Would it be really mean to regift ds Christmas presents back to him?

[Candlesandfluffythrows]

I was looking for something in ds toy cupboard today and I realised it's absolutely full of stuff I'd forgotten he had. Some of it brand new unopened.

Things like unopened Lego sets and science kits, brand new felt pens.

He's got the memory of a goldfish and as we are already stuck for ideas I'm considering wrapping a couple of things back up for this year.

Of course he will still have other presents that he's asked for.

If he's getting Switch games and football stuff other than small stocking fillers why does he need more gifts?
As others have said - donate these to one of the many toy collections that happen this time of the year. He wasn't interested in them when he was originally given them so give them to someone who would be.
He doesn't need "extra" presents.

I'd 100% regift it back to him if you think he wouldn't notice. Or wait a year and give it back then.

All the people who are saying he clearly has too much stuff and not to buy him anything else - what do you suggest OP does at Christmas or Birthdays? She has to get him something (would be incredibly disappointing to him if not) and this is a great solution.

For the Lego set I'd regift with a homemade voucher for a hot chocolate and a couple of hours spent together building it.

For the felt pens I'd regift with a canvas or one of those kids' art display frames and ask him to draw some art for the walls.

Turn them into experiences a bit more

@CatOfTheLand she's getting him Switch games and football stuff. That's plenty.

Dd often puts aside some of the mass of birthday presents (Gdcs invite a lot of kids to their parties) for re-gifting for the many b-day parties they attend.
You need to have made a note of who gave what though!

If that’s not an option, or even if it is, at this time of year I’d def. donate at least some unopened presents to a toy bank - they usually have a trolley for the purpose at my biggest local supermarket.

In that case, you’ll be regifting toys that he STILL won’t play with. What’s the point?

And you’ll carry on the habit if ‘over giving’. When actually as children grow up, they get ‘less’ presents (but often more expensive ones 😆😆)

Don't assume he doesn't know what he has.
DS had duplicate gifts one year and I regifted one to a friend's child.
DS noticed - despite never having acknowledged that he knew he had 2 of them.

If you're already in the cycle of giving him stuff he doesn't want and him having too much, I'm not sure why you would want to perpetuate it though.
It sounds like he's already getting plenty of things. If you really must have a big pile of presents then why not go for practical things that will definitely get used? Or go for experience type presents (e.g. season ticket to favourite local attraction).

I wouldn't do anything behind his back.

I'd probably show him the stuff & ask him to pick out 3 things he wants to keep, then suggest selling the rest - cash to go towards something big he really wants.

If you have younger dc in the wider family you'd usually buy for, maybe 'buy them' off ds, money again to save for something he wants?

I think he's probably just growing out of modelling/craft activities a bit. My ds & dd2 both did pre teens, whereas now 17yo dd1 would love lego & felt tips for Xmas - she does lego & art to relax in between IB essays 😄.

For presents in future, maybe a stocking of useful or consumable things to go alongside the switch games & footy gear. Funky socks, sweets, toiletries & a couple of silly toys or card games used to go down well with mine from age about 8 - still do at 19, 17 & 15 tbh...

I would take them to donate to the Lidl toy bank!

I don't think you should give it back to him but I do think you could be more proactive over the course of a year and go through the cupboard, bring things forward, both physically and in his mind, and make a bigger effort to use the toys. He is only 8 and it's fine to help him.

I would do a whole clear out with him, getting rid of some of the more played with things and encouraging use of the newer things. Then get him fresh gifts for Christmas.

Just don’t buy him any more stuff then. Goodness he is only 8 years old. Buy him the things he needs and has asked for and stop buying so much for him.

@Needmorelego but surely some of these would fit in a stocking too. Eg. The pens

And she's clearly in the mindset to buy more - plus, assuming there's family, grandparent etc gifting too that these can be split between

Plus, his birthday

Gosh I didn't expect to be told off for buying too much.

To be clear, we haven't bought ALL of these things and I don't give the dc huge piles of presents.

The dc get around 5-6 things each off us so as an example, ds would get 2 switch games, a football top a onesie, a selection box then a small toy of some sort such as a nerf gun/small to medium box of Lego. That's it. Then socks, felt pens, choc coins, a book in a stocking.

What has happened over the years is he's had birthday parties, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends have given gifts. We have sold on and donated things but one year in particular he received a lot of Lego.

If he really isn't interested in the Lego sell it. Unopened sets will sell second hand for good money.
Then use the money to buy something he will actually use. Seems silly to re-gift something he really wasn't interested in when he first received it.
Also give wish lists to the relatives - so again he actually gets something he is interested in.

I suppose I've kept the Lego because he does like it, he just ended up with too much.

What I probably need to do is what a pp suggested and sort through it all bringing unused stuff to the front and help him choose/remember it's there.

We've been so busy as dc play a lot of sport we're out of the house a lot.

I've thought of doing this.

How good is his memory?

If he's got a good memory, try doing it for birthday, as opposed to Christmas.

Otherwise, just start gifting the unopened stuff away for presents to friend etc instead of buying new

Absolutely regift items he doesn't realise he has.

No point in wasting money and buying new. You save and he gets the joy of receiving a gift.

No brainer as far as i'm concerned.

Ignore the grinch mentality and you've spoilt him critics.

I've done this before and also returned gifts for cash and put it in his bank account when he received duplicate things or ones he wouldn't use.

Obviously only do things he might not remember and even if he does and asks about it explain it in terms of the three Rs and being environmentally friendly.

I would regift it to be honest and if he recognises it, just tell him Santa likes to remind children that they have toys they haven't played with yet. A year on he might be more interested in some of the old stuff. If he still hasn't played with it in a few months then sell.

Try not to buy him the toy - ie the lego set youd planned. Regift one he already has, or else accept that grandparents, aunties, uncles etc will buy gifts meaning he doesnt need (or particularly want!) the extra toy.

People saying 'if he hasn't opened them... x, y, z' are really simplifying things.

Most kids basically have 'executive function disorder' (not just SN kids) because they haven't learned those skills yet.

If you learn the 'clutterbug' system you will learn most children are 'butterflies' (same as many people with SN/LD etc...) and struggle with long term memory of non visual items.

If something is put away behind a door it is easily forgotten/lost about, its not ungratefulness or two much stuff its simply how brains function.

Adults do it all the time too, are people honestly saying they have never bought something (maybe a gift for someone etc...), put it away somewhere and completely forgot about it until they stumbled on it by accident again.

I absolutely wouldn’t do this. It’s dishonest and fucking with his head, basically. You have no idea whether he remembers these items or not.

I would talk to him about having a clear out and eBay anything that’s saleable or else charity shop if he prefers.

I've got a similar situation here. So many duplicate and very similar gifts were given at DS summer birthday party and taking up so much space. I was going to regift as DS attended parties in turn but seemed too risky as I can't remember who gave what.
I've decided to add the RRP to his savings account and donate the toys. No point in having them hanging around forever. He'd definitely notice if I tried to give them back to him.

If he didn't like it first time round why would he like it now? He must be getting too much stuff. I'd donate sone if those and be more mindful about what he really wants this Xmas.

I think it’s really sneaky, sorry op it just doesn’t sit right with me at all.

Why not talk to him about having a clear out and making way for new things. Any duplicates can just go out and yes, re gift, charity collections, etc. But no, don’t rewrap for him- it’s mean.

i don’t think this is true, he might have been the wrong age for some of the items

Absolutely, regift it back.

But look at the reasons he has so much - you're clearly over buying. He has so much he hasn't even opened some toys. Absolutely, regift it back.

But look at the reasons he has so much - you're clearly over buying. He has so much he hasn't even opened some toys.