Doing Christmas Day BEFORE Christmas?

[canidot]

I alternate Christmas' with the DC, as I'm not with their dad. When they're with him for Christmas, we have our Christmas on Boxing Day or the day after with them, but they come home and we do presents straight away. They're still of Santa-believing age. I was speaking to DP today saying I'm sad I won't have them waking up here Christmas morning, the excitement beforehand on Christmas Eve etc and he suggested doing our Christmas on the 23rd and having the 22nd as our Christmas Eve. I have never heard of anyone doing this and was wondering if anyone had done Christmas with DC before the day itself and if so, any tips?

A very good idea,
we live in a country that celebrates 1 day early so we shifted christmas eve and have 1st christmas then the next day 2nd christmas *just father christmas presents but still the excitement of setting up all the stuff the night before.

If your DC are still of Santa-believing age, then no, this is unfair. How would you explain it to them?

If they’re past that age, discuss it with them and do what everyone would enjoy most, be that before or after 25th.

Would you tell the children it’s Christmas Eve/day? If they believe in Father Christmas, how will you explain two Christmas days? Not sure if I misunderstood what you meant.

If it’s his turn to have them and falls first on Xmas day I would let them have the first Santas been visit. Santa can come again to yours on Boxing Day.

If you had the kids on Xmas day and he had a pretend Xmas day on Xmas Eve you might feel annoyed. Let’s face it the first Xmas day of the year will feel more exciting, after all they have waited 364 days. Next year it will be your turn.

We have had it early because of work shifts when kids were small but we weren’t sharing it with another parent. Nobody else to get upset!

@NoSquirrels this is my fear but DP says that it will mean they get two Xmas eves and days as opposed to just another Xmas day. I guess we'd say that Santa dropped off their presents here early, but I am worried it will take away from their actual Christmas Day?

We did one year when DD was little because her dad was working Christmas day.

We just told her she'd be getting her gifts from German father Christmas (they do gifts on the 24th!) due to a mix up at the north pole. Wrote her cards in German and everything just for a laugh. She loved it because she got all her presents a day earlier than her friends!

DD is 12 and never believed in Santa. we’ve never “done Xmas” on 25 December. Can be any day between Nov and Feb. Sky is still where it should be.

Read up on Christmas traditions in Europe and tell the children that Santa Claus by his other names (Sinterklass etc) comes on different dates in December in different places.

So maybe he'll be coming to their two houses on two different dates this year as well.

I had a relentlessly logical dc who would have drilled down into the logistics of Santa delivering a day early.

What about having a letter from Santa/ elves drop down the chimney to let them know he’ll be leaving a gift at your house too? That way you’re getting to experience part of the build up and a little bit of magic.

I think it would. I also think it would take away from their father’s Christmas.

Sorry.

I work away for a few months at a time so our christmases have been anywhere between September and February. Never done it with our own kids because I've been home on maternity leave and office based for a while but my nieces loved having 2 Christmas eves and days. Made me the best auntie ever ever ever apparently.
In your situation though, I would worry that having your Christmas with them early looks like you're trying to get in before your ex gets his day with them. Not for one minute saying that's what you are doing, but it could cause issues if that's what he thinks is happening.

One of my sons is working Christmas day so we are going to have dinner on Xmas eve and a bit of a spread on Christmas day. Do what's best for you.

We always do Christmas Day early, it means everyone can come and then see their families (who are more uptight about it than we are). It was suggested by one child and has been a great hit ever since.

I think it depends on your kids, mine is a total logical stickler so no way would two Christmas days fly with him, sorry it’s probably not what you want to hear. If they’re proper into the magic and the build up of tracking the sleigh and leaving stuff out etc then I think it would confuse them?

DD calculated, aged 7 (and after a Prof Brian Cox lecture) that Santa would have to travel faster than the speed of light to deliver presents to every child in 24 hours.

Also knew that the 25th is actually pretty meaningless in terms of historical events, that most of the main facets of Xmas existed long before Christianity and that the solstice in the 21st has way more logical and scientific meaning than flying reindeer.

I think there are 2 different things here. Sone posters saying it's fine because it's "just a day" and doesn't matter when it is. But that's not the point - the point is that it would be taking away from your ex's turn for Christmas because it would have already been "done" by the time they get to him.

I agree with the posters that have said do your Christmas afterwards, and next year you get to do the whole "Santa's been" thing. It's the fairest way.

I alternate with my ex also, and I wouldn't appreciated it if, on my year (after having respected his turn the year before) he had his Christmas early and put the dampers on mine.

I would stick with what you've been doing up till now, and have your Christmas the moment they get back.

I should have maybe said he’s 4.

So when I say he’s a stickler for logic I mean that the narrative is that he comes on Xmas Eve for the presents to be there on Xmas day. He reads books with us like the night before Xmas and sees all the shows on tv about it being one special night on Christmas Eve, I’d just tie myself in knots with how/ why that process would be repeated for one year only on the 21st, for example.

I didn’t mean to open up a debate on which kid has the most realistic take on the logistics of Christmas. Only that for most children the common “order of doing things” is generally a Christmas Eve and a Christmas Day and kids chat in school of course, so opening up some random detail of why for one year only a Christmas was suddenly different might be more confusing than it’s worth.

I think it would be unfair on your ex.

I alternate Xmas with my exh. In both our houses, Santa delivers stockings on Xmas eve, for Xmas morning, all presents under the tree are from friends and family. On the Xmas when they are with their dad, I save on having to buy stocking fillers, yay! But we do presents from under the tree and dominos pizza the day before they go to their dad's, we have done this for 7 years now and the boys love it. IMO it's totally unfair to have Santa visit twice, the whole point of alternating Xmas day is that each parent gets the early start and excitement of Santa.

I think it's unfair to have Santa visit twice and will detract from the actual Xmas day. I would (and have when my DD still went to her dad's for Xmas) establish our own magical traditions. We had a Christmas fairy who left breakfast treats (jam mixed with edible glitter, croissants, pain au Chocolat etc) and they left little treasure hunt clues around the house to a Christmas box filled with stocking filler type gifts and one special gift for her to open. You could include things like tickets to a pantomime for that evening or ice skating or something special that you can make into your own routine. Then when they come home you have your own special day although we used to make it different from Xmas day and have party food and drink instead of a roast twice in a row

I think it's unfair to do it before Christmas Day. If you want to do another one after then that's more ok.

I would hate to be without my children on Christmas Day OP, so I am sure the idea of it is really hurting and I say this gently... but you are the adult. You know it's just a day and you know you get to deliver the magic next year. Think of some other way to make this Christmas period special with them on another day rather than repeating a Christmas Day. Then this could be your alternate year tradition. Go to the panto, or a Christmas light switch on, or organise a Boxing Day to remember with a "Boxing Day Hunt" round your house for presents...

Mine is still little so be doesn't know the difference but we are looking at doing Xmas in the US mid December. My folks could travel but won't leave their cats or chickens so we have to, every. single. time. So from UK regional city to London to Chicago and then a major drive.

I cannot stomach the excess cost, O'Hare at peak + weather risks, and a 4 hour drive (before the potential ice storm) just because my parents, who are retired can have the actual, yet still arbitrary, day.

It's mid Dec or nothing because earlier gets us into the same Thanksgiving peak.

-The Grinch

In your case, say changing locations didn't happen in time for Santa's complex schedule to adapt so they are likely to have two visits. How lucky and special!

Agree with other posters about not taking away from the DC’s dad’s time with them OP. Love the fairy delivery idea!!

P.s. @PumpkinSpiceSeason just tell them that you’re staying home for Christmas in your own house. What a palaver for something you don’t enjoy when they’re being selfish in not sharing the trek. There are so few magic years with young kids, maybe 9 Christmases between when they’re sentient and before they’re too cynical to buy in to Santa 😆 Don’t waste those years performing someone else’s version of Christmas.

NRTFT but yours (& your kids!) imagination is as big as you want it to be at this stage. There’s 101 ways you can sell it to them - as long as you do it with a big smile on your face they’ll believe it and love it. They don’t know any different - they can be the lucky kids that got two Christmases. I have sole custody of my kids and I have a lovely wider family. Christmas Day is always me, them & my mum. But we also do Boxing Day with my sister, brother and their families. They love both. They’re 9 and still have no idea what happens on what day. They just know they love it. This can definitely be adapted for any family. Some years we’ve done Boxing Day on the 27th or even the 28th. No one cares. The memories are made because the grown ups make them. Kids give zero shits about dates. They just care about people.