Anyone else wish christmas wasn't a thing anymore?

[Tacali]

I like christmas for my DC but I wish it wasn't a thing anymore.

Anyone else feel the same? I know I'm probably the minority.

I love it but only because I have a very different view of it now. We host one large extended family party sometime in December but after that we pretty much shut the world out and enjoy it as a family of 4 (2 late teens), no pressure, no expectations, some years we don’t even have Christmas dinner, we have been known to have a takeaway or do an m and s pickle buffet. My kids prefer either cash or particular items so shopping is very easy to do, we only do token gifts for extended family, cash for nieces and nephews and me and my husband don’t buy each other gifts anymore, instead we book a nice short break away with the money we would have ordinarily spent. We stopped doing big family Xmas during lockdown and just found them to be much more pleasant and relaxing. I still go all out decorating the house, filling the fridge with nice food and booze though. We pop to the pub together Xmas eve, on our return we close the gates front gates, light the fire and that’s us bunkered down for a few days - utter bliss 😍

It's like the chicken or the egg, which came first

Could you hose swap for a week, the the Xmas loving adult child do the meal?

You can either turn up or hide away in her place.

I love it, but we have never over done it. It is going OTT that causes the pressure and ruins it.

The tree comes out, a couple of ornaments, and some Christmas dishes. All of which we've had for decades and that is it.

We have a special meal, nothing too onerous but good quality meat we wouldn't buy the rest of the year as too expensive. We watch some crap telly and play some board games and just be together.

We only buy for kids <21 years old in the family (been that way for 20+ years now) and most are teens now so it is cash in an envelope - they are happy and no stress for us!

It was a bit different last year as ds(20) was working Christmas day, and will be again this year. He'll get home about 6-ish so we'll visit family in the morning then have a lazy afternoon, a late dinner and just make the most of it!

This sounds perfect.

I had some good early memories of Christmas, but as my childhood wore on my parents prioritised their social lives over Christmas, after the age of 10 I don’t think my mother was ever home Christmas Day opting to work so she could have Boxing Day and NY eve off to go out drinking. This was around the time my DF went into decades of depression so we didn’t do much Christmas Day, it was just another day, we sometimes got presents we sometimes didn’t.

I spent many years overseas having a mixture of alone Christmas’s and being with random people and their families. Once I had my own family I was determined to make things magical for my DCs. Christmas is all about us as our small family, I go mad but at the same time my natural instinct not to throw money away is always there. We never go anywhere, I made it clear as soon as we started a family, Christmas is at home and there would be no travelling around. Although I’d love a Caribbean Christmas one year 😝

I fully plan to keep up the momentum until they are naturally ready to reduce their time at home. I’d like to think I will be able to let them go off and spend Christmas with partners or travel when the time comes as long as I occasionally get them back.

DH and I never put pressure on each other. For many years we never bothered with presents, DH would get his socks and undies from the DCs and be happy. The last couple of years we’ve been able to treat each other, but we don’t expect it. We’ve already said that let’s hold back and see what money like, I’ve got a list of nice things I’d like, perfumes etc.. if we can afford to buy something we will, if not then we will treat each other at some point in the future.

I dread it now. All the pressure to spend, the crap in the shops, the awful music. All the work and stress. I wish I could run away.

I feel like "special days" have really ramped up since Covid and people are seeming more and more pressured to do everything, but you can switch off social media and just not.

You don't need Christmas PJs, a fancy advent calendar, a December 1st box, Elf breakfast, Elf on the Shelf, Christmas Eve Box, breakfast with Santa and whole house decorated inside and out.

You can be a crazy Christmas freak and do all of it if it's fun for you, or you can do none of them, or just pick the ones you like and don't find stressful.

I love it, I’m not religious by any means so for our family it’s more about traditions, giving, having fun, basically a overhyped family get together. I do get sad thinking about dc. DS is 16, stopped believing in Santa years ago but kept up appearances for his sister, he still loves all of the traditions, she’s 12 on the cusp of finding out, I’m worried once the magic of Santa disappears it won’t be the same, we’ve always had kids around, was me and my brother, then when my brother was 13, me 16 my sister was born, 4 years later DS was born and 5 years after dd was born so there’s always been Santa magic.
I love the cooking, the buying, the wrapping, the excitement, the games.
one day it may not be the same anymore and we will have to change everything. Can’t wait for if and when dc have children so I can spoil them rotten.

I like Christmas but it's becoming a pressured situation. You see threads here where people are taking the kids to this that and the other. You don't need to buy your kids huge piles of presents costing a fortune, even teenagers can be told that things are too expensive, like those white fox hoodies I've actually seen one in the wild and it's a bog standard hoodie with white fox on it.
When I was a kid (60s/70s) Christmas was one day. The run up was spent opening our advent calendar, no chocolate or anything just pictures. I helped out making mince pies, our Christmas eve dessert, leftover marzipan rolled up and covered with rough puff pastry, the made up like a sausage roll. When it was cooked it was drizzled with pink glacé icing and decorated with silver balls. That meant Christmas had arrived. I also helped mum make sweets like fudge, Turkish delight, crème de menthe ( mint flavoured Turkish delight) marzipan fruits.

It was simpler and in a lot of ways it made Christmas day very special.

I wish we could go back to that simpler time by DH has to go overboard.

Yes, but some people get stressed by nothing. Or at least stress is subjective. You see hysterical threads on here annually about how much some people hate going on holiday, how stressful packing and getting to the airport is, how stressful being away from home is, how hard it is getting the children to nap/eat foreign food/ stay off screens, how much an OP is dying to get home, but also stressed about all the laundry and grocery shopping when they arrive.

Whereas other people, if they found holidays this stressful and unenjoyable, would simply not do it.

Christmas is similar. No one needs to host 30 warring relatives, take the children to Lapland, do Elf on the Shelf, cover the house in blue fluorescent icicles, have advent boxes and Christmas Eve boxes, and ensure each child gets a bigger piles of presents than their cousins on Fb.

All that home cooking sounds amazing but also quite a bit of pressure and could be described as going overboard but in a different way.

Christmas has increasingly become a commercialized holiday. While it originally focused on religious and cultural traditions, it's now closely tied to shopping, gift-giving, and consumerism.

Retailers heavily promote holiday sales, products, and festive marketing to encourage spending, making the season one of the biggest times of the year for shopping.

For some, this focus on buying and selling can overshadow the holiday’s more personal or spiritual meanings, like spending quality time with loved ones, practicing kindness, and reflecting on the season’s significance.

Many people, however, try to balance this commercial aspect with meaningful traditions, combining the joy of giving with moments of connection, gratitude, and simpler celebrations.

I love xmas and all the planning and organising but then again I dont focus too much on how other people do xmas and dont get suckered into all the advertising for it either. I enjoy shopping for the party outfits for nights out in the lead up. I just go with my flow and dont set big expectations for it