Cooking Christmas dinner with 3 week old…

[VillageFete]

Hi,

All being well, my DD will be 3 week’s old at Christmas (planned C section)

I already have a 14 year old and 4 year old.

The plan was to have inlaws (MIL/FIL/BIL and his 5 year old son) Up for pastries/sausage sandwiches/bucks fizz around 11am and then eat out with my mum and sister at 3:30pm as they’re nurses and both work Christmas day until 2pm.

I felt the breakfast issues might have been a little ambitious this year as my 4 year old son and 5 year old nephew go absolutely crazy together- the house is chaos with them on Christmas morning. Nephew’s mum (SIL) stays home to prep their dinner and MIL/FIL/BIL go back for dinner about 1pm, so we have them here for about 2 hours. Usually not a problem, but i’m dreading the chaos with a 3 week old and very little sleep? Want to caveat this with MIL only ever wants dinner at her other son’s house, she doesn’t have it with us (Although obviously welcome) She prefers to have it there, as she’s very close to SIL’s side of the family and they all have it together- we’ve not been invited but i’m sure would be welcome if we asked.

Regarding eating out - there’s been an issue with the booking and they can now only accommodate us at 12pm. Massive mistake on their part and i’m not very pleased. Everywhere else local is fully booked - I’ve checked.

With mum and sis working until 2pm, neither of them can do dinner plus their house is very small, no dining table etc so much easier for them to come here. Both are very close to my 14 year old DD and she loves spending Christmas with them.

I now need to do dinner, but need it to be as stress free as possible. How can I accommodate inlaws on Christmas morning whilst trying to do dinner with newborn? I’m thinking i’ll ask my mum to prep a few things the day before and bring them with her on Christmas day.

I usually love hosting, it’s never a problem and i’m very OTT with my Christmas dinner - most things from scratch and it takes a lot of prep. Obviously I need to dial it down this year. What can be made in advance?!

I’m probably massively overthinking this and won’t give a crap once baby is born. I’ll be recovering from a C section and tubal litigation. But at the minute I don’t want to offend anyone and still want my kids to have a nice Christmas and see the people that they love.

I’ll have a 4 week old gif Christmas (and a 2.5yr old) and I plan on doing basically nothing! Plan a meal you can entirely purchase or someone else can cook and put your feet up.

Just a small word of caution OP. From my own experience (4 DC), having catered 2 big events from scratch myself at a similar post partum stage to you (although with out the c-section!), if people think you are ok to host, they will not give you a hand.

I know everyone on mumsnet seems to pitch in, but I had literally ZERO offers of assistance and mucho requests for ‘specialist’ foods etc, so unless you can be absolutely sure people will be helpful, do not offer to host anyone.

I think you need to give yourself a break & maybe lower your expectations this year. My youngest was born late Christmas Eve. That year, we had lots of snacks and then ordered a curry. It was a different Christmas for sure, but still lovely and honestly one of my favorites.

Thank you all, have read all replies and taken everything on board.

Need to massively scale back. I really don’t think we’ll have inlaws round first thing in the morning. DP can take my older 2 for a visit, and they’ll have to do without seeing baby for that one day I think. I just feel uncomfortable at the thought of a house full, early morning, Christmas morning when exhausted with a newborn and the general exhaustion/stress of Christmas.

i’ve done an M&S order for as much as I can that’s easy to bung in the oven. DP can definitely do that - he can use the oven! I’ll make a couple of “special” things in advance and freeze, but i’ll have to accept that it won’t be anything as fancy as usual.

I’m clearly being over ambitious and need to just let it go this year.

I’ll have lots of nice snacks in, cheeses, chocolates etc… And some Champagne and Bailey’s. That will do!

I am very glad you have come to that conclusion, for your health and your mental health.

You now have a nice time period to make plans, set them up and get sorted, before you enjoy Christmas with your new baby this year.

That sounds perfect OP, well done for taking the advice and scaling things back.

I know what it's like to be a control freak and want everything to be perfect, and I've also had 2 Christmases with a 6 week newborn and a 3 week newborn. You just have to let it go for one year and concentrate on your recovery and your sweet little baby!

The rest of your family will be just fine, it's just one christmas/one day not seeing the baby, and they will survive (whereas it does pose a real risk to you if it interferes with your healing, or if baby is unsettled and not feeding well etc).

Delegate everything you can, tell your DH to deal with all communication with his side of the family and as much cooking/cleaning/entertaining/admin as he can.

I hope you enjoy a lovely Christmas with your family and I wish you a great birth and happy 4th trimester x

Congratulations OP have a lovely christmas!

I’m sure your family and DP’s family will have worked it out for themselves that it’s not practical or considerate to think that they would have any meals at your house this Christmas.

In that situation I’d cook the turkey the day before (or earlier and freeze sliced In portion sizes to defrost overnight Christmas Eve) and either reheat or let the hot gravy warm it. I buy gravy,but if you wanted to make it there’s the get ahead gravy someone linked. I’d peel and parboil potatoes a couple of weeks before and freeze ready to roast from frozen on the day (they’re fluffier this way anyway). Carrots/ sprouts/ other veg can be prepped the day before and left in salted water overnight if uncooked, or go in the fridge to reheat in the case of eg carrot and swede mash. Pigs in blankets/ stuffing can be prepped a couple of days before and rest in the fridge then cook with the potatoes on the day. Ask your DH to help put things in and out the oven rather than put strain on your CS scar- Christmas dinner for 6 can be heavy!

I did full Christmas dinner for us and Mil with 12 day old twins.

This is NOT a suck it up, competitive martyr message. I was a bloody control freak idiot and no one wanted to tell me no.

You, sofa with baby.
Husband, dealing with the chaos and guests.
You, sofa with baby.
Husband and kids, tidying up the mess.

You can prep the meat, tell him the temp and the time and get him to put it in. Frozen anything possible - roast, parsnips etc. Give instructions. Teenager can help.

You, sofa with baby.

Husband, kids, tidying, drinks, set the table.
Mom and sister finish off dinner prep and serve.

You, sofa with baby.
DH can clean up.

Yes, send your DH out with 4yo for a console of hours to do the crazy stuff. You spend time with 14yo - do the dinner & baby care together and focus on her presents etc.