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Original poster

Lighthearted: If you're not British, what's the Christmas food that you just can't eat?

234 replies

BetsyBobbins · 09/12/2023 15:17

I've been in the UK 22 years now, but I can't still bring myself to eat some of the traditional British Christmas food. I tried them once and never again. Mind you, this is coming from someone who got used to, and now loves baked beans among other things. But Good Lord, what's up with the Victorian puddings and cakes?

Christmas pudding: Looks like Elephant poo, smells like stale booze and tastes like soil.

Christmas cake: More of the same. Looks horrid, smells weird and has an even worse texture, a mix of soil and sawdust. Plus, how can you trust something that was cooked months in advance? I don’t.

Mince pies: now, that is the worst of all. Looks good, I’ll give them that, but they smell like vomit and have the texture of baby sick.

Tell me the ones you never got used to

OP posts:
LusaBatoosa · 09/12/2023 18:29

LadyBird1973 · 09/12/2023 18:18

Tbh, I think there are a lot of mediocre versions of mince pies, Christmas cake and even turkey. If you've been unfortunate enough to only have tried the mediocre versions then I can see why you wouldn't like them. A really good mince pie or piece of Christmas cake is a thing of beauty! Try the latter with butter and cheese. You do need nice fruits and plenty of booze in them to make them good though.

It could be worse OP - at least we don't eat snails or horses or insects in this country.

I’d much rather eat snails than roast turkey!

PamelasSpamela · 09/12/2023 18:30

I’m British through and through and can’t stand any of the things you’ve mentioned - they’re all utterly gross! Get out the chocolate log for fucks sakes.

Callipygion · 09/12/2023 18:32

Mince pies need to be warmed up in a hot oven for 10 mins so the pastry crisps up. Then serve with custard or thick cream! Yummy.

Bringonthesunforthewashing · 09/12/2023 18:32

@Chilicabbage 😂, well that’s where you are going wrong!

tea bag in cup, pour boiling water over.
stir for a bit (you will get to understand how long, some tea brews quicker than others).
pour in milk, bit at a time until it has the colour needed, add more milk if it looks ‘watery’.
remove teabag.

I make a proper brew, can’t make coffee for anything though 😂

Chilicabbage · 09/12/2023 18:33

@Bringonthesunforthewashing 😂 yeah I just put everything in, walkto fridge and put milk in. Learned to just tell people to make it themselves 😂

SmudgeButt · 09/12/2023 18:34

Sausage meat stuffing.

Now look - I like sausages and I like meat loaf. So why not just admit that it's a minced pork meat loaf? It's not stuffing because you haven't blinking well stuffed it into anything!!!

I miss proper stuffing. Mom would get a loaf of cheap white bread, cut off the crusts, cut it into cubes. Cook up a big pile of chopped onions in a large volume of Mazola (corn oil) add a sprinkle from her 1 herb jar (so called mixed herbs), stir in the bread cubes. Let it cool a bit and then she would STUFF IT IN THE TURKEY!!! Which is why it is called stuffing!!!

We never had pigs in blankets but I've learned to love those (cuz I like sausages and bacon!!). I won't willingly volunteer to have brussels (particularly the way my MiL cooked them, on to boil in September). Christmas cake - bleurgh!!! My mom did serve us Christmas pudding once. I don't think even our dogs wanted to eat that!

And I'll admit I'm not a huge fan of turkey but I do enjoy eating the giblets. And as part of a festive meal it's ok - if it's full of stuffing, served with a big salad, mashed turnip, mashed potatoes and my mom's most excellent gravy (secret ingredients - a tin of condensed mushroom soup and instant coffee - seriously). Dessert has to include tiddly home made shortbreads and maybe an apple pie served with chunks of good cheddar cheese.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 09/12/2023 18:36

My pork, sage and onion stuffing (all right, Delia Smith's) is actually cooked inside the turkey. This may be one reason why my turkey tastes great.

dontcallmelen · 09/12/2023 18:36

I’m Irish, never had pigs in blankets when I was growing up I detest mince pies Christmas cake & Christmas pudding, I’ve never eaten bread sauce purely because it looks disgusting & when did macaroni cheese become a thing with a roast never eaten that either as the thought of melted cheese make me gag.

SmudgeButt · 09/12/2023 18:39

Oh and how can you call it Christmas if there aren't any meatballs?? Hundreds of them. I might actually have to make some now if I can find mum's recipe - as I recall it calls for 5 pounds of cheap ground round (aka beef).

Georgyporky · 09/12/2023 18:39

I dislike turkey , as well as pudding, cake & mince pies.

Goose is traditional, turkey is quite recent & should have been left in The Americas.

BTW, I'm white British

AlanBrazil · 09/12/2023 18:41

Love how it's all 'lighthearted' until it's flipped!

Original poster
BetsyBobbins · 09/12/2023 18:48

To the people saying I had some substandard versions of mince pies, Christmas cakes, puddings: I used to work in the head office of a company whose chairman was a Lord. Not a lot of people working in said office, 40 people tops. Every year we got a small Fortnum & Mason hamper from Lord Chairman with the offending trio in it: mince pies, Christmas pudding and Christmas cake. He was also fond of telling the office manager to put a plate of mince pies (F&M obviously) at reception throughout December.

I don't think the quality of their food can be disputed, can it? I'm sorry, it's just the smells, tastes and textures that are vile to me, it is what it is

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 09/12/2023 18:50

SmudgeButt · 09/12/2023 18:34

Sausage meat stuffing.

Now look - I like sausages and I like meat loaf. So why not just admit that it's a minced pork meat loaf? It's not stuffing because you haven't blinking well stuffed it into anything!!!

I miss proper stuffing. Mom would get a loaf of cheap white bread, cut off the crusts, cut it into cubes. Cook up a big pile of chopped onions in a large volume of Mazola (corn oil) add a sprinkle from her 1 herb jar (so called mixed herbs), stir in the bread cubes. Let it cool a bit and then she would STUFF IT IN THE TURKEY!!! Which is why it is called stuffing!!!

We never had pigs in blankets but I've learned to love those (cuz I like sausages and bacon!!). I won't willingly volunteer to have brussels (particularly the way my MiL cooked them, on to boil in September). Christmas cake - bleurgh!!! My mom did serve us Christmas pudding once. I don't think even our dogs wanted to eat that!

And I'll admit I'm not a huge fan of turkey but I do enjoy eating the giblets. And as part of a festive meal it's ok - if it's full of stuffing, served with a big salad, mashed turnip, mashed potatoes and my mom's most excellent gravy (secret ingredients - a tin of condensed mushroom soup and instant coffee - seriously). Dessert has to include tiddly home made shortbreads and maybe an apple pie served with chunks of good cheddar cheese.

You have turkey, mashed veg, salad and gravy. Salad and gravy. What is WRONG with you all???

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 09/12/2023 18:50

Georgyporky · 09/12/2023 18:39

I dislike turkey , as well as pudding, cake & mince pies.

Goose is traditional, turkey is quite recent & should have been left in The Americas.

BTW, I'm white British

Not that recent. Arrived in the UK in the 1420s. Started supplanting the goose in the 19th century, I think, possibly because they're easier/cheaper to rear, or bigger.

ModestMoon · 09/12/2023 18:50

I am English "in the blood" so to speak, but was raised abroad. I fucking love mince pies. But it did take a good ten years to acclimatise to them, so I'd encourage you to try them every year just in case they suddenly transform from rank to AMAZING.

I don't understand bread pudding or profiteroles. Both taste like slightly stale air. I don't like Christmas cake but like the idea of it. Dried fruit and brandy left to gather flavour for months should in principle be delicious, but it never quite lands for me.

christmaspaws · 09/12/2023 18:54

I only like iced mince pies

Christmas cake - my mum would eat the fruit bit, dad the marzipan and I would eat the icing Grin

Xmasblues · 09/12/2023 18:58

I’m British born and bred and can’t stand Christmas cake, pudding, mince pies, Brussel sprouts or pigs in blankets.

I absolutely love everything else though and I don’t think there’s anything better than a roast!

I guess when food was more sparse, these things would have been a lovely treat but now there’s so much choice and I’d rather have a lovely chocolate gatuex instead of Christmas pudding or cake.

LadyBird1973 · 09/12/2023 19:10

OP, it was me who said that maybe you'd only tired mediocre versions of Christmas cake etc. In blind taste tests, sometimes places like Aldi come out better than places like Fortnum and Mason. I know I preferred my Aldi Christmas pudding to the poncy 'artisan' one I was given as a gift and that resembled a canon ball!
But if you don't like them , that's okay. I do think that a lot of what we like is tied up with memories of childhood and just familiarity.

Renamed · 09/12/2023 19:12

Igneococcus · 09/12/2023 16:04

Can everybody have a pop at your traditional Christmas foods, OP?
I'm not British either but I wouldn't be surprised if some British MNetters would find this thread quite mean-spirited.

I would like to report this post for being silly

Mimilamore · 09/12/2023 19:13

Loads of Christmas goods I can give the swerve to and I'm English...
Pudding, cake and mince pies, hate wet fruit, not a lover of marzipan. Stollen, nope not keen, Pannetone, nope, all airy with lurking fruit...
I'm really not a fussy person and have tried all the above but no.
Pigs in Blankets, ambivalent about, okay if overdone. Red wine give me headaches but like a mulled cider.

ilovepixie · 09/12/2023 19:14

Cranberry sauce! It's like having jam on your dinner! Just why!

Shopper727 · 09/12/2023 19:15

I remember buying a Christmas cake from one of the school mums wasn’t cheap either and literally could’ve taken someone out with it it was solid and awful not really had one since. I like the icing and marzipan mostly so usually just a thin slice for me. I am not a huge fan of Turkey find it quite meh except the leg I guess. Love the rest. Love sprouts, stuffing parsnips etc my mum and grandmas Christmas dinners were amazing.
am now very hungry!!

Original poster
BetsyBobbins · 09/12/2023 19:15

LadyBird1973 · 09/12/2023 19:10

OP, it was me who said that maybe you'd only tired mediocre versions of Christmas cake etc. In blind taste tests, sometimes places like Aldi come out better than places like Fortnum and Mason. I know I preferred my Aldi Christmas pudding to the poncy 'artisan' one I was given as a gift and that resembled a canon ball!
But if you don't like them , that's okay. I do think that a lot of what we like is tied up with memories of childhood and just familiarity.

Yes, it's just the taste, smell and texture of them, no matter where they're from, sorry

OP posts:
Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 09/12/2023 19:18

ModestMoon · 09/12/2023 18:50

I am English "in the blood" so to speak, but was raised abroad. I fucking love mince pies. But it did take a good ten years to acclimatise to them, so I'd encourage you to try them every year just in case they suddenly transform from rank to AMAZING.

I don't understand bread pudding or profiteroles. Both taste like slightly stale air. I don't like Christmas cake but like the idea of it. Dried fruit and brandy left to gather flavour for months should in principle be delicious, but it never quite lands for me.

A pedant writes: profiteroles are French.

Phineyj · 09/12/2023 19:19

I am British and also dislike all those things in the OP.

My idea of Christmas pudding is brandy butter on a sliced banana!

I do love bread sauce though.