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Christmas

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Original poster

Christmas Eve Birthday

88 replies

Sugarfree23 · 30/09/2023 08:05

How do you give a child a bundle of birthday presents and then build them up for Christmas day excitement?

Until now we've held birthday a few days earlier but feel he's getting bigger and birthday should be his actual birthday.

Or do we continue to do it earlier until he's well beyond Santa ?

OP posts:
Qwerty21 · 08/10/2023 22:26

@Sugarfree23 we do half birthdays. Until little one decides otherwise

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 09/10/2023 07:08

@CowboyJoanna that us terribly sad and I would be very concerned your DS is just used to this and accepts it because you have never made the effort. Do you talk about how expensive that time of year is? Refer to birthday cake as a waste etc? 😞

DN will be ten on Dec 27th too and she loves her birthday. SIL always takes down the Christmas decorations on Boxing Day and replaces with birthday decorations (balloons you inflate at home etc) in time for DN waking in the morning. There’s presents, no sign of festive paper, cake and the family gather like we do for her Dbro and Dsis in May and Aug!

StaySpicy · 09/10/2023 07:35

My DS has a Christmas Eve birthday. He's only 5, so not many of them negotiated so far! I do a big present in the summer - so bike, sandpit etc. so he gets a present when it's warm and sunny. Then, I do an advent calendar with slightly larger presents than just a chocolate, like a book or small lego set, each day to build up the excitement.

On his actual birthday he gets one present from us and opens family presents, I do a cake, banner etc. Then Christmas Day he gets his Christmas presents. He has a party either in November or in January.

So he gets a lovely, spread out birthday, with plenty of presents and excitement. It's the best I can do, so I hope it works for him as he gets older!

sanityisamyth · 09/10/2023 08:19

DS has a birthday 3 days after Christmas. We go to Center Parcs every year so he has a proper distinction between the two events :)

gotomomo · 09/10/2023 08:39

I'd do a nice dinner out or book an activity eg is bowling open? Something not Christmas related.

We also have winter birthdays though not as close, we don't do big piles of birthday gifts and the amount spent depends on need, but instead we bought them gifts in the summer and once old enough each got a set amount each July to go clothes shopping with etc, spreading it out

SBHon · 09/10/2023 08:39

If DS was big into his birthdays he'd get extra presents too (well, not "extra" presents because he'd get the same amount of presents as his sisters, but we'd spread them out so a couple of them he'd have to wait until the 27th to open).
You’re confusing birthday presents with Christmas presents here I think? They’re not ‘extra’ Christmas presents; they’re birthday presents? @CowboyJoanna

CowboyJoanna · 09/10/2023 08:56

SBHon · 09/10/2023 08:39

If DS was big into his birthdays he'd get extra presents too (well, not "extra" presents because he'd get the same amount of presents as his sisters, but we'd spread them out so a couple of them he'd have to wait until the 27th to open).
You’re confusing birthday presents with Christmas presents here I think? They’re not ‘extra’ Christmas presents; they’re birthday presents? @CowboyJoanna

The two are so close together they're both Christmas and birthday presents.

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 09/10/2023 10:10

CowboyJoanna · 09/10/2023 08:56

The two are so close together they're both Christmas and birthday presents.

Show quote history

@CowboyJoanna so your DS gets the same amount of gifts as his sisters on Christmas Day plus birthday presents on his birthday? Your original post makes it sound like he just had to spread out opening his gifts but only the same amount as his sisters and they get birthdays in top of that.

ShippingNews · 09/10/2023 10:17

birthday should be his actual birthday

Why "should" it be his actual birthday ? There are no rules about this . My DS was born on 22nd December, and I decided to celebrate it a month earlier so the two days wouldn't get mixed up . That lasted until he was an adult - no harm in it ! He knew when his birthday was, but he got a proper birthday and a proper Christmas and it did nobody any harm.

Christmasbroughtmeback · 09/10/2023 10:21

@CowboyJoanna Do his sisters get parties and birthday cake?

Original poster
Sugarfree23 · 09/10/2023 13:12

@CowboyJoanna I'm reading this as your DDs with Sumner birthdays get birthday and Christmas presents but your DS only gets Christmas.

He gets exactly the same as his sisters do for Christmas but nothing for his Birthday. What about extended family Grandparents/Aunties do they give for Birthday and Christmas?

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Original poster
Sugarfree23 · 09/10/2023 13:33

I'm really grateful to this thread. I think we will continue with family round / party a week or so before his birthday.
Just our gifts on the day and get out to lunch/early dinner with the build up to Christmas starting when we get back. Which also seems doable on the years we are hosting Christmas.

It's really been really helpful. I can't believe I've not thought about going out before now. Probably that thing of last year being the first normal Christmas for a few years and a massive difference in his age before covid and now.

OP posts:
SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 09/10/2023 15:06

Sugarfree23 · 09/10/2023 13:33

I'm really grateful to this thread. I think we will continue with family round / party a week or so before his birthday.
Just our gifts on the day and get out to lunch/early dinner with the build up to Christmas starting when we get back. Which also seems doable on the years we are hosting Christmas.

It's really been really helpful. I can't believe I've not thought about going out before now. Probably that thing of last year being the first normal Christmas for a few years and a massive difference in his age before covid and now.

That sounds like a great plan.

CowboyJoanna · 09/10/2023 18:14

Sugarfree23 · 09/10/2023 13:12

@CowboyJoanna I'm reading this as your DDs with Sumner birthdays get birthday and Christmas presents but your DS only gets Christmas.

He gets exactly the same as his sisters do for Christmas but nothing for his Birthday. What about extended family Grandparents/Aunties do they give for Birthday and Christmas?

That is correct. On paper it sounds unfair but it wouldn't be practical to give DS more presents, we already spoil all four kids rotten on Christmas Day Grin

Every year my mum gives the girls one Christmas present, and DS gets two (both are in Christmas paper but she writes "happy birthday Noah" on one of the tags). My siblings don't do presents at all (my eldest sister only sends us a single Christmas card for the household that reads "happy Christmas to all the family, PS Happy birthday to Noah!") All my Australian inlaws do a single joint present for DS that works out more expensive than the girls' Christmas gifts.

As I've said before, we're all so worn out after Christmas festivities nobody is really in the mood to go whole hog on DS's birthday, not even DS himself. So an ordinary chillout day is all we've ever really done.

CowboyJoanna · 09/10/2023 18:15

Christmasbroughtmeback · 09/10/2023 10:21

@CowboyJoanna Do his sisters get parties and birthday cake?

Of course they do.

Damn, my heart aches for poor DS but it just isnt practical for him Sad
I think I feel worse in a way for him because hes such a lovely grateful young man, he never asks for anything and he greatly appreciates everything he does get. Meanwhile as much as I love my girls, they tend to be a bit more grabby (DD8 especially)

Catswillbecats · 09/10/2023 18:31

My daughter is a Christmas Eve baby. We always have a birthday wall and stick her cards up, birthday balloons and banner. We go out birthday breakfast. It's Christmas Eve from 12pm and not before. She is an adult living at home still and we still do the same. It was difficult when she was at school, we could never have a party on the day always before or after.

bexboz · 09/10/2023 20:32

My baby was born on Christmas Day. He's not one yet but my plan is to have really distinct birthday and Christmas traditions (which I've been so excited to create when planning to start a family!!) for example if the birthday tradition is to have a little mini treasure hunt for the birthday boy/girl then we'd set a separate time on Christmas Day for him to have his birthday treasure hunt. Also I have a lot of Scandinavian family so Christmas Eve is actually the bigger event (when you open presents and have the big meal) I plan to make more of a big deal of Christmas eve so Xmas day is quieter and more room for birthday energies :)

Original poster
Sugarfree23 · 09/10/2023 22:44

@CowboyJoanna thats incredibly mean to your son. One day he will notice and may be incredibly hurt when he realises he never even got a birthday present from his own parents and his Gran couldn't be arsed to use birthday paper. Who doesn't keep rolls of birthday paper in the house?

You could give him cash for birthday that he could buy something later in the year. A supermarket cake and a few candles doesn't cost much but at least recognises it's his special day

OP posts:
SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 09/10/2023 22:48

Sugarfree23 · 09/10/2023 22:44

@CowboyJoanna thats incredibly mean to your son. One day he will notice and may be incredibly hurt when he realises he never even got a birthday present from his own parents and his Gran couldn't be arsed to use birthday paper. Who doesn't keep rolls of birthday paper in the house?

You could give him cash for birthday that he could buy something later in the year. A supermarket cake and a few candles doesn't cost much but at least recognises it's his special day

@Sugarfree23 i am starting to think @CowboyJoanna is winding everyone up. Surely no one can be so blasé about treating one child so appallingly.

Original poster
Sugarfree23 · 09/10/2023 22:53

@SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything it has cross my mind that she might be on the wind up too.

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Original poster
Sugarfree23 · 09/10/2023 22:58

@Catswillbecats breakfast is certainly an option. At the moment I'm thinking lunch / dinner but considering options. It's fab to hear how other Christmas Eve families do it.

@bexboz curious question about cultures where Christmas Eve is the main event - does Santa deliver gifts?
I know a couple of families with Christmas Day birthdays they do the birthday gifts after dinner and have birthday cake instead of Christmas cake.

OP posts:
CowboyJoanna · 10/10/2023 15:55

Im not on a windup, this is just how we've always done it. But reading this thread I don't want DS to grow up feeling left out, feel a bit crap now Sad

I think I should patch things up and do him some extra presents for his 10th birthday this year, birthday wrapping at all. I'll scale back on the food as well so I can make him a proper little birthday cake

BlairWaldorfOG · 10/10/2023 16:41

@CowboyJoanna our daughter has a birthday around the same time as your son, it does tend to feel a bit less "extra" than the others but she does get gifts. Maybe if he genuinely doesn't want or need anything else other than what he has for Christmas you could roll the gift over so give him an IOU/ cash in for later in the year? With the cake, my daughter is a bit pudding-d out by her birthday and isn't a huge cake lover but she likes things like a giant cookie with candles or something a little different.

You don't need to go all out pulling Christmas decs down but a banner and a couple of balloons and a birthday breakfast always goes down well with my daughter. My parents didn't go wild for my birthday but the touches differentiated between my birthday and every other Christmas time day and made it feel special.

Veenah · 10/10/2023 17:49

CowboyJoanna · 10/10/2023 15:55

Im not on a windup, this is just how we've always done it. But reading this thread I don't want DS to grow up feeling left out, feel a bit crap now Sad

I think I should patch things up and do him some extra presents for his 10th birthday this year, birthday wrapping at all. I'll scale back on the food as well so I can make him a proper little birthday cake

Glad to read this, because as things stand it will hit your son some day that he was treated differently to his siblings, even if you think he doesn't notice now.

I know others have pointed it out but it's noticeable that you keep referring to "extra" presents when they're not extra. They are birthday presents that his siblings currently get and he doesn't.

My birthday is around the same time as your DS's and my parents always made a fuss. Always had separate presents just as big as my siblings would get for theirs. Never had a big party as people are often visiting family etc but and if any of my friends who lived nearby were free they would come for a little gathering with cake and usual birthday goodies. Any extended family nearby would pop around. As a result now that I'm an adult, when people give me sympathy when I say I've a Christmas birthday my response is always that I never minded as my parents were great about it.

SBHon · 10/10/2023 18:51

CowboyJoanna · 10/10/2023 15:55

Im not on a windup, this is just how we've always done it. But reading this thread I don't want DS to grow up feeling left out, feel a bit crap now Sad

I think I should patch things up and do him some extra presents for his 10th birthday this year, birthday wrapping at all. I'll scale back on the food as well so I can make him a proper little birthday cake

Unless you call his sibling’s birthday presents ‘extras’ then that’s not what his are, they’re his birthday presents.

Has he ever had a birthday party with his friends? The run up to Christmas is a great time for an early birthday party because everyone is in the mood for a good time. Maybe this year you could have a couple of his friends round for a birthday tea?