Anyone else wish christmas wasn't a thing anymore?

[Tacali]

I like christmas for my DC but I wish it wasn't a thing anymore.

Anyone else feel the same? I know I'm probably the minority.

Depends if you’re religious or not. It means different things to different people. We’re not religious so Jesus etc don’t come into it.

Not really.
(See what I did there).
🫣

I think it's up to each family to decide how they do Christmas. Find your own traditions and rituals. I dislike the flashing lights, loud music and commercialisation over weeks, if not months, and tend to avoid shops and pubs etc. I even avoid TV. But some things we do love and that's where we focus our energies. It would be so much harder if we had small children being force fed the commercial Christmas for 8 weeks at school, clubs, etc.

I wish it wasn't a thing. Stirs up memories and feelings I'd rather it didn't every year, no matter how much I try to not let them, it's always in the subconscious. The whole perfect Christmas and happy families that's advertised on everything in the run up to it rubs further salt into wounds that rub deep. But this is a me issue, and I don't let it impact on others enjoyment of the festivities. I just wish I'd have the same acceptance and respect back from them

Oh, yes it did!
(See what I did there)
😂

Yeah me, I'm sick of it 😂

Every year I end up being railroaded to "do" Christmas at our house and invite more people than I'm comfortable with. I've got an adult dc who's Christmas mad and loves having all the family over - she would happily do it at her house but the rest of the family live in home town where I am.

This year I'm hoping to get away with having just my dc and their partners, and no extended family. It's just too much hard work cooking for that many people and seating them - we've done it here the last two years and I was frazzled.

I love planning - and am as organised as it's possible to be - but as I've got older I've increasingly found hosting Christmas (adult children) exhausting.

I've pared it down considerably (smaller tree/ fewer presents etc) but feel guilty that it might feel a bit joyless / less sparkly for my family.

I look forward to the time that my kids start hosting Christmas, to be honest. All of my friends (late 50s/ early 60s) feel the same.

We've always had the "small, boring " Christmas. Me, DD, OH. Presents, food,laze about, play boardgames, chill, and stay in pyjamas all day if we want.Everyone at work awws and says that's a bit sad. On the other hand we have 3 weeks of all of them moaning about cost, stress, awful family members, this that and the other .

I'll take my sad Christmas every time, which I still enjoy very much.

Say, 'yes, it is sad', while thinking to yourself that SAD=Small and delightful. 😁

I think when you have dcs, the pressure around Christmas is huge, as you feel pressured into making it perfect for them - elf on the shelf, winter wonderland stuff, father Xmas visits, getting the right presents, prepping outfits for nativities, making sure the day itself is memorable. I get where you’re coming from. But when they grow up, even when teens, the pressure relaxes, then you can have the Christmas you want. I love the build up to it now as my dcs are adults, and i just like that it breaks up the winter gloom.

Do your DC and their partners not help - shouldn’t be you doing all the planning, food prep and cooking.

Christmas is a bit thin for me at the moment.
Youngest 17, though i do have a grandchild. Totally tied by my elderly mum.
In a few years, I am hoping I can just please myself and go away with friends

I'm a nurse as well, and probably like you, no one is allowed to book annual leave over Christmas. Our workplace is crazy leading up to Christmas day and boxing day, I work full time, over 5 days, so trying to fit Christmas in is just another chore. I find there are expectations. People are saying only do what you want etc. We don't go over board in my house, but you still have to do some prep. I'm used to cooking a roast, so doing a few extras is fine. It's just other things, like my dad starts to run out of patience on the day and can be snappy with my dc, (who are really good kids). If I didn't invite them for the day, this would really upset my mum, which I'm not prepared to do. I have to buy for about 10 other children, 4 are my god children, 1 is a nephew. How do I cut back there? My friend is a single parent, she buys me a small gift, so I buy her one back. I'd happily not bother, but she tells me how she gets no presents and her son asks why santa doesn't bring her presents, so I'd feel bad if I stopped.

I send very few Christmas cards. I have a tree in each room, and we don't put it up until the 2nd weekend of December.

I've booked off a few days after the new year to relax.

@Alwaystired23 ... Is there a quiet month in your year?
Could you decide July was present buying month, so that the run up to Xmas is just the hospitality stuff but not the presents?

@Alwaystired23 much respect for nurses, and other professions, who often have to work as normal (or more) over the busy period.
As for your single mum friend, you are being kind but it's also not your fault that she doesn't get gifts from anyone else! If you cannot afford lots of gifts then you have to cut some things back.

Our Christmas is now all about my PILs and sitting in silence staring at the wall, tutting and feeling a dark night of the soul.

I‘ve started resenting it, but do it for my DH.

Maybe you could spend the run up to Christmas licking people and see what you can catch…

After 47 of them, I agree the novelty has worn off a bit. Christmas every 4 or 5 years would be all right.

This is a good idea!

I never understand this mindset, are people so devoid of assertiveness or control of their lives that they really partake in something they don't want to? It's not mandatory, do as much or as little as you want? Some years we see family, some years we don't, we do what we want to do! (And expect our families to do the same for themselves).

Some people have a different family set up which can make it harder to opt out of things.

Some people have a different family set up which can make it harder to opt out of things.

I know I'm being simplistic, but there is still an element of choice in that, it'll mostly be people pleasing which I grew out of long ago.

Yes. It is simply seldom possible to actually compel people to do things they don’t want to.

‘We were forced into hosting a family Christmas for thirty warring relatives’ or ‘We were forced to have a 200- guest church wedding with speeches and ten bridesmaids rather than the ten-minute register office ceremony in jeans we actually wanted’ usually means ‘We chose to prioritise other people’s wishes over our own because we weren’t prepared to deal with negative reactions to our decisions’.

Some people have less of an element of choice.
I personally do what makes me happiest but I understand that others may have more complex family dynamics.
With younger children it's generally harder to opt out of christmas completely, though some elements can be dropped, clearly.

MaggieBsBoat Such a shame about the Covid you're going to get on about 22 December. Google ways to fake a positive test if necessary, I am told it is easy.