Would it be really mean to regift ds Christmas presents back to him?

[Candlesandfluffythrows]

I was looking for something in ds toy cupboard today and I realised it's absolutely full of stuff I'd forgotten he had. Some of it brand new unopened.

Things like unopened Lego sets and science kits, brand new felt pens.

He's got the memory of a goldfish and as we are already stuck for ideas I'm considering wrapping a couple of things back up for this year.

Of course he will still have other presents that he's asked for.

How does she know what he remembers, or might remember on seeing it again?

Anyway, the whole thing is dishonest, even if she doesn’t actually say lying words. She’s pretending his own possessions are new gifts she’s bought for him.

I shall leave this as I have said my view. OP, the vast majority on this thread are advising you not to do this and I hope you will listen.

Is Santa gaslighting? That a strange man sneaks into your house at night and leaves gifts.
love this ^ 😂😂😂

of course re gift it to him , but only if you are sure that he doesn’t remember plus the person who gave it to him won’t notice. He may mention this excitedly.

We had it a lot with DD, she did extracurricular activities plus needed adults help due to additional needs. She never was able to wake up up 6.30 and built a set of Lego quietly in her room waiting for parents to wake up. She needed one of us joined her.
I never regifted her big Legos but a few times did it with a small game/ puzzle/ felt pens.

Personally I wouldn’t re gift to him. If it was me I’d find a charity that is collecting toys for a toy appeal. I do this often as ds has limited interests and gets brought stuff from relatives that goes unopened, I get joy from thinking another child who doesn’t have much will appreciate what ds will not (he is autistic not ungrateful)

or sell it for the extra pennies

YANBU!! The replies on this thread are actually a joke 😂 OP I did exactly the same thing, had a birthday party and ds was given so so many gifts! After opening them he immediately played with the ones he loved, I put the others away for a couple of weeks. Any he remembered and asked for I gave him. Some I knew he would like but didn't want to add to the mountain at that moment in time I saved for Christmas and the things I knew he wouldn't be interested in were either regifted to others for their birthdays or sent to the charity shop. It's easily done OP.

I do this every year! I also hold back some Christmas and birthday gifts to be reopened in the school summer holidays.

She doesn't know, she's making an educated guess.

If he remembers she fesses up.

That's how healthy families function. Children don't suffer long term damage from a re-gifted present. No-one screams abuse. You have a laugh and move on.

Oh my goodness, some people, 😂😂talking about the idea of regifting him pens and Lego as verging in abuse 😂😂. Crazy.

OP I can easily see how this happens, our DS is in a similar situation in that he get lots of presents given to him from people that when put away are sometimes forgotten about, it's not that he doesn't like them, it's that they are put out the way (for space) then he plays with his other million toys and we forget about the ones put away. I would have no problems in wrapping up a pack of pens as a stocking filler for him. With Lego I wouldn't, I would do as you did and go through his things with him.
We are decluttering ready for Christmas, big toys need selling before more big toys arrive 🤦‍♀️

What about wrapping them up for kids in the family instead that way you still save money on buying for them or donate them to less fortunate kids

Hi,

My daughter has just turned six and we have a similar problem. I definitely would not regift them to him on Christmas Day.

Some other ideas:
Use them to make an advent calendar (I probably wouldn’t wrap them all).
Write the toys on lollipop sticks or bits of paper - have a lucky dip to see what he plays with.
If you do elf on the shelf get the elves involved in playing with the toys.
Sort through the things you don’t think he will play with so you can sell/regift.
Get your son to sort through his toys and pick things to donate to charity.

My daughter needs a reminder of what toys she has. She is more likely to play with them if she only has one or two new things in front of her. She loves it when an adult gets involved.

@Candlesandfluffythrows I would absolutely do this. You know him best. If he has forgotten about them, has too many toys to play with anyways and would enjoy them a second time around - why not? Alternatively, you could try to sell them and use the money for experiences/ days out, but that's just an idea.... Why waste money, buy more stuff if you already have perfectly fine presents he'll be delighted with....

Will be a fun story when he's older (and maybe has his own kids 😉)

He’s 8, he will remember. My son is the same age and definitely would. We also have been gifted tonnes of Lego sets he’s just not that into. I intend on donating or giving away to friends if he decides he really isn’t bothered.

I always regift: to other kids, raffles, tombola, fete donations, etc
I don't regift to same child though

That's even worse... you are taking gifts given by someone else, actively hiding them from your child so he forgets and then passing them off as either your own work or 'Santa' (which will in the long run be credited to you).

Tacky, moralless and shameless to be honest.

See what stuff he wants to keep and sell the rest/regift/donate the stuff you agree he won’t use.

To try and cut down the amount of stuff we’ve started doing something you want, something you need, something to read, something to do and something to wear. We get them two of each from us (whilst they are little and their wants aren’t expensive) plus a gift from ‘Santa’ (as they are 6 and 2) and a gift from each other. This year one of their ‘something to do’ is tickets to a theatre show they will both enjoy. We’ve asked grandparents to do the same and if they want to give more then to give us money towards an annual pass for days out (we did Merlin this year).

The Santa gift is always a smaller toy they want and we tell them they only get one gift from Santa and it can’t be too big as Santa has to get something for every child in the world. This was based on something I read a while ago about parents who can’t afford big gifts and therefore give expensive gifts from you as other kids don’t understand why one kids gets a switch from Santa and they only got a hat and scarf.

Don't talk shit. It's just to things. Not bloody heirlooms ffs.

Sounds sensible.

Wowzers - some people are really over-thinking this!

Yes OP - use the gifts again - they are unopened.

It's hardly the crime of the bloody century!

suggest he has a clear out before Christmas
you can either sell or donate

do not regift!
he obviously doesnt want these presents - he didnt like them the first time
very mean to do that

He's 8 - he didn't put them away because he didn't like them - his mum put them away as he had too many gifts.

That is obvious

I'd be very wary of thinking you know what he does or doesn't remember.

My mum did this with my stocking, thinking I wouldn't remember, I absolutely did and it really took a shine off the day.

He'll be getting other things for Christmas, switch games, football stuff.

Then surely that's enough? Why do you think he needs more?

Given that he's a pretty fortunate kid, and he'll presumably be getting presents from other people too, I'd donate the unused stuff.

I'd donate the unused stuff.

You'd discuss it with him first, though, right?

Or are you one of those people who eats someone else's saved slice of cake, saying "oh you'd left it so long I assumed you didn't want it"?

This thread has turned so ridiculous. Thank you for the sensible, balanced replies in amongst the crazy 🙄

I've explained, repeatedly, why he hasn't played with the toys yet. Wish people would stop saying he doesn't like or want them. Yes he does.

The reason I'm sure he won't remember certain things is because, for example. If we're in the supermarket he'll see a Lego set and ask if he can have that one for Christmas or his birthday but I know he's already had that one. That's just one example. I'm sure people will now be horrified by that. But I know my child and I know what he's like.

Even if I had done this and even IF he did realise. I'd have just been honest and told him I thought I'd try to make the present exciting again. I certainly wouldn't do what a pp suggested and deny all knowledge.

It would hardly have ruined his Christmas given that he'd be having other things.

I cannot see how giving his toys away or persuading him to give them to needy children is less worse than wrapping a couple of things back up.

I won't be doing this as on balance the best thing is to do as some have said and sort through his things with him and rotate the toys, which is what I've been meaning to do.

But those accusing me of abuse and such like must have their own issues.

so bring the toys downstairs,
he thinks he likes lego
there is not much time to play it, i get that