The most unsuitable presents your dcs have ever received?

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

When dd1 was only 2, a BiL (quite a lot younger than dh) gave her a book entitled Cuba For Beginners.
It was all cartoon style, but quite obviously for politically-minded adults.
When I laughed he said, ‘Well, it does say for beginners…’

For years he gave dds nothing, but did finally make up for it when they were mid teens - with 2 x crisp £50 notes each. And that was ages ago, so to say they were delighted is putting it mildly.

My then ten year old got given GCSE science text books as a present from my brother and girlfriend.
My mum likes to get the grandchildren the same gift however a 14 year old boy, 10 year old boy and a 5 year old girl its a bit impractical. Last year she got my 14 year old a kids alexa shaped like a panda (he already has an Alexa show).

When DD was 18 months we asked for a fairy tale book as she was really good listening to longer stories for bedtime already.

We got: The full original set of Grimm's fairy tales in three paperbacks, small text I had to squin my eyes to read and not a single picture in sight.

The books are still unread on our shelves, DD is now 16.

My Duncle gave my 3 Stanley knives, cutting trays and some shapes to cut around. He was an ex teacher and my DC were 10, 8 and 6. I miss him still, as he died around 10 years ago, but his presents were just the best (in a bad way).

Ds 7 got a BB gun one Christmas.. Still stashed in my room. Waiting for the law to allow the shooting of fucking seagulls....

When he was a newborn, DSil bought DS clothes in age 9-10. We thought this was a mistake but she said it was so he would grow into them. And expected us to store them for him. For a decade.
The worst part was, it was Primark's finest and one of the tops had one sleeve longer than the other.

She did it because Mil bought some "tiny baby" size clothes for DS (even though we had told her he was measuring 2-3 weeks ahead on the 30, 32 and 34 week scans) and was mortally offended that these didn't fit him in the hospital when he was born. Mil was so upset about this and even when I went to Tesco a week later and found the same sleepsuits in a bigger size for DS, she still wouldn't forgive me and seemed to think I'd had a 99th percenter on purpose.

A beautiful shop that was too big to go anywhere in our house and was clearly intended for mils garage?
Unbelievable... What a let down it would have been nicer to have said this is a gift that will have to stay here.

Ripped tat from sil including a book for a non reader and an advanced book at that.

When DS was 2 he was given a Nerf blaster and darts (they are for age 8+), and Thor’s Hammer (age 6+). Both went in the loft for years.

We gave DD a Sylvanian Families set. For years afterwards we were find odd figures and bits of clothing all over the house. She loved them but doesn't have a tidy bone in her body. Unfortunately she takes after me.

Academic planner diary, for a 4.5 year old who couldn't write anything more than his name (badly)

DS's friend gave him a Chinese lantern for his 8th birthday, as in those floaty things that you light up and they fly off into the air. His mum said to me, 'We picked it together', grinning broadly really pleased with herself.

Dd who was 2 a porcelain doll for her to display as a collection from her nana (my mum). Mum asked dd what she wanted for Christmas a month before, dd told her a teddy she likes. Porcelain doll given instead. Went Christmas evening to mums with dd who brought doll with her. Mum said it wasn’t for playing with and took it off her to put on a shelf. So thanks for getting a 2 year old a doll she’s not allowed to touch. Guess what I got for every Christmas growing up 🙄

This year dd is 8. Mum asking her at the weekend what she wants for Christmas to her face. Dd told her a squishmallow teddy. Mum tells her I’m not getting you that, you have one already. Mum then sends me a link to a wooden money box she’s getting her instead. It can go with the other 4 money boxes she’s got her so far. I’m not trying to be ungrateful but why bother asking dd what she wants if she then says she won’t buy it but will buy something she wont use?

2 very large electric scooters for a 3 year old and 6 year old. They came in plain cardboard boxes, no branding, no instructions, nothing. I refused to even charge them as I think my house would have burnt down!

A strictly cone dancing trivia game. They were 6&8.

They enjoyed watching the dancers but really had no idea about the celebrity background!

Unfortunately my DM thinks in volume not quality.

DD then 3, got a make your own soaps kit from in laws. They also keep getting her a tonne of dolls when she absolutely hates dolls (she's 5 now).

My ex bought DS both electric and acoustic guitars. He then refused to fund any kind of guitar lesson as apparently its not his job to pay for extras. He also banned DS from having the guitars at his house to practise/teach himself on YouTube.

Lots of random ones, from my siblings and their partners or my parents. A few examples.

A baby blanket and rattle for a 3 year old.
Polly pocket set for a 14 year old.
A tiger who came to tea dvd, we do not own a dvd player.
Lol surprise stationery set for 14 year old.
A Nerf dog ball thrower set for 8 year old who loves nerf guns, we don't own a dog.

I appreciate they are well intentioned, but I wish they would ask instead of us having to screen gifts before the kids open them to avoid any upset.

Looking for tips as I have imposing in-laws and dread whatever they'll come with next. I try and leave stuff at theirs now!

What stands out is playdoh for our 6 month old (3+) and a toy television (went to charity).

My dad bought my DS (then 4) an airfix internal combustion engine model kit. Which was badged as 14+ and came with no glue and no paint. So essentially a million tiny pieces of grey plastic and a motor. He looked at the box and didn't have a clue what the picture was of.

A history book in a language I don't speak very well (DCs know a few words and would like a picture book) which was inscribed to my DN who had obviously decided it was too boring.

It was me who twice bought the crap presents for my nieces (who were very polite and said thank you, but you could see the disappointment and confusion on their poor little faces), but in my defence, I bought exactly what I was told to buy by their parents. The first year was lampshades and waste paper baskets to go with their newly decorated rooms (which were both on their Christmas lists apparently 🙄) and the second year was electric toothbrushes (which their mum again swore to me that they were desperate to have). After that, I refused to ask again and gave money in a card, which was always received with a genuine smile.

The toy cross bow at 3yo. It was actually quite cool, fired hard plastic darts with suckers, very far and very hard, great for target practice........ but not for a 3 yo!

It went in the loft and thinking about it now, it is probably still up there (he is 19 now!). I'll need to ask dh to have a look (I don't go up there, too many spiders!) and can give it to ds for Christmas this year!

A book featuring Shakespeare's plays. Now, it was specifically designed for children so I think the plays were simpler/abridged versions. But even so......

Just the word Duncle made me laugh. He sounds like he was fun. I'm sure the Stanley knives were useful eventually!

For his fourth Christmas DS, who is non verbal, was given Guess Who. 🙄

When he was about 6 or 7, ds3 got three books from his grandfather, my FIL, who lives in Cornwall. There was a book of cartoons of Cornish cats, a history of the Cornish pasty, and a book about Cornish cheeses. We were all a bit baffled.