How old are kids when they stop believing?

[Hibernatalie]

DD is 7 and pretty wise and savvy and it just occurred to me we might not have long left of her believing.

I never believed so not sure from a personal perspective.

How old would you say they normally figure it out?

Mine was about 10/11 and we'd never particularly pushed the Father Christmas story AND she was in a class where at least 50% of the kids didn't celebrate Christmas. Friends regularly told her he didn't exist but I think she just wanted to believe for a while

Belief isn't an all or nothing thing.

It moved smoothly from true belief to a game we are playing, with just a sprinkling of "it might be true" on Christmas Eve when they want to believe.

I've never understood why people feel they have to make a big announcement about it. I fully expect to be reminding the dc to put out their stockings when they are adults.

I think it depends if other kids in their class tell them or not. I can remember my DD was told by some girl in her class at 7 and she told them you must be lying because my parents don't know what's in my presents because they are excited when I open them. I held my breath but the following year she came and asked me. 🤣🤣

My D's moved out about 6 weeks ago to live in his own house. Last week he asked me if he could sleep over on Xmas Eve. I thought it was so he could drink a lot and not have to drive on Xmas morning, but no he told me he likes to hang his stocking on his bedpost and couldn't bear to wake up to find it empty. He's 27.

Hmm, I think it was 9 or 10 for my eldest (who had suspicions for the last 3 years apparently - he likes to think things through 🙄). And the PITA then promptly told my youngest (2 years younger) - apparently his brother didn't count when I said "you need to keep this to yourself because other children still believe".

Funnily enough youngest was as equally devastated to realise that also meant the Easter Bunny wasn't real. Said Easter bunny only ever visited every other year (or so) because SHE couldn't get her shit together to get the multi- egg packs in time, so not quite sure how I managed to sell that one ....lol.

DS is 10 and am pretty sure he didn;t believe last year though he wanted to. His older sister was a similar age and then enjoyed becoming complicit in the secret. His younger brother is nearly 8 and an evil genius and has already worked it out I am sure.

Just so true. I never understand the ‘we’ll have to have the conversation’ comments - no, you really don’t. They’ll work it out for themselves.

I was 7 when it dawned on me that a magic guy on a flying sleigh pulled by reindeer delivering presents was something grownups made up.

My DD figured it out when she was 5 as part of a wider realisation along the lines of unicorns definitely aren’t real, the Easter bunny is obviously nonsense, the tooth fairy sounds a bit far fetched and therefore Santa isn’t real either.

I remember my niece being sat down and told before secondary school. They were really worried about shattering the magic but also how she might get teased, so much agonising. She just shrugged and said she’d known since she was 8 but thought she had to go along with it to get a stocking since grown ups didn’t get one she thought saying Santa wasn’t real meant she wouldn’t either 🤣

I think what people forget when talking about Santa is that there is a developmental side to this.

At approximately age 7 they go across a developmental divide.

under 7 they are able to hold fantasy and reality at the same time. So they KNOW at one level that it is some bloke dressed up, but at the same time they completely believe that it is Santa.
They are able to hold 2 competing realities as both true, as they live partially in fantasy. It is why small children are able to throw themselves so firmly into imaginative play.

But that stops around 7 and then they cannot hold on to the belief because they know it isn't real.

and mine are 16, 18 and 21 this Christmas and still want stockings!

Most I've known have been 7-8

Mine were 12 and 10 when they separately worked it out ( big age gap) but I've never actually told them that Santa's not real...and they still want stockings despite being older now! We like the magic in our house!

Double post.

If that's the case no one would be religious either.

That is what most kids do. They pick up that their parents want them to believe, so they pretend to.

My two are definitely still pretending to believe (age 9). Think they're worried I'll stop doing stockings for them if they admit to not believing (I won't stop obviously)

Depends on the child. I’d figured it out by your child’s age. A friend was devastated when he found out at ten. I went to a small rural village school, which MN would have you believe guarantees belief in Father Christmas until 13, but that doesn’t stop the glaring inconsistencies of the story being apparent. By Year 4 in my school, most didn’t believe. Not that I told my parents that, as I had my eyes on the prize.

what a strange comment.

These developmental stages are well known.

and if your work with small children you can see it easily. The point where they genuinely believe the fantasy as much as the reality and then when they move on from it.