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Christmas

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Original poster

How old are kids when they stop believing?

69 replies

Hibernatalie · 12/09/2023 18:10

DD is 7 and pretty wise and savvy and it just occurred to me we might not have long left of her believing.

I never believed so not sure from a personal perspective.

How old would you say they normally figure it out?

OP posts:

Newuser75 · 12/09/2023 21:06

Mine was 9. He was honestly devastated!

livingonpurpose · 12/09/2023 21:08

Ds believed up until last Christmas when he was 11 and in Year 7. He started to waver in the face of so many comments (as you would expect) but didn't ask outright. Then early this year he did ask. I reminded him that if he didn't like the answer he couldn't take it back and asked him if he still really wanted to know. He decided he didn't want to know!

So he 99% no longer believes but doesn't want to know for sure just to keep that 1% possibility for magic alive.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 12/09/2023 21:08

DS is 11 nearly 12. He does have add though. DD8 asked last year if I "helped" father Christmas and I said yes.

Honeychickpea · 12/09/2023 21:12

In my experience they usually figure it out around 7, but many pretend to still believe.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 12/09/2023 21:15

My dd was 11yo, I thought she might have figured it out before then but no.

She was gutted when I told her 😢

redmalt · 12/09/2023 21:16

I was 9 when I found out he wasn't real, I was devastated 😂

LolaSmiles · 12/09/2023 21:16

I suspect it depends how much effort the parents and family put into pushing it.

The parents who are low key, do stockings and talk a bit in a light hearted way about father Christmas coming are probably going to have children who realise it's not true sooner. The traditions and charade might continue for fun but it's not a sincere belief

The parents who focus on making everything believable and invest time and energy into teaching their children that Santa is fact, and then spend years trying to think of ways to keep the story going so that their children don't start asking too many questions, are probably going to have 10 year olds who believe because their parents have pushed it as fact for years.

CoQ10 · 12/09/2023 21:21

My kids are 11 and I think they still believe. We haven't discussed but when I said that we are on holiday overseas for Xmas they looked at me and were like 'will FC come'?!

LindorDoubleChoc · 12/09/2023 21:24

I was very young because I woke up when my parents brought my stocking in. It's one of my earliest memories actually. Maybe 3 or 4.

I've always been the most hopelessly light sleeper.

YewTree84 · 12/09/2023 21:25

I have never told mine, it's not necessary and I wouldn't dream of it!
He clearly knows but my response has always been "be careful, he might not come".
He's 17 now and I still try and get everyone excited on Christmas Eve, he bloody loves it and just shakes his head at me. All part of the fun and magic.

Gymmum82 · 12/09/2023 21:25

My DD is 9 and believes. This might be her last year.
We’re not all out parents who put loads of effort in. The stockings get filled and that’s about the extent of the effort here.

Hermie12 · 12/09/2023 21:29

We had the conversation last week and DD turned 9 yesterday .

Screamingabdabz · 12/09/2023 21:29

I don’t really have a clue because mine are young adults who earn more than me and “Santa” still visits our house... If you don’t believe he wont visit!

(In reality it was probably around the same time as the other kids at school year 6/7 but we never spoke of it and they humoured me.)

Absolutely totally and utterly unnecessary to break the magic.

ohfook · 12/09/2023 21:30

I work with kids who are fairly savvy so this might not be representative of all kids but I'd say a fair few don't believe by year 4 and only a tiny minority- sen or children who are very young for their age - are still believing by year 5.

bonbon2023 · 12/09/2023 21:33

My 9 & 6 year old still believes in the tooth fairy and Santa. I haven't got the heart to tell the 9 year old but when the penny does finally drop I hope she doesn't tell her sister 🥹 I want to keep their innocence they are little for long.

cornishpiskeys · 12/09/2023 21:34

I was 8, my much younger siblings were around 10/11 although they pretended to believe for much longer because they thought I’d be upset that they knew. I’m a massive child when it comes to Christmas and I will swear blind that he exists even now I’m a grown up with children on my own.

LuckyNumber6 · 13/09/2023 14:25

In my house Santa stops filling your stocking and bringing a present when you go to secondary school. He only gives 1 gift (not the main) because I want the kids to know that their parents do most of the work and also stops the awkward “why did little Jimmy get an Xbox and I got slime”. We never have a conversation about “is he real” because I think the kids just work it out for themselves, but by age 11, mum and dad take over…. Seems to be working so far 🫣
I don’t think I could look them in the face and say outright “he’s not real”. I agree with what someone else said before, just because they’re asking, doesn’t mean they want to hear the truth. But equally every family is different so you need to do what’s right for yours…

mogtheexcellent · 13/09/2023 15:54

Mine is 9. I think she half believes. She honestly would fully believe if it wasnt for a 'friend' last year. I took them to the cinema and everytime I mentioned FC she said 'doesnt exist'. She has older siblings whereas DD is an only so she could easily carry on for another year. I would tell her when she reaches 10 though as it will be her last year before high school.

countrygirl99 · 13/09/2023 15:58

Eldest had worked it out by 7 but kept stumm for the sake of his younger brother. I remember DS2 asking a question aged 5 after playground discussions and DS1 just gave me a knowing look asked him where else the presents came from. Neither confessed to not believing until they were teens as they were worried it would mean the presents stopped. But they both knew by 7. I suspect older beleivers are just good actors.

IggyAce · 13/09/2023 15:59

DS was 9 and DD has never asked I know she doesn’t believe. She probably was a similar age to ds when she figured it out, but happy to play along for her younger sibling.

snugglyblanket · 15/09/2023 00:59

DS, just turned 9, still believes but is starting to doubt so I wouldn't be surprised if we have the conversation this year. I'm expecting him to just state that the big guy isn't real and that'll be it.

DD, however, had to be told the summer before high school. She was a bit sad but thought it was hilarious that she'd not even questioned it! We went the route of Santa being an idea and the spirit of Christmas rather than a person, so we are all Santa. She was delighted to be inside the magic and carry it on for DS. She wouldn't touch the elf for ages, just in case, but now moves it around for DS to find. No ND, top few of her year academically, just a strong believer and she wanted to believe. We do go big on Christmas but I've never really pushed the idea of Santa.

I was probably 7ish, I remember listening for my stocking and knowing who was filling it but not sure how long I'd known at that point.

Mummyme87 · 15/09/2023 11:41

My DS9 believes but think he has a niggle.
DS5 definitely believes.

I think on average about 8-11yrs

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 15/09/2023 16:04

I worry it’s DD’s last year believing as I love the magic of her believing. She’s 8 now. She’s really gullible to magic and innocent. She asked me Xmas eve last year if Santa is real. She said “well I know the tooth fairy is obviously real but is Santa?” 😅She has a baby sister now so once she stops believing I’ll get her joining in to make the magic special for her sister.

kikisparks · 15/09/2023 20:30

I was 11. I’m not stupid and have no SEN I was just creative, fanciful and a bit gullible I suppose.

Saz12 · 15/09/2023 21:18

IME theres a difference between assuming Santa is real, and "suspending disbelief" to have the joy of it all.
We've never had the "But if course Santa isnt real" thing, but I sincerely doubt my 14-y-o actually thinks it.

As a child I tried to stay awake to catch my parebts out with the Christmas stocking when I was about 8, but definitely "still believed" at 11, because it was mure fun that way.

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