Lighthearted: If you're not British, what's the Christmas food that you just can't eat?

[BetsyBobbins]

I've been in the UK 22 years now, but I can't still bring myself to eat some of the traditional British Christmas food. I tried them once and never again. Mind you, this is coming from someone who got used to, and now loves baked beans among other things. But Good Lord, what's up with the Victorian puddings and cakes?

Christmas pudding: Looks like Elephant poo, smells like stale booze and tastes like soil.

Christmas cake: More of the same. Looks horrid, smells weird and has an even worse texture, a mix of soil and sawdust. Plus, how can you trust something that was cooked months in advance? I don’t.

Mince pies: now, that is the worst of all. Looks good, I’ll give them that, but they smell like vomit and have the texture of baby sick.

Tell me the ones you never got used to

Last night I made a gratin of sprouts (halved), winter squash (cubed) with 50:50 milk and double cream, Stilton and breadcrumbs so they aren’t quite a meal in themselves but a very important ingredient.
The only objection I’ve ever had to sprouts is that it is sheer hell picking them on a cold winter’s day, which it always is when it’s time to pick them.

Odd it should be credited to Delia. Her Christmas book, published in 1990, says nothing about them. Maybe she made them on TV a few years later.

I’ve tried others because I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. I just couldn’t understand why people kept raving about them, I thought I maybe had a bad batch. As for Christmas pudding, I have been offered that quite a few times at a few Christmas parties and I just couldn’t try more than once as the appearance is just revolting, it does look like elephant dung

Ooops, that was supposed to be a reply to @Bideshi

I agree - doesn’t look appealing!

In our house we don’t limit sprouts to Christmas either. They are a great winter veg - my son absolutely loves them! They definitely need to be cooked well though

Oh...this thread has made me smile, and I've not read all of it yet

but...

from comments already made -

redcurrant jelly instead of cranberry oh yes

cheese footballs - oh yes yes yes brings back memories, my mother would buy them in for me every christmas, can't remember when I would have last had one

and deep fried pizza - oh yes ! from the local fish and chip shop, can't remember how/if the cheese stayed on, must be 40 years + since I would have had one.

pigs in blankets, don't remember them from my childhood in the 60's / 70's

we had traditional stuffing in one end of the turkey, and sausage meat in the other end, sort of thing.

red cabbage - definitely not in our family in those years either, any red cabbage would have been pickled, in a jar ( shop bought ) in the fridge alongside the silverskin pickled onions.
but not with Christmas dinner

p.s. I know it was probably said in jest, but please don't give dogs Christmas pudding - dried fruit is dangerous for dogs.

I am British and don’t like mince pies, C’mas or pudding much, but if the ones you’ve tasted are as bad as you describe OP, I think you might just have married into a family of shite cooks. May I suggest Christmas pudding ice cream BYW?

Mash and roast together is mostly an American abomination. cauli cheese with the roast is insanity. Brussels sprouts boiled and naked are a bit of a horror but cooked with cream and bacon, or roasted I the oven they are good.

Roast potatoes and pigs in blankets are food of the gods and lift the Turkey.

Whoever upthread suggested bread with a Christmas cheeseboard is a nut job.

I'm British and hate mince pies and trifle. Christmas pudding is redeemed only by copious amounts of brandy butter.

Im British and I dont see the appeal of

Turkey
Pigs blankets
Brussels
Xmas pudding
Brandy cream
Xmas cake

I don't mind a mince pie but i think it's the pastry thats nice, rather than the filling

Love bread sauce - best thing about the Christmas dinner and the only thing that makes it different to a normal roast.

Come on then @BetsyBobbins, I'll ask again what do you eat for Christmas? Educate us culinary heathens. Otherwise this seems increasingly just a sneery thread, running down some yearly traditions that mean a lot to some people.

Or, you may run a marketing campaign for an Italian (insert other cuisine) food product and are trying drum up embarrassment for the typical fayre? Were you involved in Chuck out your chintz, way back?

Good point! She doesn’t appear to even have a recipe on line either.

I eat porridge with water, not even with milk, and I drink water, because I like to pretend that I live like Oliver Twist or some other miserable Dickens character. Reason I hate these three items is because I seriously envy eating them as only rich people eat them at Christmas.

It took me an embarrassingly long time to try out mince pies because I thought they had actual mince in them...

Tap water or from a puddle?

My three top Xmas food hates are pickled herring, beetroot soup and pigs trotter soup.

From a puddle, obviously, what do you take me for?

I was disappointed to find that they didn't.

Same!
They used to be a long time ago

That reminds me of that Friends episode that Rachel makes a trifle with meat in it and Joey eats all of it 😅

Cream? Good, jam? Good. Beef? Good!! 😂

@CuteOrangeElephant they did originally, hence the name.

I was born in the mid 70s and don't remember a Christmas without little sausages (wee willie winkies) wrapped in bacon. It was my first 'job' as a 3/4 year old.

@isthismylifenow i've never eaten a deep fried pizza but I've seen them made - they fold them in half like a calzone so the tomato and cheese is inside, but even still it's a crappy pizza so not much topping anyway. Obviously somebody's eating them (drunk?) but I've never bought one nor have i ever been asked by friends or family or order one in a big chippy order.

We had chipolatas wrapped in bacon in the 80s but we didn't call them pigs in blankets.

Lots of us eat sprouts (and kale) all winter in the UK too. But it's traditional to have them at Christmas and we will often cook them in a more 'fancy' way!