Anyone else wish christmas wasn't a thing anymore?

[Tacali]

I like christmas for my DC but I wish it wasn't a thing anymore.

Anyone else feel the same? I know I'm probably the minority.

Same. We go to the farm to get the tree on the first weekend of December. I don't want it up any earlier than that - plus it would be dropping by Christmas if we did!

I do love an advent calendar. They're a bit of a guilty pleasure for me.

It's not that difficult to disengage. Just set your boundaries and timescales and stick to them.

I've never been a fan, but that's more around the expectation to spend it with my parents/relatives. I would love to have a Christmas just with my DH, but I know it's just one day and I have to suck it up.
But I do think it's more about societal expectations/family pressure than being a truly joyful day.

I dread it every year.

Thank you for asking,
Scrooge (it’s not about the money)

I love it.
It’s one of the few times in the year where the majority of the country celebrate something together.

God, I’d love to be able to feel that way about it.

@Julianatree I felt the same. Some things that have helped me:

• Don’t do Christmas cards. Honestly, no one will care apart from the elderly, so just send one or two to them.

• Don’t go to the supermarkets. Book a big online shop when they open their slots (set a reminder on your phone as they go quickly on the day they’re released.) Add anything that can be frozen or non-perishable to your shop in the few weeks running up so it’s not all at once.

• Don’t have family over. Arrange to do a walk or something if they’re local.

• Don’t buy into all the ‘visits’ like Santa, reindeers, blah blah. Your DD is still young enough to knock this on its head and she won’t even notice in a year or two.

• Do a basic Christmas meal, not OTT. I stopped doing starters etc and now we just have nice nibbles beforehand

Basically cut out any bits that add stress!

My three are young adults now and still at home. They love Christmas so I do it for them but for about the last 10 years it has felt a bit Groundhog Day.

Separated for two years. Last year their Dad came to ours for the day. This year he has moved 2 hrs away and the DC are worried he will want them to go to his. They don’t want to! They have said they know I ‘do Christmas’ and it is perfect and if they go to his house it will be rubbish. I have taken that as my reward for all that wife work for 25 years!

If they go to their Dad’s I will look forward to a day of watching movies, reading, a walk and a lunch of home made bread with cheese 🙂.

Looking forward to grandchildren now and recreating the magic for them.

It doesn't have to be a big thing, do what's important for you and your family. DS is older now but even as a child we focused more on smaller scale pleasures than all the expensive add ons and tat! We also didn't buy into santa other than as a story (we told him that some folk believed the story and he was fine with that).

Christmas, and all of the celebrations mentioned by PPs are only a "thing" if you want it to be a thing. They are all whatever you want them to be.

In our house, the decs don't go up before mid December, mainly because of birthdays falling around that time of year that we don't want swallowing up, but also because we just don't get drawn into the competition of who has the earliest lights/tree up.

We don't spend ridiculous amounts of money, and that's spread across the family. We put the focus very much on the simple pleasures of it all (the lights, walks round festive markets, fun decorations, Christmas foods etc.) and the family side. Presents are a tiny part of it.

That's what it means to us. So that's what we do. Ignore the "pressure" because that's only internal from what you see others doing, rather than a real thing, and make it what you want it to be.

In society in general it has become a major money making opportunity.

Yes to this. I also have the added bonus of having to work a lot of it (Nurse). Now my DC are Uni age so it is not as full on thank goodness and DH and I made a pledge to go away to Sri Lanka every January. We don't have a summer break but save all our money for this. Gets me through Christmas.

Also this.

I do a big, all the trimmings roast, but it is just a roast. There's no starter, there is a pudding but it's not fancy. Think lemon meringue pie or a roulade. Some years I've bought pudding in if I knew work was going to be mental.

I fill the freezer in the run up. I make whatever can be made in advance in advance.

I can do a roast in my sleep, so it's only the additional sides that I add on that make it "special", and the fact we get a better cut of meat than usual etc.

Don't put the pressure on yourself. Do what works.

Yes! This is a great thread OP. I just need to open my eyes a bit more to what’s actually happening at home every year. It seems Ive now aged into the Christmas provider bracket having apparently already been born into the job description by being female . You know how everyone fucking hates being the one to have to organise the office Christmas party? For me this is exactly like that. Except at home, with massively raised stakes.

I actually never thought of this before but I think when DC are grown and go to partners or away for Xmas that I will not be sobbing into my exhausting meal without them but use the same massive budget I would have for the family Christmas and go off somewhere warm for a rest. I just find it really hard to give myself permission and it’s good to read about others who can and have done it. I need to make it clear that Christmas is for kids and adults need to allow each other to be freer to celebrate or just have a break in the way they want to.

Yes! I’ve been “doing Christmas” myself now for 36 years including all buying, wrapping, decorating, cooking, putting away afterwards.

This year we are going to DS’s house for dinner, I’ve said I’m not doing anything other than buying family presents.

There will be no tree this year, no garlands up the stairs and fireplace, no wreath on the door and no extra indulgent food that we are eating until February.

I’m done with it.

I will never understand these threads and people saying how stressful it is or how they wish it wasn't a "thing"...if you feel like that. . don't do it.
It's really not compulsory or legal enforceable.
And if you have children who you feel you need to do Christmas for...then it can be pared right down.
You can ignore stuff in the supermarket...no one is forcing you to buy Christmas themed food etc.
You don't have to have a tree or put one up in November.
It's literally one day...and a roast dinner.

What impact do you think it would have on shops, restaurants, venues etc. and their employees if we didn’t spend?

Was that reply meant to be so passive aggressive?

I assumed it was a straight question

This!

It reads quite passively aggressive, like there's an assumption I don't understand basic economics such as how people spending money can create job opportunities and income sources.
It reads as almost suggesting we have some responsibility to spend, guilt tripping.

Id like to know what Christmas is to people who don't believe in the religious aspect of it. It’s a Christian celebration but people will openly say they don’t believe in ‘all that nonsense’ yet they still have a Christmas Day.

is it ‘just’ a chance to have a really nice day and spend it with loved ones.

Nope love it. I spread buying through out the year and don't put pressure on myself to have a "perfect Christmas"

Well, people celebrated at that time of year long before christians made it about their god Christmas day has become a cultural celebration in many western countries too, it's evolved into a day about love, togetherness and overindulgence (in varying measures).

I do dread Christmas too mostly because of all the work. Cards, presents and organising food. But I also like it ‘really’ and try to focus on the bits I like - Carol service, pantomime, the tree. I used to enjoy a Santa visit or ice skating trip with the kids - nice Christmassy outings essentially. I like the day and seeing family too it is just getting to that point. Also dread the annual negotiations over who is eating where. The in laws will never commit until late, my parents always offer early but it would be too much for them now really and we feel we have to stall until we know what the others want to do. I don’t know it is just stressful.

I didn’t do cards two years ago and felt liberated and then I did them again last year and it didn’t feel so bad. Maybe I will alternate years. Every year I tell myself I will cut down on presents but I never do so that is hard especially as I don’t feel like I am good at choosing presets for people. I try to wrap early but somehow always up at midnight on Christmas Eve wrapping. I would make the food simpler and easier but DH likes complicated food and he does cook the meal so I go with it as that is what he enjoys. He does then get stressed out about it which is partly why I want to simplify.