Their list is so expensive!

[flowerygloves]

So - we have exchanged the kid's lists. Ours were encouraged to aim for about £10-20 per gift with say 2 things at £50 ish for grandma and grandad.

One of my siblings has sent a list and EVERYTHING on it is £50 + should I ask for lower cost ideas? Or is £50 what you need to spend nowadays on 13 year olds to get anything decent?

Budgets should be set at what you can afford, however i do agree with people that its hard to get things for 20e ( and i hate buying stuff just for the sake of buying really ) have a total of 8 nieces and nephews between both side and ranging from toddlers to teenagers. The toddlers i actually give vouchers ( for kids shoe shop or clothes shop) and a small jigsaw or something as parents say to me they don't need toys, have loads. Teenagers get cash as its far easier ( and much prefer it ) They spend on what they want then, that's what i would do in your case, i agree with lists thinks its a good idea and you can get nice money wallets now to put under the tree with the cash in them

You should have decided on the budget before the lists were made. Speak to your sibling and explain you thought budget us around £20 and can they please send a new list.

Just buy one or two gifts instead of more cheaper ones

We don't get presents "from" certain people. My mum dad stepdad brother etc send me the money and I just put it towarda the things I am buying the kids. This started when the kids were small because, everything is from santa... But carried on as they got older because a) it's easier, they don't live locally, b) it means the kids don't get stuff they don't want / need
If they are writing lists with what they want, does it really matter who gets which present? It's not like they are choosing it

I disagree, my ds will be 15 at Christmas. I found gifts for £15 - £20 for his Godparents and Aunts to get for him.

But surely that depends on the tastes of your respective children? You can confirm that your child has plenty of cheap items they want but it doesn’t necessarily mean that matches with an entirely different child’s tastes. That’s silly.

@Tiredalwaystired I wouldn't say £15 - £20 gifts are "cheap" gifts tbh.

I think it depends on how close you all are as a family. My nieces and nephews I see as pretty much my own so £50 is I think is reasonable. If though you’re not overly close as a family then I can understand why you’d feel it was a bit OTT.

Can we not equate spending money on someone with love? I know that's not how you intended it but it certainly reads like that. If you were to flip it around it would be - if you really loved them, you'd spend the money on them.

So if a child only has very expensive tastes then perhaps then they may have to do without some presents. And actually £20 isn’t “cheap” for a present from a friend or relative.

I disagree, my ds will be 15 at Christmas. I found gifts for £15 - £20 for his Godparents and Aunts to get for him.

I agree with you. My DS just turned 15 this week and had a lovely spread of gifts including a fair few in the £5-20 bracket. All appreciated! If you look on the thread of ideas for teenage boys, the mighty Crimpit is the thing selling like hot cakes! All of £14.99!

Or you just give money towards as has been mentioned?

I think money is good for birthdays. It’s less about the presents and more about giving them what they want because it’s their special day.

Christmas is more about a nicely wrapped little something to open especially if they get gifts from many sources. Pants, socks, bath stuff is fine from aunts and uncles as useful. Parents can buy things their kids specifically want.

I used to get between £10-£25 from extended family when I was a child in the 1990's. That's £20-50 in today's money (comparing 1993-2023 on BoE inflation calculator).

Depending on how well off you are/how close you are to the child/how many you have to buy for then I think that range is about right.

wouldnt it be easier tojust lay cards on table-we can budget for £20 .would they want a one 4all card,cinema gift card ?or prefferred gaming card? ..you dont give to get.they can alter thir spend if happy to.

Way too expensive. My DBs and DSILs and I always swap lists but around the £10 - £20 mark. Just go back and ask if there are any little things or less pricey things they can suggest.

We all bought for our own children when they were small, £20 max and the gifts were exchanged by the siblings quietly by the car boot when we met up and parked.

It was great as we were all able to pick up things they really would like during the year and it was so painless.

As they grew it became cash but it was so straightforward when they were young.

It was originally devised by my husband and his siblings to make life easier, and it really was.

I'd tell my siblings straight.

We do lists too. Love them.

I budget £5 each for my siblings and neices. Sometimes they will get a book or craft thing for the children, nice biscuits or similar for the adults. Sometimes I will put the money together and get a game for each family or a DVD with some popcorn.

My siblings and I all agreed a budget ages ago (and have upped it once or twice) - £xx per child. (Christmas and birthdays, with more for birthdays). Not set in stone but a rough guide.

There are several of us, we all have one, two or three children - so there is an unfairness there in that we spend per child not per family - so the parents of the single child spend more on everyone else than the parents of three - but it was all agreed together. And we are all aware of the discrepancy so would probably flex up for the single child and down for the three.

It works for us - and keeps things reasonable (£15-£25 ish).

I suggest you have a chat with all your siblings and agree something similar?

(We also agreed an age when it stops - we aren't going to be buying for 35 year olds......).

It does sound a bit 'organised' but makes life so much simpler.....

It is so much harder as they get older as nothing is cheaper these days. My parents have said they are doing the nik naks this year as all too expensive and then it’s getting things they actually like so sooner give them money. I give my older nephews money (£20) and try and find a little nik nak the younger ones usually get something they want. Maybe have a look for any offer on the things on the list you might be surprised. Me and older brother always do £20 per child were my younger brother always does £50 each for ours but that’s his choice.

What’s on the list? We may be able to help you shop around to find a good deal? That’s my objective with presents, making something look closer to £50 but cost £30! Black Friday is crucial but still some good deals around. Also if it’s a girl and it’s skincare, you can get lots of boxes with a range of products for much cheaper than full size product of same brand. If it’s a boy and it’s branded sportswear, shop around and you can get some good deals. I know in principle you should push back on budget but if you didn’t want to do that, you could see how close you can get to their list within your budget, that’s what I would do.

It might be that someone else has got in first and bought all the cheap things. I have to keep an eye on my kids ones, by adding everything to basket to see if I get a warning that someone had already bought it. I find MIL tends to buy all the under £10 gifts I add on for ideas for aunties/uncles etc instead of one more expensive gift, but it's not obvious from my end right away that they have been bought. But if not, yes they are being cheeky. I even add £2 things like lip balms and haribo on to my kids lists so there is an affordable option and no assumptions.

Cash/vouchers it is then. They can put that towards the items they would like.

My sister has 4 kids and i have 3. we just decided we would no longer do christmas or birthday gifts because it’s just silly spending money to get same back. would rather go on a nice day out all together