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Original poster

How old are kids when they stop believing?

69 replies

Hibernatalie · 12/09/2023 18:10

DD is 7 and pretty wise and savvy and it just occurred to me we might not have long left of her believing.

I never believed so not sure from a personal perspective.

How old would you say they normally figure it out?

OP posts:
2weekstowait · 12/09/2023 18:21

I can't remember exactly, maybe about 8? Mine seemed to reach a stage where they half believed and half didn't, as though they wanted to but knew it wasn't rational. My youngest recognised my wrapping paper as being the same 'wrapping paper' Father Christmas had when he was about 6 or 7! Also depends if they have older siblings, or if their classmates have older siblings who spill the beans.

BoohooWoohoo · 12/09/2023 18:22

My kids worked it out by 6 but there are kids who get to 10/11 before they have to be told.

Bananasplitlady · 12/09/2023 18:25

Mine was 9, but when I posted this as a reply on MN years ago, I was called a liar, DD was deemed to have learning difficulties or I was deluded. However, she was just sweet, a bit gullible and genuinely thought he was real. One day she asked me straight, I said he wasn't real and she was gutted.

stargirl1701 · 12/09/2023 18:29

My 11 year old is debating.

My 9 year old believes.

They attend a wee rural school in Scotland though.

Hellocatshome · 12/09/2023 18:32

You will get such a wide range of responses, it all depends on your child and the influences in their lives.

DS1 told me point blank at 4 or 5 he didn't believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. DS2 is 13 and has never actually told me he doesn't believe but I'm 100% certain he doesnt.

In our house though even though we have no believers we still do all the Christmas stuff, write letters to Santa, leave a carrot for Rudolph etc. I think me and DH will do it even when the kids have left home.

Original poster
Hibernatalie · 12/09/2023 19:16

Bananasplitlady · 12/09/2023 18:25

Mine was 9, but when I posted this as a reply on MN years ago, I was called a liar, DD was deemed to have learning difficulties or I was deluded. However, she was just sweet, a bit gullible and genuinely thought he was real. One day she asked me straight, I said he wasn't real and she was gutted.

I absolutely believe you - my nephew had to be told when he was 10! Bless him

OP posts:
Upandonward · 12/09/2023 19:56

DS(8) has been wavering since last Christmas but I think this will be the last Christmas he believes, if he actually makes it to then still believing. He has a lot of friends from a religion that doesn’t believe in Christmas/Santa and they told him last year that ‘Santa doesn’t exist and it’s your mum and dad putting presents under the tree.’

Doesn’t bother me, I think there is too much fuss and pressure over believing in Santa, particularly for older primary age. SIL was outraged when I told her the above and she said she would have had words with their parents.

Lennon80 · 12/09/2023 19:58

Second to last year of primary I think mine was - I had to tell him as he was crying as some irresponsible mum told her son his ps5 was from Santa so he was sat around miserable as sin wondering why he hadn’t

DrCoconut · 12/09/2023 19:59

My youngest was in year 1. He just worked it out with his friend at school. They figured it was illogical. The others were maybe 7 ish.

DinnaeFashYersel · 12/09/2023 20:01

My youngest is 11.

She definitely still believed last Xmas but don't think so now.

My eldest was about the same age. 10/11 when he stopped believing.

ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS · 12/09/2023 20:07

DD1 was 10, she found out last year after DH messed up, she was devastated, no ND no special needs absolutely a bright clued up girl, but a big believer in the magic of Christmas. Even though she knows she’s still happy pretending for her sisters and wants it to be magical. She’s also enjoying helping me keep the secret and shop for her sisters.

DD2 is 9, I’m not sure with her, I think she just dosnt care. She acts like she believes but I think she will just shrug when it dose come out.

DD6 definitely still believes.

RichieMcAl · 12/09/2023 20:08

Does it matter? It’s a charade enjoyed by both parties

purpleme12 · 12/09/2023 20:08

Mine is 9, almost 10.
She still believes.(believes in fairies too)
But loads of people on these threads are absolutely convinced this isn't possible

Original poster
Hibernatalie · 12/09/2023 20:11

RichieMcAl · 12/09/2023 20:08

Does it matter? It’s a charade enjoyed by both parties

Yeah I think it matters. Of course the lovely charade will continue until they're teenagers if I can help it, but truly believing is different.

OP posts:
CrestonGate · 12/09/2023 20:18

I used to volunteer in a primary school and when this sort of conversation went on I would say well my sons put their stockings up for Father Christmas and they are always full on Christmas morning.

You can still try to convince them even if they say they don't believe sometimes they are hoping that you will tell them that he is real. He is real, he is a belief he just might not actually fill those stockings.

Ds1 was told by a gobby classmate when he was year 5 literally 2 weeks before Christmas and was upset that he found out that way. The child was calling everyone stupid. We told Ds2 when he was in year 5 after Christmas and before he went back to school because again, there was a vocal child telling everyone that FC wasn't real and his Mum was shrugging her shoulders and not telling him to stop.

My youngest child is now 17 and he and his older brother still hang up their stocking on Christmas eve and it is full on Christmas morning. All the other presents come from us. FC just brings token gifts.

honeyfox · 12/09/2023 20:21

I was 8 or 9 I think (about 1985/86). I do have a friend whose child is 11 still believing in Santa and Elf on the Shelf (it goes on holidays with them) so that's going to be difficult.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 12/09/2023 20:22

I’ve never actually told mine it’s real. We just had Christmas and there were stockings. But she clearly believed enough for a while, and at about 8/9 she kinda figured it out - I think. We’ve never had a convo about it though, and she’s careful to keep the magic going for her little sister.

PuttingDownRoots · 12/09/2023 20:24

It depends on how much they want to believe. DD1 wavered at 8 in the summer but believed again by Christmas, then was happy to 10. The not believing wasn't a big thing... she just asked if she could help with stockings.

Younger DD recently announced she knew, but wanted to continue with it all because its fun. She's 10.

CoodleMoodle · 12/09/2023 20:44

My 9.5 year old has never told me she doesn't believe, but I reckon if she still does it's her last year. She questioned me on the Easter Bunny this year so Santa will probably be next.

She'll be keeping up the pretence for her little brother (5) though, I know she wouldn't want to spoil it for him.

gogomoto · 12/09/2023 20:45

My then 9 year old told my then 11 year old in an argument, my 11 year old did have done delays, was pretty naive (in mid 20's she's similar to a 16/17 year old development wise)

cocksstrideintheevening · 12/09/2023 20:47

I've never actually told 12yo Dts it's just kind of evolved over the years. If their mates have older siblings they are likely to figure it out earlier IME.

SquigglePigs · 12/09/2023 20:49

My 4 yr old has been picking holes in the story so I don't think we're going to get many more years out of her but I'm hoping to at least build it back up this year. My 7 yr old Goddaughter has pretty much figured it out but wants to believe enough that she won't to commit to it being a story, and is keen to keep going with it with her 3 yr old sister.

mrssunshinexxx · 12/09/2023 20:51

I was 12!! This was 19 years ago so well before social media and things just generally very different my friend told me and I and my mum were gutted can still remember it now!

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 12/09/2023 20:55

I believe, and my DC at college, secondary and primary all believe too.

yes it is a tradition supported by both parties but there is no differentiation between belief that Christmas can be wonderful and magical and that we have people we love expressing their love and the physical actual man in a red suit climbing down the chimney. Father Christmas or Santa Claus is literally the magic of giving and I believe in that and we add lots of shiny embellishments to the story, yes, but that’s the basics.

Father Christmas has visited my house every year, no matter who has lived there, he came when I lived with my parents at all ages, he came when I lived on my own, he came when I lived with my DH, he came when I had DC and he will continue to come every year, with a flourish, with sparkle and stories and excuses to be excited or get a little extra, from him, to yourself or to a loved one or whoever….

mrsfollowill · 12/09/2023 21:04

My DS is in his 20's now - he 'pretended' for mine and DH's sakes he believed as he thought we did and would be gutted!
He reckons he had sussed it out when 5/6 yrs old. I believe him to be fair - he has autism and has always loved maths/physics from being really young - he knew the timing/logistics of a sleigh flying around the entire world wouldn't work. We never actually broke the news to him!
A friend of mine had to tell her 11 yr old before he started high school so he wouldn't be teased. He was shocked and angry she had 'lied to him' he felt a bit daft I think.