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Original poster

Cooking Christmas dinner with 3 week old…

61 replies

VillageFete · 21/10/2023 09:23

Hi,

All being well, my DD will be 3 week’s old at Christmas (planned C section)

I already have a 14 year old and 4 year old.

The plan was to have inlaws (MIL/FIL/BIL and his 5 year old son) Up for pastries/sausage sandwiches/bucks fizz around 11am and then eat out with my mum and sister at 3:30pm as they’re nurses and both work Christmas day until 2pm.

I felt the breakfast issues might have been a little ambitious this year as my 4 year old son and 5 year old nephew go absolutely crazy together- the house is chaos with them on Christmas morning. Nephew’s mum (SIL) stays home to prep their dinner and MIL/FIL/BIL go back for dinner about 1pm, so we have them here for about 2 hours. Usually not a problem, but i’m dreading the chaos with a 3 week old and very little sleep? Want to caveat this with MIL only ever wants dinner at her other son’s house, she doesn’t have it with us (Although obviously welcome) She prefers to have it there, as she’s very close to SIL’s side of the family and they all have it together- we’ve not been invited but i’m sure would be welcome if we asked.

Regarding eating out - there’s been an issue with the booking and they can now only accommodate us at 12pm. Massive mistake on their part and i’m not very pleased. Everywhere else local is fully booked - I’ve checked.

With mum and sis working until 2pm, neither of them can do dinner plus their house is very small, no dining table etc so much easier for them to come here. Both are very close to my 14 year old DD and she loves spending Christmas with them.

I now need to do dinner, but need it to be as stress free as possible. How can I accommodate inlaws on Christmas morning whilst trying to do dinner with newborn? I’m thinking i’ll ask my mum to prep a few things the day before and bring them with her on Christmas day.

I usually love hosting, it’s never a problem and i’m very OTT with my Christmas dinner - most things from scratch and it takes a lot of prep. Obviously I need to dial it down this year. What can be made in advance?!

I’m probably massively overthinking this and won’t give a crap once baby is born. I’ll be recovering from a C section and tubal litigation. But at the minute I don’t want to offend anyone and still want my kids to have a nice Christmas and see the people that they love.

OP posts:
VikingLady · 21/10/2023 09:25

I would say you may well not be able to. I certainly couldn't at three weeks PP.

But a lot of pubs and restaurants do Christmas dinners you can pick up and take home now. It started in lockdown, but a lot still do it. Maybe arrange that?

PodcastIdeas · 21/10/2023 09:27

I had a 2 week old one Christmas (also post c-section) and a 4 year old. We hosted as we had the most space but I did nothing. DH sorted the 4 year old and they all (mainly my mum and sister) did the cooking/washing up. I’d offer to host but say everyone else needs to step up and do the work as you’ll be focussing on your newborn and other kids.

Oganesson118 · 21/10/2023 09:27

Can't your husband cook it? Christmas dinner isn't especially complicated. It's just a roast dinner we make a big deal of.

M&S and places like that do a lot of the veg pre-prepped to shove in the oven.

Tiredmum100 · 21/10/2023 09:30

Can your partner do the cooking? I'm sure your mother and sister can help lay the table, etc, when they arrive? Scale back on what you offer to in laws in the morning. Maybe some pastries and toast/pate instead? You're going to be recovering from a c section, and maybe breast feeding? Your partner needs to take over this year.

Littlehouseinthebigcity · 21/10/2023 09:32

If you were happy to spend money on a meal out I would look at something like Cook! We have used them for various family get togethers, and my parents gave me vouchers after my second was born and it was an amazing present. Get something that you can just stick in the oven and forget about, but will taste good! Get a tasty dessert too if you can 😁

flexigirl · 21/10/2023 09:33

Get hubby to cook on the day - I made things out of jamie Oliver's Christmas book like the get ahead gravy and froze it, the stuffing, the meatloaf. All cooked perfectly on Christmas Day so have continued to make and freeze these every year about six weeks before Christmas . Try not to put too much pressure on yourself ! Can mum and sister pitch in and have a later dinner at 4pm? I'm sure they wouldn't want you to get any internal or stitch tears just to cook dinner for them!

Parker231 · 21/10/2023 09:33

Your only job will to be focus on your new born. Everyone else can sort out the shopping, preparation, cooking and clearing up. Order everything ready prepared (COOK food is lovely - we have it most years).

Alternative is everyone does their own thing this year so you only have your DH and DC’s and your DH can sort out the Christmas lunch.

Sk8erboi · 21/10/2023 09:33

You could make ahead and freeze a lot of the components, do this before you have the baby.
That will essentially leave heating up on the day for most bits which will make things easier.
I dont remember if you mentioned a partner but he can help if he's there.

You could also do as pp said and get a big m&s shop although this will be more expensive.

As for entertaining visitors, explain that this year you will have a very new baby amd be recovering from a c section so they are more than welcome but they can bring or sort out breakfast when they get there. Let them know you're doing dinner that day so can't do too much. Also could they come earlier?

shockeditellyou · 21/10/2023 09:34

This is not your problem and anyone who thinks it is needs a kick up the arse. We had this scenario - I ordered everything from M&S in October and DH cooked everything on the day. M&S is idiot proof, it’s cooking by numbers.

Turtlegurl888 · 21/10/2023 09:34

You might be ok recovery wise considering you've had two kids previously, especially if you've had a section before, and it is planned.

There's no chance I could have stood to cook a big roast at 3 weeks post emergency section.

If I were in your position I'd rearrange your in laws coming in the morning. Maybe they could come over boxing day or the 27th? Break it up a bit for you.

ConnieTucker · 21/10/2023 09:35

Do y op not have a partner / husband? Surely this would be his job.

Emma543 · 21/10/2023 09:35

I had a 5 week old last Christmas.. ordered a lot of ready done stuff from M&S and then cooked it all in foil trays and ate off foil serving platters 😆so only had cutlery to Chuck in the dishwasher after.
we actually had a really lovely time still!

WeirdPookah · 21/10/2023 09:36

Have you had a C-Section before?

I had complications from internal stitches splitting, back into hospital a week later, I was still barely able to move at 3 weeks post surgery.

It's awful to think of taking on so much, you are not meant to be lifting things beyond baby, stretching or bending over.

Original poster
VillageFete · 21/10/2023 09:38

Massive control freak here, I admit. I shudder at the thought of him cooking the dinner. He doesn’t cook at all. He tries but is crap 😱He’s brilliant at pitching in with cleaning/seeing to the kids etc… He’d do anything and everything else bar cook.

Mum will definitely step in and do anything I ask. Her working hours make things a little more
difficult as she’s working until 8pm Christmas Eve and 2pm Christmas day, but will certainly do anything she can - so if it’s a later dinner, so be it.

Am I awful for feeling really uncomfortable with DN and DS causing chaos in my house on Christmas morning? It’s usually not a problem but I just don’t think I can handle it this year. Toys everywhere, hyped up on excitement, loud and running everywhere?! But then I wouldn’t want them to feel unwelcome and not invite them.

OP posts:
Original poster
VillageFete · 21/10/2023 09:39

Sorry, there’s been more replies since I typed the above. Very grateful for them and reading them all!

OP posts:
Babyboomtastic · 21/10/2023 09:39

I could have done it 3 weeks after section, but not with a 4yo (and older child) as well. But crucially, I'm not sure I'd have wanted to, andy husband would have done it. He does most if Christmas dinner anyway.

Lilibert456 · 21/10/2023 09:39

For one year couldn't you just be at home with your husband and children. Christmas food can come from M&S. I am sure everyone will understand. If they don't then they are not worth bothering about. Maybe a few visitors on Boxing Day at teatime but not even that if it doesn't suit you. Sounds good to me.

Parker231 · 21/10/2023 09:42

VillageFete · 21/10/2023 09:38

Massive control freak here, I admit. I shudder at the thought of him cooking the dinner. He doesn’t cook at all. He tries but is crap 😱He’s brilliant at pitching in with cleaning/seeing to the kids etc… He’d do anything and everything else bar cook.

Mum will definitely step in and do anything I ask. Her working hours make things a little more
difficult as she’s working until 8pm Christmas Eve and 2pm Christmas day, but will certainly do anything she can - so if it’s a later dinner, so be it.

Am I awful for feeling really uncomfortable with DN and DS causing chaos in my house on Christmas morning? It’s usually not a problem but I just don’t think I can handle it this year. Toys everywhere, hyped up on excitement, loud and running everywhere?! But then I wouldn’t want them to feel unwelcome and not invite them.

I think you’re mad inviting so many people three weeks post surgery. If your DH can’t/won’t cook , do a cold buffet.

Missingmyusername · 21/10/2023 09:42

Order it from a hotel/pub and collect it?

Ask everyone to prep a dish and bring it? So you only do roast pots, meat (if you eat it) and the gravy?

Get someone else to cook it and wash up. Pop it all in those silver trays, dispose of afterward.

I’d probably stretch to making sandwiches and popping pastries in the oven.

At 3 weeks you may well feel a bit sore, tired, standing up for ages might be difficult. I actually bled significantly a couple weeks after and almost passed out. Luckily but rather rather embarrassingly we were having the nursery decorated and the guy came down to steady me, sit me down, get me a cuppa and give baby a bottle. It’s best not to do too much, you may be absolutely fine of course! but always good to have a plan b!

Morewineplease10 · 21/10/2023 09:46

I'd either sack cooking off or have the main meal much later in the day so your mum can help.

shockeditellyou · 21/10/2023 09:46

In the nicest possible way, give your head a wobble 😂 Your health and well-being (including that of your new baby) is more important than your niece/nephews having a couple of hours play on Christmas Day.

Inertia · 21/10/2023 09:49

Postpone in-laws visit until Boxing Day lunch.

Buy in as much ready-made Christmas dinner as possible and aim to eat at 4 ish so mum and sister can help.

Boxing Day lunch is Christmas dinner leftovers.

CorvusPurpureus · 21/10/2023 09:50

Could you pack dh off to his db's house with 5yo ds & newborn (if that works with feeds etc) for a couple of hours in the morning?

14yo dd can go too or stay home if she prefers.

That way the cousins get to rampage somewhere else & you get peace to get all the stuff done you can't pre-prepare weeks in advance.

Then you just bang the bird in, curl up with your baby & let dh/dmum/dsis yoink things in & out of the oven, or on & off the hob, whilst you issue instructions & timings to satisfy your control freakery (I'd be exactly the same!).

JussathoB · 21/10/2023 09:54

To me this sounds as if you are giving yourself way to much to do. Now that you intend to cook lunch, in your situation I would definitely change the morning/breakfast plans. Perhaps DP could take your DS over to SILs just for an hour/90 mins? Or take DS and his cousin out to park for a hour even better? Possibly your 14 year old could go too unless she prefers to help you out with the dinner prep and baby.
You are perfectly entitled to make special arrangements this year due to having a 3 week old.
Other possibilities are moving your meal out booking to another day, or even having sister etc over to you for a buffet on a different day. It doesn’t all have to happen on Christmas Day! Given that so many family members work around this time, I’m a bit surprised you have not all thought of celebrating on different days so there’s not so much for you to do on Christmas Day. They all know you will have a tiny baby after all.