggieBsBoat . "Hi come on in" at the door followed by sitting in a room with an atmosphere whilst the hosts escape to the kitchen 90% of the time and nobody really wants to chat, including them. These are people I don't see the rest of the year because they've no interest in making any effort to maintain a relationship (I match their efforts these days, which means we don't meet!). There's honestly no point in it, yet it's still expected and I'm viewed as spoiling other's Christmas Day if I don't go along with it. I don't care any more, don't see why I should keep up the pretence that we're a happy family. They're not in my life by their own choices and lack of effort, so their opinions don't affect me.
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I have to buy for about 10 other children, 4 are my god children, 1 is a nephew. How do I cut back there?
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Sorry I can't remember who posted this but I have a solution. Wait until each child has a "big milestone" birthday. This is a lot easier when all the DC belong to different families too so no sibling jealousy. So eg 10, 13, 16. Then downgrade the gift to a £10 gift voucher (more boring, restrictive and less missed than actual money) in a card. Then wait until they get to the next "big milestone" birthday and stop altogether, just sending a card from then on. They can't really argue with "you're a big girl/boy now and I can't afford to do Christmas presents for everyone forever so I'm only doing it for the little ones", if they or their parents comment on it, without coming across as totally spoiled and insensitive to your financial situation. Wait until each DC hits the same age to do it, so if the families ever mention it among themselves they can see you've been fair about it. It takes a few years but your costs gradually reduce as each DC ages out. Then once everyone is grown up, if you want to stop sending cards just site the cost of stamps and drop them a text/email/SM message each instead.

??🤔

I also wonder what people are buying to make it so expensive. When I was a kid, we didn't get things like expensive consoles or branded clothing, etc. for Christmas. I don't/won't do that either. Nobody needs a designer handbag/console and other gifts.

Just a small selection of nice things.

Christmas dinner itself is just a fancy roast. The bird is probably the most expensive part of it. So many people I know don't even like the dinner! I don't like it, so we don't have it. I couldn't be eating something I'm not a fan of just because tradition tells me to.

Picky stuff like cheeses can be a bit pricy, but you don't need to buy an insane amount of them. Same for sweets/biscuits. Just get what you think you'll eat; go by last year's waste. You really only need enough in to eat for 3 days at a push.

Buying presents for people outside of immediate family? Don't do it if you don't want to. Just tell them in advance.

Agree with this.

This year I’m spending it with my DP and cat. DP will cook (he likes it) and I’ll do the tree, stockings and baking, all of which I like. We’ll chill out, sleep lots, read, go for walks and watch films.

And I only buy presents I can afford for people I love.

I look at it as a way to have some quiet time - no work, no going out.

I always have! Loathe it with every fibre of my being.

But that’s the thing - it fundamentally is religious. It’s Jesus birthday - Christmas is the day Jesus was born. If you are not Christian there is absolutely no need to celebrate it. However in the UK many of our celebrations are based ultimately on Christian beliefs.

I love Christmas but I am a Christian so at its core it is celebrating something that I believe is wonderful and real. Can understand why modern celebrations and media pressure is too much for people though.

Some things that keep Christmas enjoyable for me include:

• Getting involved in Christmas church services
• Christmas day spent with family
• Boxing day to New Year's Day chilled out down time. Only doing things we enjoy. Easy meals.
• Only do Christmas activities from 1st December
• Reduce gift exchanges to kids or very close family members

Fundamentally the Christmas festival predates Christianity

It's a turn of the year festival

A time when things are dreary and the end doesn't seem in sight and a reminder that things will get better , the year has turned

Sometimes people just need a good party

Strip it back to whatever basics you like - Christian, pagan, Mother Earth

The commercial Christmas of recent years is something I despise but the party - seeing people I want to see for the purpose of having fun - is great

and celebration is something I save for - not so much financially but things like not eating takeaways all the year but really enjoy the Christmas treat. Same as Don't buy stuff , clothes, hobby gear all year - just at Christmas. Less stuff overall and much more fun from it all

There is sometimes a pressure to see people you don't like especially family , but it's a time to reflect - is it worth trying to rebuild those relationships for auld lang syne - or ditch them totally

Yes, there's a good deal of Bah Humbug going on here.

You can opt out of the elements you don't like. Even with extended family pressure, you can draw a line and let the chips fall where they may. If family members are so put out that you'd be punished for doing things your way, maybe they're not people you want in your lives anyway - it's doubtful Christmas is the only occasion they exercise their narcissism.

I'm in the US where we have the full turkey dinner with all the trimmings (but none of the gift giving) at Thanksgiving, about four weeks before Christmas. We then do it all again at Christmas - usually minus the turkey; I normally do a rump roast.

I do the roast spuds, Brussels sprouts, etc, because that's what I associate with Christmas, but I have friends who do all sorts of different meals, or head to a hotel or restaurant, or leave for a holiday somewhere warm.

Traditional American Thanksgiving dinner and desserts are far more universal than American Christmas fare.

My family also has a festive Christmas Eve dinner, and open presents from each other and far flung family that evening. Boxing Day isn't a thing here. I serve heated up leftovers, and then leftovers gussied up with salad or fresh bread until at least five days after Christmas.

I wish it was every 2 years, I know it's probably because I'm old but it seems to come around really quickly.

I don't find is stressful if anything I find it dull and expensive,

Bah humbug ;)

No.

I love it. I’ve always loved it. I love to spoil people I love, especially my children.

I love hosting people and spoiling them.

I’ve done it on a variety of budgets - it’s not always about spending the most money.

We do treat our kids - they are privileged - We aren’t one of those families who have piles and piles of stuff but they get lots. Although we only buy things we know they will use or need.

I know others will worry about how to afford Christmas. My mum struggled and I know it would have been stressful for her.

However she also loved it. Which is why I do too.

We’ve got traditions now as a family. The kids love them, even now they are older.

Ooh just remembered another word to add to the next thread about words and phrases we hate.

Festive.
´As a family'
Along with ( for me )
Tub
Platter
And many many more.

As you were!

We do celebrate Christmas - we want to but without any religious aspects. For us it’s a time for family, time off work, good food and drinks

Is it only in Britain people piss and moan like this over a traditional holiday? I'm genuinely wondering. It's like there's almost a competitive element to the I hate it / cancel it / make it every 4 years if you must do it attitude.

Really, who cares if the shops play music you don't like and sell things you don't want to buy. It really doesn't matter that much.

I love it, always have, always will. It's a little oasis of light and peace and warmth when I can have both my kids home and forget about work and the state of the world and everyhting. And on a wider level I sort of feel deep down that traditions like this are important for a people, especially in an increasingly atomised society.

I once spent Christmas Eve - and I mean all of Christmas Eve - in a laurderette trying to dry a duvet for in laws coming.
It got out of hand for me for a few years: living with clergy, in laws arriving mid December and leaving early January. House cleaning, decorating, meals, people, arrgghhhh!!!!
So now it's dinner out - yes it's expensive but so what, and it is minimum stress.
No church, drinks with friends Christmas Day evening and a quiz that is becoming a bit of a tradition.
Minimum gifts, minimum fuzz, maximum eating my body weight in things wrapped in pastry or bacon.
Take it easy - 'no.' is a great answer.

I love Christmas, and I only have adult children and work in retail!

I love giving presents and Christmas is my ideal excuse to choose lovely things that I know my family will like, it's an excuse to eat foods I don't normally have, we all have a wonderful get-together (my kids love Christmas too) for the day. I'm usually working Christmas Eve and Boxing Day, but it's nice to get that one day off to have a fabulous dinner with the family ( we all cook together) and give people things I've chosen that I hope they like.

You can do whatever you want for Christmas. You don't have to make it into a massive thing. Anyone can celebrate as much or as little as they want. If it's relatives pressurizing into making it a massive deal then it's time to say no, it's going to be a more chilled Christmas this year.
The fact that so many people are already starting threads and stressing out at the end of September says a lot. It's 3 months away. It shouldn't even be on people's radars. The beginning of December is soon enough to be thinking about it and getting in the mood for it.
I live in Austria now and Christmas is lovely. Kids don't get a pile of gifts. They might get one big thing from the Christkind and a few small things from family members, but not much in comparison to what many children in the UK get from Santa. The family get together on Christmas Eve for a meal (usually fish or sausages but not a massive roast dinner), then a bell is rung and the children go into the room where the Christmas tree is lit with candles and the Christkind presents are underneath the tree (the children don't get to see the tree before then).
Many people go to midnight Mass afterwards and then that's the end of it really.

It doesn't need to be a massive carry on.