Christmas Eve Birthday

[Sugarfree23]

How do you give a child a bundle of birthday presents and then build them up for Christmas day excitement?

Until now we've held birthday a few days earlier but feel he's getting bigger and birthday should be his actual birthday.

Or do we continue to do it earlier until he's well beyond Santa ?

Yes I suppose it's just getting out of the habit of conflating the two, but I will make more of an effort to distinguish them. I'll get DH and the girls on board to do the same.

As I have said before, DS is not all that "big" on birthdays, and I don't think he would be if his birthday was in any other month because hes not the type of lad who likes a lot of fuss made of him.

He's never had a birthday party. But I think he'd enjoy having a couple of mates round for the evening one night before the Christmas hols to play video games together

"Pudding'd out"

Yep, that's exactly why we've never done a birthday cake for DS.
Problem is he's not a fan of cookies, and we don't do blowing out candles in our family (DD13 never wanted to, the other kids have preferred sparklers since covid).

If he doesn't want a birthday cake (which i suspect he wouldn't, hes not that much of a sweet tooth to be honest. but we will ask him of course), we can do him a special birthday pizza...with loads of sparklers of course!

My DC1’s birthday is Christmas Eve. We make Christmas Eve all about the birthday, not Christmas, until bedtime. So we have birthday balloons, banners etc. up in the kitchen (Christmas tree and Christmas stuff in the sitting room), do birthday presents (in birthday paper!) and cards in the morning and then a special birthday outing (often to the theatre to see something non-Christmassy, but we’ve also been ice skating and to the zoo) including a birthday lunch out. We have birthday cake when we get home and then when they are getting ready for bed all DC get their Christmas pyjamas and we put out stockings and mince pies etc. for Father Christmas - that is where the birthday ends and Christmas begins. In some ways it is a good birthday because he is never disappointed his birthday is over - he has Christmas to look forward to!

His party is a bit of a moveable feast - we usually do it in January which spreads the presents out a bit but did a half birthday in June one year which worked well. If I want to get him something big like a bike we get it in the summer and then he will have a small main Christmas present (he is not yet old enough to understand the value of gifts and gets so much from others on Christmas Day he wouldn’t notice anyway). So far it seems to work well, but I am always absolutely knackered by the end of Christmas Day!!

Ds was born on Christmas Day. We always just made a big fuss of how special it was. His birthday cards, banners etc were put up alongside Christmas things. Birthday present from us was opened upstairs after his stocking and before he went down for Santa stuff. Other birthday presents waited until later in the day.

Birthday cake is after Christmas dinner. So really a mix of the two.
if he was having a party it was the weekend before.

He loved it. Now says at least he was never at school on his birthday!

oh and he gets a wee cake on 25 June too.

18 this year and no complaints yet!

I'm late to come back to the thread but I'm so pleased by your updates, I was genuinely feeling sad for your son. I know Christmas is exhausting and expensive, but it's really not that hard to make a bit of effort and it's the same time every year so can save up all year.

Watchin with interest as our LO will be 1 on 22nd this year.

We'd planned to do a half birthday/summer party when she gets bigger so she gets a kids party. We were going to tie this to her christening date (16th July). It wouldn't have presente per se but it's a kids party at least.

This year DH's family is doing her a party earlier but they've already said "we will get her clothes for her birthday and presents for Christmas". When she is a bit older I'll put a stop to that as I want her to have a separate birthday and Christmas present experience not merged presents.

@Paynefully Yup, I'm a very early Jan baby and present stress was a real thing as a kid! It was so important to kid me to get it right, as there wasn't another present window until next year. Did I want the My Little Pony grooming parlour or a Sylvanian house?? What was I more likely to play with all year. It's a lot when you're 7 and have no control over your own finances 😂
@CowboyJoanna Your early posts on this thread made me desperately sad for your child. Christmas birthdays so easily get sucked into the Christmas vortex but I was always so incredibly grateful to my parents they they saw that and made sure my new year birthday was as special and important as if it had been a summer one. So no joint Christmas-and-birthday presents, no Christmas wrapping paper for birthday presents, obviously I always had a birthday cake. Being the other side of Christmas, decorations always came down in time for birthday balloons and cards to be put up instead. Like a couple of others I genuinely thought yours must be troll posts (he doesn't even get birthday presents, let alone birthday ones wrapped in Christmas paper?!) and I sort of still hope they are, or that at least you have heard what the grown up Christmas babies are all saying here. Of course he's not big on birthdays if his has never been celebrated in any way! Just let him see that his day matters as much as anyone else's does.

Are there siblings? Do they get birthday presents?

God that's mean. Poor lad

I have Christmas Eve twins. They’ve always seen birthday/Christmas as being part of the same celebration really. We talked about half birthdays but they weren’t keen, they like the house being festive, they like the advent calendar being a countdown to their birthday. Outings on the 23rd used to be what we’d prefer but to honest at least one of us was always ill by then so we gave up when they were younger. Enough room in our bellies for a birthday cake which they’re usually happy to share and doubles up as a Christmas Day desert as we don’t like christmas cake/pudding. It needn’t be a big issue, as he gets older he’ll be able to tell you what he’d like. We had a whole-class party when they were 5. They were totally overexcited and overwhelmed by the amount of unwrapping, never did that again!

Im a Christmas Eve baby and there are definite benefits. For starters everyone is usually home for your birthday (especially as you get older and siblings start scattering). Everyone is usually in the celebration mindset. Maybe as a result for my dc I have more of a morning mindset for birthdays..

We focus on breakfast /early morning being the big birthday moment, so the presents are set up the night before on the coffee table and all the siblings make a ‘throne’ out of one of the living room chairs with their blankets and fuzzy friends etc. Then in the morning the birthday child has a helium balloon and banners on their chair at the breakfast table and DH makes birthday pancakes for all. We then go and do presents in the living room with the birthday dc sitting on the throne. Then playing and fun until lunch (or school depending on which dc it it). Then a birthday lunch or dinner chosen by the birthday child and cake and singing.

For my birthday now, given that I host Christmas every year, we do a birthday lunch of my choice and a very small cake (so its always eaten up in one sitting). I usually choose a pub lunch out and extended family join in and its a lovely start to the Christmas festivities.

it all, works out as a nice addition to Christmas rather than taking away from it.

My parents used to ask me for present ideas every year and we came to an agreement that if there was enough stuff that I definitely wanted in Dec then I would get the gifts for birthday and Xmas, and if I couldn’t think of enough ideas, then money would be put back for later in the year when there might be something I did want (like a summer toy etc)

God I feel so awful now.

I can assure you they definitely are not troll posts. But I know one thing, this year will not be the same as all the last. DS is definitely getting birthday presents and paper this year, even if I have to cut down a bit on everyone else's Christmas gifts, he deserves it.

@CowboyJoanna sometimes it just helps to get perspective from others who are in similar situations because being a Christmas Eve baby myself then having summer children and my "just after" Christmas birthday is the one I find hardest to arrange. Birthday pizza sounds fab and something my daughter would enjoy too. It's the simple things sometimes like with my daughter we don't do anything that differently to what we probably would do on a post Christmas day but when we're playing board games as a family she might get a party hat or sash to wear and we make a little "oh birthday girl gets to go first" fuss.

I'm so pleased for your son @CowboyJoanna I know you say he's not really bothered but inside he'll be deeply happy that you've made a little effort on his birthday. Im a Christmas week baby and my parents didn't bother or make a fuss for me (one time my 'D'M forgot and drove to the nearest shop - newsagents - so I ended up with a handful of magazines that birthday! Money wasn't even an issue, it was sheer lack of effort) you don't forget these things.

Don't waste energy on feeling bad, just channel it towards the changes you can make for him this year. Ultimately he deserves the level of treat everyone else in the family gets. It's not his fault he was born when he was.
He might feel a bit overwhelmed thinking of double the present ideas, so if he does maybe he could get money in place of some to buy himself stuff in the sales or later in the year. Sales shopping with birthday money is the one huge benefit of being a Christmas baby!
And if it feels too overwhelming for him to add a birthday party to the mix this year too - presumably he hasn't had those either - then postponing it until his half birthday in the summer might work better. We did that a few times when I was little as there are so many more options when it's sunny.

@CowboyJoanna have you ever asked him what he'd like for his birthday?
I bet its just not crossed his mind that he's never had birthday presents. But glad you are going to change it. Hopefully he won't remember that he's never had a birthday present.

Something to open and maybe some money to spend later in the year might be a way to go.

This is so nice to hear! My DS is a Christmas Day baby and I hope he has a such good Xmas and birthday memories as you :)

DS1 birthday is the 22nd. He is 17 this year son we are going to do an escape room and lunch out. When he was younger we tended to have his party either early/mid December or early January.

Its not as bad for DS as its a week AFTER Christmas but we tended to prioritize party and/or experiences/holiday more for birthday.

When he was little we would go on holiday as he didn't have anyone to invite to a party. In primary school we did the holiday and whole class party and now in his teen we do an activity with him and meal.

Gifts this year are tickets to a show (not until mid year) and a few novelties (pet toy to use with our pets, fidget toy, calendar etc... almost more stocking filler stuff)

Growing up Christmas was always the big gift giving event of the year, I think presents I think Christmas. Birthdays (ours weren't near christmas) we got stuff but it wasn't the same as Christmas (just a few smaller gifts) and then a big party.

I never really think of birthdays as huge gifting events really.

DH birthday is mid year, falls on a bank holiday (easy to remember right?) and his parents forgot his birthday until the last minute often.

One year when he was 8 they completely forgot. He kept thinking something was coming right up until bedtime when he finally realized they completely forgot him.

I was applauded, how does someone forget that? (wasn't in the wake of disaster like a death or medical emergencies either that might justify bigger goings on, they just simply forgot about him).

My DH has that same not big on birthdays attitude because he was always forgotten... its a self defense protection thing.

He tells people his family 'just don't do birthdays' but they do, we have been to lots of family parties... they just don't do them for him (so I make his birthday special now).

How can you forget your own kids birthday?

@CowboyJoanna is your boy looking forward to Birthday & Christmas ?

'last year we saved Christmas pudding til the 27th and we sang happy birthday while DH flamed it. We were all in hysterics'

Wow that sounds like pure salt in the would... you literally laughed hysterically in his face about it?

Here is the Xmas left overs kid, you don't get a proper cake of your own so we are going to mock you about it, isn't that the funniest thing ever?

My sons birthday is 15th Dec so admittedly not as bad but some years we do gifts and ask family to give cash so he can chose something he wants himself later in Tyne year or January sales.

My son will be 18 this Xmas Eve, always done separate presents and taken him out somewhere for food. We usuall see some family and exchange Christmas presents as well. My family have always ensured separate presents and birthday wrapping paper. Now he is older he tends to have a large present covering both birthday and xmas and then smaller wrap ups for each day.