Christmas moaning thread - let it all out here!

[BlowDryRat]

Getting it started early this year! The general purpose of the thread is to have somewhere posters can let off steam about family, visitors, members of the public, the shops presents (or lack thereof), food and any other Christmas-related moans. No telling other posters to LTB, go NC or any other dramatic advice. No posting in expectation of advice or a reply. Long rants encouraged. Let it goooo!

My moan: DH has been ill all week and home from work. I was in the office for a couple of days but have been WFH the rest of the week. On Wednesday, DH dragged himself out of bed to spend the afternoon destroying the kitchen cooking for his hobby's Christmas party. He then went to the party, got back at 10-ish declaring that he was far too ill to clean up the mess he'd made in the kitchen and collapsed back into bed. He got up again on Thursday morning declaring that a bit of time in the fresh air would do him the world of good and buggered off to the hills for the day, returning after dark I cleaned the kitchen... Then today, when I was working flat out so I could finish for Christmas, he decided to set off the Roomba next to my desk. I turned it off so I could hear myself think. He then got out the vacuum cleaner I pointed out that that was equally annoying and he went back to bed in a grump. Because he couldn't possibly vacuum any other room in the house.

His mother is coming up at the weekend to stay for Christmas. She stays every year because BIL declared some years ago that he and SIL just wanted to have Christmas to themselves and wouldn't be visiting or hosting So we can never have a relaxing Christmas without hosting duties, because otherwise MIL would be by herself. I personally think that BIL is a selfish git, but DH won't gently suggest to him that he reconsider his arrangements. Absolutely nothing is ready for MIL's stay, except the stocking that I bought, wrapped and filled this week.

So I finished work, picked up a pile of washing, tried to take it upstairs but it was all slippery football kit so kept dropping bits. Found DH in bed, on his phone, curtains closed and all lights off. Dumped the washing and declared I was off to the gym where nothing would annoy me. Remembered while I was there that I was also annoyed with him because he ate my last birthday Ferrero Rocher. Went on the treadmill for a bit, then to a Spin class. Bought myself replacement chocolate on the way home. Now feel much better.

Feel for you. My mum seems to make a point of being in bed when I arrive to see how frail she is (opposite I know) and then sits on her phone with constant notifications that are louder than bombs.

@9outof10cats - 😂 Thank you for cheering me up. Elderly parents - aaagh, but elderly tech-addicted parents?

I have wasted ten good days being ill with one of the worst viruses I’ve ever had. Crawled out of bed today to see Mt Everest of washing. Dh has just headed off to Tesco saying he’d better buy Christmas food (ugh….)

Told my husband I want a divorce today.

Oh I feel you on this vibe. The not being made to feel welcome but then feeling awful if you don't go. Normally because you're told you're missed so much!

It's just my parents who do this. sadly I only have on grandad now and he's welcoming and s a chat, he will be there so that's nice. As will my sister and nieces. (I did have a bit of drama about her exh potentially going but its resolved)

They do buy food and drink but it feel like the begrudge it a bit and make a fuss about cooking. They also never offer drinks to like an awkward level. They will often bugger off for long periods of time too. Ido love them but I do feel their words and actions don't match.

I feel very jealous of people who seem to get on with their family and have fun at Christmas. My parents are quite serious people so it's not a particularly joys affair.

Partner has come home pissed so I guess that's me wrapping the remainder of presents by myself!
I can't moan as he never goes out.. but why at peak wrapping time 😂

My moan is ludicrous because it’s self imposed misery but instead of finishing work at 5 yesterday for a 4 day break I opted to work a long day (12.5hours) and I’m doing the same again tomorrow🤷‍♀️

The money will be useful but wtf was I thinking, I feel like I have lost the plot! DH is retired so never works, me I’m pushing myself for no good reason except it seemed a good idea at the time🤪

Oh my. Big hugs.

We have a winner!! I feel for you @WowOK I’ve been there. It’s tough, but you’ve got this 💪

Honestly, I don't feel bad about it. Its been a long time coming. Although, I could do without the drama.

My little dog died today. Well yesterday now

Cheaper reduced prices on the yellow label items especially with christmas items , the supermarkets want to sell the items quick so instead why not offer half price or a 1/3 of the price to sell the items quickly rather than oh we reduce it by eg 20 p etc

Oh no. I'm so sorry to hear that.

all the best and positivity

So sorry x

So sorry to everyone coping with illness and especially hospitals at this time of year.

I miss my Mum. I used to 'do' Christmas at her house - just bodily took everything up to hers in the car with DH - because she was housebound and couldn’t manage by herself, but she loved the ritual, and we so enjoyed it. My remaining family would come even the ones I didn’t want. Then it all cut off suddenly when she died a few years ago and it’s never been the same. Christmas has kind of ceased to matter to me any more, even though I used to love all the preparations so much. I miss her more at this time of year than ever.

Weirdly, though, I still manage to feel upset that my only sibling and their family have yet again failed to organise gifts in time. I bought, wrapped and delivered theirs weeks ago, made a special journey to make sure they’d have them for Christmas Day, but they couldn’t do the same for me. I know it’s stupid but it feels hurtful. Like I don’t matter enough unless I’m there making all the effort to cook their Christmas dinner for them. So once again I’ll be randomly handed a Christmas carrier-bag some time in January or February and it all seems pointless by then.

Sorry to moan when everyone has bigger things to worry about.

So sorry. They break our hearts when they go ❤️

@Sorrynotsore that's so strange that they bugger off. Sounds like they need a break from all the interaction. Sorry you're dealing with that. Be nice to opt out wouldn't it.

I'm going to be setting off in a minute. We will have fun on the drive up so hopefully can steel ourselves for the day.

I was feeling stressed enough at spending the 25th with people I don't know. It's a good friends birthday and he's hosting. I have pretty bad anxiety. He just asked me to wear all white! It's a bit short notice and also ludicrous. I've declined but he's pushing it. I've had a panic attack about the whole shebang as I was already anxious about the new people.

That’s very odd as a request! I genuinely wouldn’t have anything all white, just one jumper or my wedding dress which is ivory anyway 😂 Sounds a disaster for trying to eat Xmas dinner and not spill something too. I don’t imagine you will be the only one pushing back on that

Ooh, a thread for me.

I secretly hate Christmas. No, I am not one of those boring people who makes a big fuss about hating it. I keep it to myself and go through all the motions. Here's my opportunity to let it out.

It's the same every bloody year. I hate the crappy weather and I miss the routine of normal everyday life.

There's so much pressure. We don't even do big presents/gatherings etc and yet I still feel that pressure.

Most of my family are odd, distant and/or dislike each other. So there's none of the cosy warmth that other people seem to enjoy. I want everyone to get along, have some grace and humour with each other. But in my family there's an awful lot of petty jealousy, competitiveness and even spite. Certain people cannot even be in the same room, cannot even show goodwill in the face of serious illness. What a waste, what ingratitude for each other, all because of insecurity, defensiveness and pure fucking egoism. I think this is the worst bit.

Not going to bother listing the details, and will work on my festive, generous spirit once I get this off my chest: fuck this. Thank you.

My moan is about what happens after Christmas. We have both sets of parents arriving here today and tomorrow for Christmas itself. Our DC are 5 and 3 and very excited, our parents are all lovely and low drama, the house is stocked, the presents wrapped and it should be a lovely couple of days.

But after that we have to wave them off, and then... Get in the car and follow them. Two nights with each side. Every year I say I'm never doing it again, and every year there's a compelling reason we need to see friends and/or extended family.

We'll arrive back on new year's eve with exhausted children who will only get one more day off before they're back into childcare,a mountain of laundry and a house still upended from hosting Christmas.

Sigh .

I have two adults coming for Christmas dinner. I had said I would text a week before hand to suggest what they could bring as they wanted to contribute.
I did so and said I had everything already planned and ordered for the actual dinner. I had left them chocolates/biscuits.
I thought that made it easier as it’s easy to carry and they can choose whatever is in their budget.
The reply was that they had already bought carrots and potatoes and would prep them ready to save me a job. Means I have to collect them and their heavy pans of vegetables on Christmas Day. (and they are both only 15p in Tesco 😁).

So sorry for all the posters with bigger problems.
The 28th is my most stressful day, when we have multiple sets of family visitors throughout the day (not enough room to entertain nicely for the amount of people that arrive), so many people you don't get a proper conversation with any of them, DD is also stressed because we only see them at Christmas so she doesn't know them and she's autistic. I'm stressed because my social battery is drained by the second lot of visitors and then it culminates in a great big fine at the pub with all of the visitors at the same time. Exhausting!

So sorry to hear about the posters with stressful problems. I very often think about Victorian women and their habit of having ‘nerves’ and needing to go away and lie down.
Having a headache and absenting yourself is hard to argue with. I hope some of you are able to get a little time away this year.