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Christmas

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Original poster

Doing Christmas Day BEFORE Christmas?

68 replies

canidot · 30/08/2023 12:10

I alternate Christmas' with the DC, as I'm not with their dad. When they're with him for Christmas, we have our Christmas on Boxing Day or the day after with them, but they come home and we do presents straight away. They're still of Santa-believing age. I was speaking to DP today saying I'm sad I won't have them waking up here Christmas morning, the excitement beforehand on Christmas Eve etc and he suggested doing our Christmas on the 23rd and having the 22nd as our Christmas Eve. I have never heard of anyone doing this and was wondering if anyone had done Christmas with DC before the day itself and if so, any tips?

OP posts:

Elaina87 · 31/08/2023 18:03

It could work. I think my daughter would live a second Christmas and for Santa to come twice. I'd question why you want to do it before and not after real Xmas though - maybe because you think they won't he as excited second time which means it will take away from their Dad's experience.

WhatsWorkLifeBalance · 31/08/2023 20:19

Nooo! Definitely not because it will spoil the excitement for the real event which yeah this year is with dad but your taking that away from him. How would you feel if he does the same next year? I think do it after as you planned and say santa left the presents for them.

Underestimated4 · 31/08/2023 21:00

We have, I told my daughter that because she has the two families that Santa makes extra special visits. Made her feel super special.

NotACompleterFinis · 31/08/2023 22:05

Tricky. If it's your exes Christmas would be unfair to trump that. However if your ex doesn't really do Christmas that may not be a problem. I'll never forget my ex doing the first Christmas - and Santa brought a playstation to be shared between Dad and the kids. No stockings were filled. Awful!
I've always done Christmas Eve/Christmas morning since then - but had to trade Christmas lunch - be careful what you wish for. We have often done our own Christmas lunch on another day - this is easier to move without explanations required etc.

mummyh2016 · 31/08/2023 22:26

It would be a shitty thing to do to your ex, how would you feel if he did this next xmas? It would take away some of the magic for xmas. If you're going to do this you may as well let him have them every xmas if they've already going to have celebrated it with you.
What about doing a Santa visit a couple of days before xmas instead?

CorylusAgain · 31/08/2023 22:38

I think that's actually a really shitty thing to do. Alternating Christmases is so that the children get to experience Christmas morning equally between both parents over time. Sneaking in a pre Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve undermines the whole thing.

You need to focus on making the day they come back really special. The presents under the tree, maybe a letter from Ssnta and extra stocking etc. Whatever you choose to become your alternate year tradition.

It's completely different to the examples of people travelling/visitingng/ or have family members away so doing Christmas on a day other than the 25th.

Sweep3 · 01/09/2023 07:08

We do this exact thing, it doesn’t take away from the real Xmas day or anything. We’ve always said Santa comes a day early to us, they’ve never questioned it and we do all things the same as if it was real Xmas eve/day in fact we always prefer it when is not our year to wake up with them on 25th, it’s more relaxed, no rushing to see relatives etc just have so much more time.
ours are 15, 13, 11 & 11 now and we’ve done it like that for a number of years.

MsSquiz · 01/09/2023 07:31

How would you feel if your ex did this? So the came to you for Christmas Day, having already had a full Christmas Day the day before?

If they are of Santa believing age, how will you navigate that?
"Santa came early to our house"? But then the following year will he go early to dad's house too?

Unfortunately an alternating Christmas arrangement happens with separation in families, and you have to work around it. I don't think it's fair to take away from their Christmas with their dad if you wouldn't be happy for him to do the same

TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong · 01/09/2023 07:54

The one and only time my kids went to my ex for Xmas ( they have specifically asked to spend it with me ever since and are teens so old enough to make that decision), we had a low key, very relaxed "Mini- mas" a few day earlier where we opened our gifts, watched a Christmas movie, played board games and got a takeaway... was lovely... now are Christmas days are all much more low key and we opt for a steak pie for Xmas dinner from our local butcher which makes it all very easy.

This year, I'm hosting family, so we'll be 10, and will do the steak pie thing for us all.? But planning to do a mini-mad as well before guests arrive!

snugglyblanket · 01/09/2023 11:24

I definitely would not do this. If roles were reversed and your ex did this to you I can't imagine that you'd be happy about it. If you want to do 2 Christmases then be prepared for your ex to do the same on your years.

Better to do a second Christmas when they get home. You can still do the whole day, just that they will know the presents will already be waiting for them.

If they are young enough that you haven't established otherwise, then it might be a good time for them to learn that Santa only brings stocking gifts and one present (like most of the movies) and the rest is from you. That way the big man doesn't have to be seen to deliver twice. Your gifts will be ready for them under your tree and you can start your own traditions for when they come home from their dad's.

Annaishere · 03/09/2023 16:31

You could celebrate new year with presents a nice meal and those Chinese lanterns

KittenCatt · 22/09/2023 05:22

Just do what’s best for you, OP.

Child-free household here, but we’re going to be in New York over Christmas. So my family has decided to have our typical Christmas Day before we go away.

Not only will we be in New York for Christmas Day, but we’ll be celebrating “Christmas” in our first home too 🥰

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 22/09/2023 05:47

Why not do something else that day? Panto? Ice skating. Some sort of trip out.

Natsku · 22/09/2023 05:55

We did Christmas about a week early one year, when DD was going to her dad's for Christmas, with Father Christmas coming and all (the Finnish way, when he comes in person in the evening to hand out the gifts) and it was fine, not confusing for her at all, but she was only 3 years old so not old enough to really think about the logistics of it all I suppose.
Did it early again a year later because we were going away for Christmas so wanted to open the presents we had at home, at home, and then had another Christmas with my parents.

SD1978 · 22/09/2023 06:01

If you knew that your ex was doing this, given you say you alternate Christmas, how would you feel? Would you be happy he had the 'first' Christmas celebration when you got them back for Christmas Day? That would be the biggest thing for me. I know other people have different opinions, but as a separated parent, I personally feel you each get the Christmas 'excitement' once a year, and the alternative year you get the follow Christmas. To do it early to always have the 'big' Christmas surprise moment seems selfish and a bit shit. I would be pretty put out if I never got the Christmas excitement, but always the follow up Christmas excitement.

OMGitsnotgood · 22/09/2023 08:59

I'd say you wrote to santa and said the best present you could receive yourself was Christmas Day with your children and Santa said he would make time in his schedule to make an extra trip.

annonymousse · 22/09/2023 09:59

We did "Christmas in June" one year as covid meant we couldn't have my daughter, son in law and grandchildren at actual Christmas. We decorated the house so it looked like santas grotto. Christmas music playing and had a proper Christmas dinner. It was fabulous and it really felt Christmassy.

We've always done more than one Christmas Day as we're a blended family and I often have to work on Christmas Day. Just make sure you have everything you need and shut the world outside. Inside the house it's Christmas 😊

Luckyduc · 02/12/2023 13:30

I did this with my son, he was aged 5 and I faked a whole Christmas eve and Christmas day and outlet it off brilliantly. We had the beat time and even we didnt feel any different. We did this cause we had booked a trip away over the Christmas holidays to go home and visit family far away....but our kid was excited cause then he got more presents too

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