Christmas moaning thread - let it all out here!

[BlowDryRat]

Getting it started early this year! The general purpose of the thread is to have somewhere posters can let off steam about family, visitors, members of the public, the shops presents (or lack thereof), food and any other Christmas-related moans. No telling other posters to LTB, go NC or any other dramatic advice. No posting in expectation of advice or a reply. Long rants encouraged. Let it goooo!

My moan: DH has been ill all week and home from work. I was in the office for a couple of days but have been WFH the rest of the week. On Wednesday, DH dragged himself out of bed to spend the afternoon destroying the kitchen cooking for his hobby's Christmas party. He then went to the party, got back at 10-ish declaring that he was far too ill to clean up the mess he'd made in the kitchen and collapsed back into bed. He got up again on Thursday morning declaring that a bit of time in the fresh air would do him the world of good and buggered off to the hills for the day, returning after dark I cleaned the kitchen... Then today, when I was working flat out so I could finish for Christmas, he decided to set off the Roomba next to my desk. I turned it off so I could hear myself think. He then got out the vacuum cleaner I pointed out that that was equally annoying and he went back to bed in a grump. Because he couldn't possibly vacuum any other room in the house.

His mother is coming up at the weekend to stay for Christmas. She stays every year because BIL declared some years ago that he and SIL just wanted to have Christmas to themselves and wouldn't be visiting or hosting So we can never have a relaxing Christmas without hosting duties, because otherwise MIL would be by herself. I personally think that BIL is a selfish git, but DH won't gently suggest to him that he reconsider his arrangements. Absolutely nothing is ready for MIL's stay, except the stocking that I bought, wrapped and filled this week.

So I finished work, picked up a pile of washing, tried to take it upstairs but it was all slippery football kit so kept dropping bits. Found DH in bed, on his phone, curtains closed and all lights off. Dumped the washing and declared I was off to the gym where nothing would annoy me. Remembered while I was there that I was also annoyed with him because he ate my last birthday Ferrero Rocher. Went on the treadmill for a bit, then to a Spin class. Bought myself replacement chocolate on the way home. Now feel much better.

That’s very weird. I bet you are not the only guest resisting

I offered to work tomorrow morning on a short-staffed ward. I'll get home about half one when everyone will be here and wanting to eat and be loud and merry. Whereas really I'll want an hour to decompress. I'm not big on forced jollity and I know this ward has some patients with particularly challenging cases. But I'll be expected to be beaming and chatty when I get home.

Everyone has descended to mine. So far lovely - bar the odd bit of casual racism chit chat from oldies - but I've opened the champagne

I just feel like hired help, I gave my husband two jobs and neither have been done! I’m so pissed off but as we are hosting his DB for the week I have to force a smile upon my face. I’m so jealous of the families walking past our house all happy whilst I do all the cleaning and everyone else is sitting playing the switch with the kids!!!

Netflix's joyful Christmas offerings filled with fun, magic excitement and sparkle are - The Golden Hour- dark, dull and about terrorism and several other "men fighting" type films.

Amazon Prime has clearly cut its budget as I've started three extremely low budget films with dodgy acting before giving up. Disappointed. Very disappointed. I get little time for TV watching was hoping to be uplifted.

Christmas Day and dinner isn't the same since my dad died five years ago. The happy chaos of us in our twenties / thirties with partners and my younger children just can't be replicated. I used to happily cook for 16 on Xmas day with my dad as sous chef

And yet my younger siblings keep trying and feel disappointed each year that it's not as good.

I'm older and don't drink Xmas day as work on Boxing Day , my kids are young adults and siblings now have small children so can't relax as much . I still cook for all that want but can feel the dissatisfaction that's it's just not as good .

Of course it isn't - one of the family lynchpins is dead and my mum will always be a little broken from losing him . You can't sit around the table playing cards and drinking when you have a hyper 2 year old .

My beloved Nan died 9 weeks ago and all I really want to do is lay in the bath and cry

Oh and my absolutely lovely Dh is driving me round the twist with his sympathetic smiles , hugs and asking what he can do to make me feel better . Grief is unfixable

Oh and I just accidently posted this on the Xmas weather thread

My lovely in laws are staying with us and are so kind and helpful. But the contrast with my Dad who has advanced dementia and is now bed bound and non-verbal, and the absence of my late Mother, is so acutely painful. I could have howled in the care home car park this morning. And I also feel like a total cow for not being more grateful for the many blessings I have.

I think copious booze must be the only answer 😬

Is he trying to get you to join a cult?! I’d watch Escaping Twin Flames on Netflix as a primer
Oh, and don’t go if you don’t want to!

MIL is here and DP has turned into a mummy pleasing type of person... MIL keeps making silly awkward jokes and the one I like the least is "Pretend like you're in your own home!" when I go have a quick nap after lunch or take some time to read a book.

Parents already arguing and it's only Christmas eve. I'll have to hear both sides of the argument again from both of them tomorrow 🙄

You're doing an amazing job! Thanks for keeping the nhs going at Christmas. Could you have a cuppa in the car in the car park or around the corner from home and a bit of time zoning out on your phone before you go back home?

@Sorrynotsore I have coffee bags from Whittard that I use as a treat sometimes at work. I'm going to take one to work tomorrow and sit and have my coffee in the car park whilst playing some music! That was an excellent suggestion of yours, thank you.

I normally have an hour long commute but tomorrow's hospital is only 10 minutes away so I don't have my usual decompression time. Music and car park coffee will suffice though.

I hope you have a merry jolly Christmas!

I'm sure you're busy with your Christmas celebrations but I just wanted to share with someone that I had such a good shift!

Presents were quietly slipped into patients' rooms and bedspaces overnight. Two of the patients cried when I helped them open the parcels. Managed to sit and chat with one man who sat and told me his worries but we also shared stories and some chocolate. And there was a woman who has had a previous stroke, has very bad dysphasia and she gets super frustrated and low and angry. The only time I've been on that ward previously I left telling myself that I was going to find a way to communicate with her and encourage her with ADLS where possible (she appears to have given up entirely). Today we had a "conversation" a couple of times, she co-operated with drinking, washing and toileting and she did a couple of small tasks herself. Also got a couple of smiles from her. I'm delighted.

Didn't get my coffee but I am sitting in the car singing along to music 😁

My rants are minor in the grand scheme of things...

Had Covid last Christmas and was very poorly. I haven't been sick all year and come down with a rotten cold this week. I'm non stop sneezing. Typical!

My dishwasher broke just in time for Christmas!

Called mother (2 hours away) this morning so kids could say hi and share what they got from Santa. No mention, so I had to hint/ask if they had opened our presents. No thank you, nothing. Just a straight out blunt ask if I had the receipt for the present I got my father. A present I ran past him over a month ago.... If I spoke with my father he would be all gracious and saying thanks. This is typical of my mother. She has no tact. If it was another sibling, she'd be fawning over them. Rant over.....

@SparklyMularky
This reminds me of a time I flew "home" on a planned visit my mother one Easter.
All the sitting room chairs had been sent to an upholster's.
So I spent a few evenings squashed into an unright dining chair.

My dad coughs and sniffs (and hacks) constantly. I do probably has misophonia but christ it's driving fucking crazy. If he wasn't a dickhead I cold probably over look it.

Also my parents are so lacking in joy. Like they want it to be over and will do the most they can to not extend the celebrations either way.

Like yesterday I did something nice with my nieces, my mam was invited but didn't come. They don't like to plan. My dad just asked my mam what she's doing tomorrow now. Like you wouldn't have discussed this already. She said nothing really. Not in a I'm going to snuggle up and chill way. Like I'm just back to normal. It makes me so sad. Like there's no specialness or joy. Does anyone know what I mean? Or have family like this?

Haven't slept well all week, no idea why.

12 year old slept in our room last night on a mattress. From 2-3.30, he was wide awake, and fidgeted loudly every 10-20 seconds and woke us both up. I couldn't find my ear plugs. Then we got up at 7.30 to open presents....

We went out for dinner (that cost £75 each!) and it was a bit crap. Hard parsnips, green beans that still had all the stalks on (not just the odd one).

My mum is driving me insane. I'm snappy and got a banging headache due to lack of sleep.